Is 18 Really Old Enough?

Philippines
March 5, 2010 12:28am CST
My sister turned 18 a couple of days ago and though she has grown up I could still see the lil 3 year old who used to tag along wherever I go. Since she turned 18 she keeps thinking she has special privileges like she can come home anytime she wants, be involved in serious relationships, she wants to move out of the house and share a room with her friends but of course still ask mulah from us since in my country studying is full time especially if you are enrolled in baccalaureate courses. I understand that she wants to taste a dose of freedom but I'm afraid she would get into trouble. It got me thinking is 18 really old enough to make all these life changing decisions? Is 18 mature enough to handle life on its own? Where do you draw the line?
3 people like this
31 responses
@basqui (3888)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
teens tend to want to get away from home when they reach 18. maybe it's because they want a taste of freedom as they say but i think teens should still stay at the parents house until they have a stable job. although moving to a new house will give them independence, the guidance of parents or older siblings is still needed.
2 people like this
5 Mar 10
I agree.
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
i don't so. She still lives under your roof ,until she gets a job and doesn't depend on you anymore then i think that is the right time. 18 is still very young. You know teens nowadays, they all thought they are "mature" enough to be on their own but it ain't. They all feel that no one can dictate to them what they should do. Maybe you can give a her that little freedom but with limitations like curfews, knowing who they are hanging out with and some old fashioned stuff. just be a friend to her and not as a mom, so she can talk to you about everything.
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
yikes,typo! sorry.
@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
Eighteen is the start of the maturity stage but I don't find it appropriate to witness her doing all those stuffs. Being free is not by doing what you've always wanted but it's about doing what's good.
1 person likes this
@akuler (3531)
• Malaysia
5 Mar 10
Hi candyfairy, For me, it is not how old are you to determine whether you are old enough or not. It is your maturity. If you are matured enough to handle all the older stuff the you can say you are old enough. But even if you are already 20 or something but can not face a difficult situation maturely then you are not old enough. Older people use to set the 18 years old as an indicator because during their time, most of them can work independently and have their own family by that time. This is very isolated today. Some people still depend to much from their parents even though their are at their 20's.
1 person likes this
• India
5 Mar 10
No defenitely not. 18 is not an age to be free... yeah you can taste some amount of it but a bird in a cage when left out it flutters hard and hurt herself... So no to any kind of explesit freedom until one turns out to be matured rather than getting 18 years of age. I believe that this is not an age to get along with all your fantacies and get going probably this is a time to sit back and make your carrier. Guide her please.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
6 Mar 10
I agree quite true
@totor_53 (223)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
18 is not old enough. 18 signifies a new responsibility for you to grow and to be mature. 18 means you need to choose carefully each decisions you should take. 18 means the start of a new life.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
I don’t think so. For me it depends on what has happened in their life before we consider them matured. As about your sister, I think she is not serious about her decision to move out as you said she always wants to tag along with you. How come she will separate herself from you? Do not allow her to do what she wants, she is still young to be independent. Sometimes parents allow their children to do what they decide at the age of 18 but sometimes they lead to bad results. For me, they can consider matured when they already graduated in college and have a one experience working in a real world before they can be separated with matured people. I also got the chance to know those who are below 18 but they already learned everything from their life. Most of them have no parents at all , and they depend on themselves.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
6 Mar 10
If an 18 year old can go to Iraq and fight, and even die for their fellow soldiers, then yes, they can handle getting an apartment. The question isn't how old is she. The question is how mature is she. If she's a little baby 18-year old, then no she isn't mature enough. But that is because her parents did a poor job maturing her.
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
7 Mar 10
Quite right. Age is just a time measure and has nothing to do with maturity. Each person is different. There are children who have had life changing experiences who are mature quite young as they have to grow up to survive.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
7 Mar 10
Yeah, and sometimes they simply have parents that have high expectations, and thus they become mature. As opposed to parents who would rather be their teenagers best friend, and end up with rotten spoiled baby teenager.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
7 Jul 10
I think that at the age of eighteen years old there are certain doors that are opened to us. However, I don't think that it is old enough to make a lot of life changing decisions for ourselves. I know that if I would have been out on my own when I was eighteen years old, I would have made a lot of mistakes in my life that were avoided because of the fact that my mother was there for me. No, I think at the age of eighteen we are able to start acting more like an adult, but I don't think that we are ready to be completely independent.
• Bangladesh
3 Apr 10
Hey friend, It is generally assumed that a boy reaches maturity at the age of 21 and girl at 18. But there are exceptions. I've noticed several cases where a boy or a girl hasn't yet reached maturity even after being in the specified age limit. It actually depends on mentality or psychological development, not physical development. Then it's wrong to judge one's maturity on the basis of age only. Maturity is a state combination of both physical and psychological improvement. Thus, it's hard to say at which age we've to draw the line. But I can say it easily in this way that actually the of maturity of both a boy and girls tarts from the age of 20. Have a nice day.
• United States
14 Mar 10
18 is definitely not old enough. Just barely out of High School and no where near enough experience in the "real world." Have her get a crappy part time job while going to school and let her try to pay all her bills on her own. She will soon realize that things are a lot tougher than they seem. While she may be eligible for a little extra freedom than when she was younger, she is not old enough to move out on her own. Regardless of what she may think, she still needs guidance regardless of what she may think.
@freymind (1351)
• Philippines
1 Nov 10
in my experience when i was 18 i know for a fact that i wasn't matured enough. i don't know much about things since i lived with my family and been pampered a lot. maturity doesn't come with age its through experience. a lot of teenagers right now think that when they reach this age they are old enough to taste the freedom and own it. afterwards they'll realize that its going to be hard. if she can stand on her decisions then let her go. its better that she learns the mistake by herself. its her life let her live it the way she wants to but be sure to be on her side when she needs advice. and do not blame yourself or your parents blame theirs if your sister messed up or got into trouble. if you have given her the best advice that all of you could give her and she still decided on her own to do these things, then let her learn the lessons and know the consequences.
• India
31 Mar 10
No my friend 'definiterly not' , neither the body is matured nor the mind, it is the age where the girls and guys get misguided and move on wrong track usually, well only thing is the body, they can produce kids They need guidence of parents and elders Good discussion, cheers Prof
@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
I belive that 18 is indeed old enough, but wait old enough to be taught about the value of life, how to treasure ones dignity and all sorts of good stuff. Being 18 is not old enough for you to take huge responsibilities such as your own family or doing what you think is right, i believe in this stage of life we still need the guidance of our parents or anybody older than us to guide us through the difficulties of life ;) enjoy life , enjoy what life has to offer no matter what how old you are it is not too late to enjoy everythin that life can offer to us
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
7 Mar 10
Personally, I feel 18 is only a figure. Whether the person is mature enough will depend on the individual. Some 18 year old are capable of looking after oneself and making superb decisions. Some 36 year old may not be as capable. I feel it all depends on the individual and his upbring and how much you can trust your own judgement.
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
7 Mar 10
The trouble is that as her older sister you will probably always see her as the little girl tagging along behind. Parents sometimes have this problem as well and are unable to see their children as adults. True 18 is just the first step into adulthood but she has to learn to take care of herself. If she is never allowed to experience life and learn how to handle it on her own then she will either never grow up or she will escape so she can experience it. Everyone matures at different rates depending on their personalities and their life experiences. It has nothing to do with age or gender. The trouble is that if she has to escape to learn these things then she will find life to be harder to deal with. It is much better to grow with a supportive network that have to learn on your own. What were you like at 18?
@scaflone8 (190)
• Philippines
6 Mar 10
Well age for me is not the basis of maturity its her level of thinking. There are a lot of 20's and 30's that are more immature than teenagers. You should give her the freedom to decide for herself. You cannot always give her the silver platter, because if you do instead of helping her you would be doing the opposite. She might not be able to a decision for herself in the future. All of make mistakes and we mature by learning from those mistakes. A bird allows her child to jump off from the nest so that it would be able to fly on its on. Be her guide not her dictator. The best way for you to help her is to be her support. If she makes a mistake give her an advice when she comes to you and always, always be there to support her on whatever she decides for herself. If she does plan to move out, check on her every now and then. Go to her place every now and then to check how she is doing and always have a constant communication with her although don't go over the top.
@verabear (796)
• Philippines
7 Mar 10
Maturity doesn't come all at the same age for everyone so it's not easy to say yes or no. When I was 18 I was pretty responsible but I didn't plan on striking out on my own or anything like that. Now, I have nieces who are almost 15 and they are in no way ready to grow up. When they are 18, I would still feel like they are too young. Of course, it may just be because we are so close to them and see them as our babies, you know what I mean?
@hagirl (1295)
• United States
6 Mar 10
From the 18 yo I have been around the last two years I will have to say NO...Maybe 1 out of 10..... They just are not as mature as they were 25 years ago.....
• China
8 Mar 10
Hi candyfairly21, I think there have no relation between the age and maturity, one should handle everything well and self-dependence fi mature enough, and I think a student is never be a mature person jurning the school time, social is vary from school