as a couple , what your parents do,that you will not do?
March 7, 2010 8:52am CST
hi. parents are role models for us. in many ways we follow them, try to be like them,learn a lot from them. maybe as a parents , they are ideal. but when you see them as couple ,what's the one thing you don't like about them? or may be you'll not do when you are married? personally, i don't like my parents impatience. they react very fast. after long discussion(or i say fight ) they listen to each other. i find it too disturbing. what about you? is there any thing you don't like about your parents?
8 Mar 10
My parent’s lack of humour…humour is something which I feel is integral to keep a marriage happy and rocking. Also you’ll agree that fighting among parents is very common in every household…but if they can make-up with a smile and laugh it off in good humour, then the bad aftertaste doesn’t linger on or permeate to the kids. Like all normal couples, my parents too had their fights but both of them would then sulk in their respective corners making the atmosphere very tense…dad would refuse food, mom would refuse any talk and this would go on for some days at least with lot of acrimony. I feel that as couples and parents, we can fight in front of our kids but should laugh it off and lighten it…so that the kids too learn that its normal for couples to fight but they should be responsible enough to laugh it off…they should not carry that bitter feeling in their mind.
8 Mar 10
The things I will not allow to happen to my family just what we experienced is for living separately with my wife after a misunderstanding or even because of not being in-love anymore (since for me, its only an excuse). If we are a married people, we should consider our children before coming up to a decision like this. Its only for the parents benefit. In the end, the children will suffer the most because they will not have a normal life. I will love my wife with all my heart and I'm looking forward to have a successful marriage and family life someday :)
8 Mar 10
Though they have long discussions, we should bridge the gap, then it would not be disturbing us. There are occasions where we should interact in between quarrels (long arguments). The fight may be personal or stress due to office works, if we help our parents they may get relief and minimize the fight effect.
8 Mar 10
Yes, some couples could be very impatient to each other. It is so unlike the courting days when they could be the most patient ones when it comes to their beloved. Well you've made a good observation in this regard. It is really not good to do the same. We have to be patient to whatever mistakes or shortcomings our partner can do. This is one way to keep the love burning! Well I've not seen any impatience on my parents. I think they've been really sweet and loving of each other so I am trying to do the same too.
8 Mar 10
Smita, when in my childhood I saw my parents fighting, well, I [B]was[/B] disturbed. Though I found both had been correct in their own right I used to find my father's stance more reasonable, most of the times. My mom used to say I always support my father. But then, on one occasion I did support my mother and my father was stunned and so was my mother. All through their fights I used to think I do not want to fight like this when I am married. But in my own marriage I have been through fights, that (even though it is a billion time exaggerated) put Indo-Pak wars to shame. One never understands the realities of living together as husband and wife, unless one really goes through it. After our fights I find my parents were friendlier. My father is no more now and I find my mother missing him so badly- may be because of all the fights!?!-that she keeps saying she wants to die! In later years my father became extremely tolerant of my mother's rants. Also I find in my own marriage fights are coming down as age advances. I am still searching for a viable theory that could predict the incidence of fights between couples. John Gray or Allen Pease do not help much because of cultural divide. I feel it is an excellent topic for research- I mean useful research. It is my conjecture that one needs to build theories culture-wise.
• Garden Grove, California
7 Mar 10
ksmita my parents have been gone for years, but the one thing that 'both did that I deplored growing up was be overly cautious about everything making me scared to try new things. I outgrew this when I got to my late twenties but it sort of stick with me through most of my adult life. this is not a legacy you would want your own 'children to carry, Instead one should encourage children to try out new things and face new challenges.
7 Mar 10
Hey, I tell u something no one in this world is perfect. And a relationship sticks only when u compromise in those short comings. Just like u said there are some things which i dont like in my parents. But there are so many things which i like about them. So i have no complaints at all. Well as an adult i would love to develop the skills which my father has as a businessman. I want to be a person who is smart and tactful like my dad and composed and confident like my mom. Cheers, Tutul