His Gfirlfriend Got Pregnant By Another Guy

Philippines
March 5, 2010 1:35am CST
One of my guy friend recently just broke up with his gf. Okay lemme rewind a bit. About a month ago my guy pal told us (his inner circle) that his gf wanted to get married already. My pal loves this girl so much but he insisted on waiting for awhile because he is going to sit on a licensure exam to be a licensed attorney. My pal wanted to focus first on his exams but after he passes the exam he already planned to propose to her. However the girl kept bugging him about marriage almost everyday and my pal started to ask himself why his girl is in such a hurry. Now fast forward he found out his gf is pregnant and it isn't his. When he confronted her she admitted she is almost 2 months pregnant but the father of the child is her ez-bf. So this explains why she was hurrying to get married. My pal could not take the betrayal and he left her. He told me that even if he agree to marry her and forgive her, he would wake up everyday seeing the child and he does not know how to handle that. If you were in my friend's shoe would you marry the girl and accept the baby?
10 people like this
56 responses
• United States
11 Mar 10
I wouldnt be able to see past the betrayal of lies and deceit. everytime i would be with her i would constantly think of her cheating and i would become completely insecure about the relationship since trust is no longer there. i say leave her alone, ur friend has enough things to deal with than a girl with extra baggage.
1 person likes this
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
8 Mar 10
i definitely would leave that girl. there are a lot of girls who try so hard to be on the right path so that in the end they might end up with the same kind of man. if you would try to observe the people around you: we are only as good and would end up only as good as the person we decide to end up with. you definitely would't buy an almost rotten fruit when there are fresh fruits in the basket, right? what would you do with it anyway except throw it yourself?
• Philippines
9 Mar 10
you'd definitely throw it away, as you would not want to eat something that's rotten since it could poison you. lol right on sistah. I just wonder though there are girls who are straight but sometimes they get the rotten guy, and the girls who flirt around gets the good guys, hmmmphhh what the heck is wrong?!
1 person likes this
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
9 Mar 10
probably because people always think they should fall in love? so, even if the guy is rotten the girl still thinks to just get on with a relationship with him than end up with nothing in the end. as for straight guys ending up with not so straight girls they probably weren't that strong and intellectual enough to think first before forging a relationship with these girls. i think if everything is in place in one's life then the straight girls would still end up with straight guys and so would be the case with guys also.
@JamesKYTan (1607)
• Malaysia
7 Mar 10
If your friend really loves his girl friend then forgive her. They can get register their marriage first then the customary celebration can come later, after the 'licensure' exam. We are now in the 21st. century; all the celebration can come later even after the delivery of her child.
• Philippines
9 Mar 10
I think the point is not about forgiveness, its about trust. she was in a relationship with him when she slept with her ex boyfriend. then she did not tell him the truth but tried to manipulate things so she could cover up her a** by coaxing the guy to marry her so soon. Had she told him straight I guess he might look the other way around but she hid the truth from him deliberately and tried to manipulate him now that's another thing.
• Malaysia
9 Mar 10
Hi candyfairy, I agree with you, it is about trust. She has gone steady with one, and yet she slept with another. She asked for forgiveness and if it is genuine and the boyfriend loves her and forgives her then it is OK. But don't ever make the same mistake again. Cheers!
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
Oh!!!! That is terrible! I am a woman and I hate what the girlfriend did to your guy friend! That is DOUBLE betrayal! First: she cheated on your friend and got pregnant... I wonder how many times she did "that" with her ex boyfriend... Second: She tried to again cheat your friend by asking your friend to marry her! What? To make your friend answerable for her wrong act! So where is this ex boyfriend now??? I wonder... To be franked, I am not sure if this GIRL really loves your friend. To do such things!!! How could she says she loves your guy friend??? It makes me wonder too, if this girl is just using your friend to save herself from drowning! Well, anyways, if your guy friend decided to forgive this girl, for the final decision is still lies on him, I just hope that he makes the girl repent and make up for all her betrayals first before giving in... I hope his BIG LOVE for this girl would not push him in forgiving her that quickly... But if I were him, I think I deserve someone BETTER! I don't deserve a cheater! If she did it to me twice... then what is my assurance that she wont do it to me again??? Knowing her history... I think I would be hunted with it... Well, it takes time to forgive and forget. But I think the most hardest part is the forgetting stage... We can choose to forgive and accept the person despite of the betrayal but the forgetting is the thing that we cannot push to ourselves... Well time can tell... if it is us really... then let the time heals all the wounds... I will not make any effort for now... I would also not going to marry this girl and give my name to the child just as she wanted... NOT NOW... MAybe after some time, when the feeling is still there and I saw changes on her, I might consider-- but definitely not NOW!
• Philippines
6 Mar 10
I agree with you! Eventually, she may be forgiven. But the hardest part would be forgetting what happened. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and covenant. It is not a scapegoat for people who are embarrassed. And I think it would be unfair on your guy friend's part that he should be the one to shoulder a problem that isn't his in the first place.
@freeboy90 (458)
• Italy
5 Mar 10
In this case, the child is the only victim for the stupidity of the mother, I would probably react like your friends did, and I would have probably also get really mad at her fro trying to trap me into a wedding, that is such a mean move, I don't like people who think like that. Of course getting up everyday and seeing a beautiful creature which is the result of very intimate moments between the woman you love and another man is a real big burden to carry on for the rest of his life. Your friends did well in my opinion and the ex girlfriend didn't behave like a person that was in love for him that's for sure.
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
I agree with you freeboy90 . The child is also a victim here. It is the mother's fault! I am really against the girlfriend's way of escaping on her bad behavior. And I also don't think that the girl truly love his boyfriend... This girl tried to manipulate the situation... she tried to play with the guy's feelings too... I don't think I can give my full trust to this person after what she did... That is double betrayal!
1 person likes this
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
Hi candy.. he did the right thing.though it hurts but life must go on. I can relate with your topic, cos i've a friend with the same experience like your friend. my friend and his gf been apart for 3 months, cos my friend was deployed to another city but when he came back,her gf was already 2 months pregnant, the girl admitted, and my friend wants to marry her despite of everything, he's crazy in love with his gf, but the girl refuse and just married the father of her child.
• Philippines
10 Mar 10
hats off to your friend! I don't quite get it straight guys would fall for the bad girls, while its hard for the good girls to find the right guy! something is wrong with the equation! At least she had some sense of decency not to keep the guy tied up when he is not responsible for the baby.
@dorannmwin (36683)
• United States
7 Jul 10
Well, it is difficult to put myself in the shoes of a man because of the fact that I am a woman. However, I think that it would be difficult for me to accept this because of the fact that she wasn't honest about the situation from the beginning. If she had been completely honest about her pregnancy from the beginning, then I think that it might have been something that I would have been able to accept, but the deception is what would make it impossible for me.
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
What your friend did was right. Although he loves the girl, he can’t still accept what she has done. It is a betrayal. He will be a martyr if he will accept the child when he knew that the father is just around. I hate the girl for insist about marriage, she obviously using your friend to escape the mistake she had done. She is doing another mistake to hide the first one, which is never right. What he did was right. And I know some of the guys will decide like that. I know its hurt on his behalf, but he have to face it that a girl can be bad like that. I hope he can still pass his licensure exam after what her ex-girlfriend did to him. I hope his mind will not be much affected by what has happened. And I hope too that the father of the child come out so that it lessens the problem, because I know somehow your friend is still concern about his ex-girlfriend.
• United States
14 Mar 10
Your friend did nothing wrong. The girl should have been up front with him about the pregnancy instead of hiding it and pressuring him into getting married. What did she think he would have to accept the kid after they were married? Or was she going to lie to him about that as well, tell him it was his when it really wasn't. In my opinion, he really should let her go. Let her go back to the ex and marry him if she wants to be married that badly. Odds are her ex doesn't even know she is pregnant and he'll probably run screaming in the other direction as well.
@reploid (1239)
• France
14 Mar 10
I will never accept that girl or her baby. I would left her and her baby and will never meet her again. I won't get too frustrated over this as I know this girl is not what I'm looking for.
• United States
9 Mar 10
NO! Because SHE made a point of lying about it or just NOT telling him until HE ASKED? WTF?! Dude PLEASE... her azz better go see her EX about child support. I could have forgiven her for cheating (after I'd given her a taste her own medicine FIRST) and getting pregnant but, NOT TELLING a BROTHA... OH NO MISSY, JUST "F"ed HERSELF OUT OF MY LIFE PERIOD!
@whyaskq (7553)
• Singapore
7 Mar 10
How many people can accept a betrayal? I would not be able to too. In this case, the girl is the willing party and I think it is not fair to the guy to accept somebody's baby as one's. Unless the guy is so forgiving and is blinded by love that he does not mind buy one get one free.
@verabear (797)
• Philippines
7 Mar 10
Although the situation isn't exactly the same, I know a couple who was in the same situation. A guy friend got together with a girl, and then later found out that the girl had gotten pregnant. However, it happened before they hooked up so the girl didn't really cheat on him. They are still together until now, four years later. They aren't married and I'm not sure if they live together, but the guy has a great relationship with the child. So i guess it works in different ways for different people and it depends on the circumstances. I don't know if your friend was already with his gf when she got pregnant or if she cheated on him, one thing's for sure though, she should have come clean instead of asking to get married right away.
7 Mar 10
I think he was right to break up with her. The whole relationship was based on dishonesty so was probably doomed to failure anyway. I don't see anything wrong with taking on another man's child - after all lots of men do it all the time and very successfully - but no man should be tricked into it. She should have been totally honest with him from the very beginning. He might then have fallen in love with her for all the right reasons and then, when the baby was born, be able to care for it like a father.
• Philippines
7 Mar 10
If I were that guy, I would not marry the girl and assume the responsibility of taking care of a child that is not his. But then, there are guys who love his girlfriend too much and is willing to accept this together with the child (and take over someone else's responsibility). At the end of the day, it is his decision to make.
@bellis716 (4807)
• United States
7 Mar 10
It seems that he has already decided that he could not accept the child as his since, biologically, he or she is not. It would not be fair to the child unless he changes his attitude.
• India
6 Mar 10
First of all, your friend doesn't run any orphanage home, does he? In a love life, choices are more important than chances. Your friend had already made the decision to go for the exams, then why he did continue to admit his love's pressure. At the spark a doubt, he should have verified the fact his love sleeping with her ez-bf. He should not have taken two months to verify her bugging. Anyway, at least now he has known the fact, better leave her alone. His decision is totally wise. Instead of going through a hate campaign thru out his life, better he quit it.
• United States
6 Mar 10
Only if he truly loves this girl should he marry her and forgive and accept the child for it will be yours if you raise it. They also say if you live with someone you look a lot a like after time. I think if he chooses to he will love the baby once he sees it. Truly do not do it for the wrong reason but for the right reasons.
• United States
6 Mar 10
if she will do it to him once she will do it again once a cheter always a cheter does she think your friend is stupid and would not figure it out when the baby came early she is in a real pickel he did the right thing he would never be happy with her
• United States
6 Mar 10
I never wanted children. If I were a guy I would have told her to leave. It takes a special person to Want to raise a child , even if it is his . But to raise a child you Know isn't yours? That is a superhero. There are many who could and do but there are many who can't. I am proud that your friends did the right thing for himself. If he couldn't accept the child , it is better he stay away. The child would be hurt more by having a father figure who doesn't love him or her than not having a father at all.