What do you think of Grandmas raising their grandchildren?

United States
March 4, 2010 7:36am CST
What brought this subject up is I worry about my mom getting too strung out, for not only does she raise her grandson from my sister, but she also runs a licensed daycare everyday full of little children. My sister was only 13 when she got pregnant, so she wasn't old enough or mature enough to raise Adam on her own. Out of the goodness of her heart, my mom became the parent. Although my mom is close to 60 years of age, she makes sure her grandson wakes up for school everyday and makes sure he gets a good breakfast, too. she makes sure Adam is well-loved, clothed, fed, and cared for. Yet it must be a strain on her and her resources, too. What do you think of beloved grandmas raising their grandchildren, especially when they are already taxed by age, limited resources, and the like? My sister is very lucky that our mother cares for Adam in this way, and I hope she is aware of that fact.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
6 Mar 10
I think that in a situation like you've described with your sister and her son that it is a very admirable thing that your mother is raising your nephew. However, I also think that there are far too many people that take advantage of their parents to raise the grandchildren. For the first six years of my daughter's life we lived with my mother. She helped us with Kathryn and later with Paul, but in no way was she raising the children. Now, however, my brother, sister-in-law and two nieces live with her. She is mostly raising the girls when she is home because it seems like their parents don't care a lot for them. I feel bad for my mother because she raised three children of her own and now has to work to keep the house and still has the added stress of the girls.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
Well, what else can I say? Your sister and her son Adam are very lucky to have a mom or grandmom like her... So how old is your sister now towongfoo27? I know it is a bit hard for your mom especially with her age but I am sure she is happy looking after her grandson, Adam. Mothers are really like that, they cannot afford to see their children suffering, more so their grandson or grand daughters... They have pure and unconditional heart for their kids.... We all know that, even if she (your mother) loves what she's doing, she is alo somehow getting tired and that is normal especially with her age. Being the oldest sister, I think we must help our mother in our own simple way... Better talk to your younger sister too about these facts... You and your sister are lucky to have a mother like her!
• United States
4 Mar 10
Thank you for your kind words, lovelyn_medrano! My sister, myself, and Adam are indeed very lucky to have a mother like her! My mom does seem pretty happy looking after her grandson, and I think the two have developed a closer relationship. and you are right about grandmothers and mothers, we cannot stand to see our kids or grandkids suffering one iota. My mom has such a big heart, that if she could, she would take care of us all for as long as she could! I indeed feel very lucky to have mom like her! She is a saint! Sometimes we talk like old friends and sisters!
@basqui (3890)
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
there's nothing wrong with it friend, as long as the grandma is not forced to do so. i think she even loves doing it, more than your sister does, is it? maybe your nephew is lucky! maybe you didn't even experience the pampering your mother is giving to your nephew now than when she was caring for you at your childhood, right?
• United States
4 Mar 10
I admit I do get a little insecure and jealous that my nephew gets a lot of attention, and you are right. When my mom was caring for me and my four other brothers and sisters, she wasn't able to spend the amount of time I wanted her to with us. She was too busy. And now Adam gets a lot of attention, yet my relationship with my mother has improved, too, for she will send me little treats and care packages in the mail, and I her. She will still cook my favorite homecooked meals, and take me out to eat sometimes at my favorite restaurant. I just think I miss it, and when I see my mom being so generous with Adam, I almost want to run into her arms sometimes like a little kid. Yet being the oldest, my mom expected me to be the adult. Yet now that my mother and I are both a tad older, we treat each other with kindness and generousity for the most part.
@phoenix8606 (4978)
4 Mar 10
hi! there is nothing wrong about that, that you mom is raising you sister's kids, because there are many mothers who left the cares for the children to the grandparents, because they don't have time enough. I think it is good, because they have already raised their own children and have some experience, and it is also good especially if this is the first child of the mother and she doesn't have much experience!
• United States
4 Mar 10
Hi phoenix8606! You are right, my mom does have plenty of experience from raising the five of us, her children. When my baby sister had her first son, she was still a kid becoming a teenager, so my mom took the responsiblity. but I worry, for Adam wonders why he is not living with his mother like he should, for he is also aware that his younger brother lives with her. I just think he is starting to ask questions now that he will soon be in middle high school. I just think it bothers him a bit to be living with grandma, although he has a very strong bond with her too. My mom has taught him to use his words when he gets really mad, instead of throwing a temper tantrum. I just don't want my mom to get exhausted.
@smacksman (6074)
6 Mar 10
Hey, us old wrinklies over 60 are pretty tough you know! haha We can take hard work in our stride even if we may not be as speedy as we were a few decades back. Your mother has the one powerful thing in her favour - a deep and powerful love for you all. I have the same for my children, well adults now, - unconditional love for them, good times and bad times, rough and smooth. The cards may not have been dealt exactly the way she would have wanted for you all but we all play the hand we hold to the best of our ability. In 20 or so years time I'm sure you will be prepared to do the same if the circumstances arise.
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
I have nothing against grandmothers raising their grandkids, because I myself was raised by my grandmother. Both my parents are working that time so they would give me to my grandmom when working and return me back once they've done working. She raised me to be level headed despite my father's an OFW and have access to everything I need.
@hvedra (1623)
5 Mar 10
It is becoming increasingly common but not only with teen pregnancies and the like. My in-laws have spent a lot of time looking after my brother in laws kids because both he and his wife work. They could afford childcare or for either one of them to give up work but the grandparents are pretty much the primary carers. It is wearing them out and my BIL and his wife don't really appreciate it and cause such a fuss when the grandparents say they can't take them for whatever reason. I don't have kids and people sometimes ask me "Who will look after you when you are old?". I think I should say "Who will you be looking afte when you are old?"
@ShepherdSpy (8562)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
5 Mar 10
From an experience standpoint,She's already part of the family,and has been through the whole process of raising her own family already,so knows what's what with kids..As Long as Age or mobility wasn't a problem for Her,and it's not putting her out of her way,Then She's playing a bigger role in her Grandkid's life than the usual "Let's go visit Grandma this weekend"...Agreed..I hope Your Sister recognises this.
@sether7 (184)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
Your sister is very lucky indeed as well as the son because he gets well-loved by his loving grandmother. I am a parent and my daughter is living with her grandma too which is my mother in law. I think its not right but we've got no choice because I have a job and I can't take care of her. I also don't want anyone to take care of her as she might get ignored by her nanny (if ever) and learn some things not appropriate for her age. Atleast I don't worry about things like that because I know my daugher is being disciplined by her grandmother the right way. I just see to it that I can go at their place whenever I am not busy and I have no work especially for special occasions where family is involved.
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
i salute your mom for the doing the obligations that she is not supposed to do. make sure she still feel important and loved. your sister should be aware that she must be mature and she should realize the consequences of the things that she did. that's all. :)
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
4 Mar 10
I am against that grandparents are given the extra burden of raising their grandchildren. I don't see anything wrong, if they are in good health to give a helping hand to take care of their grandchildren. In my opinion, it is one thing to giving a helping hand and it is another to raise their grandchildren. For example my parents pick my son from school until my wife and I can pick our son after work. He usually does not spend more than an hour at their house. Up till now they are both in good health. However I try to be the least burden for them. I am not in favour of grandparents raising grandchildren because they need to relax and enjoy life after thie hard work during the years.
• United States
4 Mar 10
I think your mother is a blessing to her daughter for one. She saved the child from what could be a disaster later on. I think adam is doing the grandma some good. She has something to do every day. Which keeps her up and going. She is still good to go at 60 years old. I just hope she has the mother doing her fair share as well. The daughter should not get off this easy with the mistakes she made. Your mother is great to take on Adam like this.
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
oh my god your sister is too young to get pregnant, i guess shes the youngest girl i've known to get pregnant early but then things are already happened so what we need to do now is to face it. im kind of thinking the same situation too as i am pregnant right now and since the guy left me and i have no job, i was also thinking of to leave my baby with my parents in the province then i will look for job here and just send them the money, then if my salary is good enough, im also planning to look for a nanny for my baby since my mother is already old. i know that i have no choice since im still trying to fix things right though those are my temporary plan. im still thankful co my parents are still alive as i they are the last person who can surely understand my situation. anyway, years from now, your sister will be old enough to take care of his son so it might just temporary as of now.
@syankee525 (6294)
• United States
4 Mar 10
i give them high parise. to be able and wanting to do that, no matter what strain she have of doing this. its hard for a grandparnet to let a grandchild be up for adotion or put in the system, i know when my daughter thought she was, i did want her to give it up