Do You Feel that the Smarter You are the Less Friends You Have?

United States
March 10, 2010 12:28pm CST
Being smart was never a hinderance to me, because I was pretty popular, however nowadays, I am hearing many beautiful girls who feel that being smart means that you will have less friends and be shunned at school. I am surprised that this is a concern. I try to make light of it by saying all the smart people will have all the cool people working for them, but when it is a young person they rarely believe that when people are singling them out and calling them a nerd or they sit home on friday nights instead of going out on dates. So what would you think of a situation like this.
16 responses
@madteaparty (2762)
• Japan
11 Mar 10
I don't know how did this start, but it's true that usually smart kids are looked down on school, as if being smart was like a disease, and that's why they usually have little friends or no friends. I understand that this is a concern. We shouldn't be afraid of being smart, as this is a good quality, and I don't understand how kids see that as something bad.
• United States
14 Mar 10
I agree with you. Thank you
@jambi462 (4598)
• United States
11 Mar 10
I don't really think that the smarter you are the less friends you will have but people do tend to get jealous pretty easily. We all exceed at something and we have to realize that there's always going to be someone that is better then us at something. In school a lot of kids try to act like they aren't as smart as they really are because it's apparently not cool to want to learn or read anymore. Without learning though and the desire for knowledge we would have never made a lot of the greatest discoveries that we have come to find today. The world needs smart people that want to get smarter to help better develop schools, medicine, jobs, and plenty of other topics that can help improve the world.
• United States
14 Mar 10
This is exactly what I meant when I said this thank you for your input.
@sasalove (1710)
• China
11 Mar 10
That is a funny question. I think you are talking about the relationship on the emotional quotient and the intelligence quotient. There are evidence to show that Albert Einstein is not close to his friends when he is young. I think maybe he is too smart to communicate with their peers. If you are sharp in one area, the other area is weak. I think there is scientific reason for that. But it is hard to say who is smarter. Do it evaluate it based on the intelligence quotient? I have doubt about that.
• United States
14 Mar 10
I am truly not sure, but the complaint is usually that girls have trouble making friends when they are smarter, no matter whether they are prettier or not, in fact some truly will try to hide the fact that they are smart in order to make friends.
@ksmita (515)
• India
11 Mar 10
hi. may be yes. i always felt that just because i prefer to talk on serious issues , people avoided talking to me..i guess they enjoyed lighthearted talk in which i failed. people make friends purely based on the fact that they should be comfortable talking to them.
• United States
11 Mar 10
That is certainly a point I was making. Thank you!
@Lochoa (222)
• United States
10 Mar 10
It really just depends b/c I would consider myself a smart person but not a teachrs pet or a nerd or anything. I've always gotten above average in high school and college but I still like to hang out and have a good time. others I know where real nerdy and all that so no they didn't have a lot of friends. I wasn't so I had a lt of friends. Not sure if this is what you may be referring to but this has been my situation.
• United States
11 Mar 10
I think you are absolutely right because I too was not nerdy but very smart. I also did not have a problem with friends
@slovenc1 (2092)
• Slovenia
10 Mar 10
I don't think that being smart can be determined by how much you learn because you can be smart but lazy to learn or not smart and can learn everything by heart. Being alone on friday doesn't have anything to do with being smart because smart people go out two and those who stay at home lack in self esteem because of looks or are just lazy. However i do think being smart can be a bit annoying because you want to do everything better and in best way you possibly can and friends don't like to be outsmarted or take you seriously in my experience.
• United States
11 Mar 10
Interesting view of this.
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
11 Mar 10
I think it's the smart people who also have a superiority complex that have the harder time making friends. Sometimes very intelligent people can have very off putting personalities because they really do think being intelligent makes them better than other people and that's what isolates them. I do think that sometimes smart people have to learn how to connect with people on other levels though. A smart person and a not so smart person can still be friends, they just have to search a little harder for their 'sames'. And just because one person has a higher IQ doesn't mean they aren't there!
@cupkitties (7294)
• United States
11 Mar 10
Thats sort of true but not exactly. I met plenty of people in school who were very bright and also very popular and there were some students that while also just as smart were constantly picked on. The difference between the two was their attitude and the way they interacted with others and sometimes what they had to deal with at home away from school. The popular smart kids were out going, stylish and you could understand them. The others usually had parents who were very hard on them so they feel stressed to try and be perfect, they're anti social sometimes, push other people away that tries to get to know them and sometimes they have to complicate things by speaking in nerdanese. Not saying thats all their fault just showing the dfferences and why of course.
@krisnel (498)
• Philippines
11 Mar 10
it depends on the character of the person who is smart if he or she want to mingle with other people. some smart people choose to be alone or they are ignored by some people because of being intelligent. those who ignored them think that they are boring persons that could talk about what they know. there are also some smart people that have a lot of friends, this type of smart person can interact with different kinds of people. he or she will never think that they are on the highest level.
@umit_umit (1986)
• India
11 Mar 10
well I beleieve you are smart you are!its very good for you and your family!of course not by hurting anybodys feelings,dam care what people will think?
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
11 Mar 10
Sometimes feeling smart is not always fun. Often friends are intimidated by being around others who are smarter. Friendship isn't a contest to win. Intelligence should not be a factor of true friendship.
@HelloMickey (1663)
• Hong Kong
11 Mar 10
Let's see if you use your brightness and intelligence in the right place, if not it only means you offend or annoy somebody, especially by getting involved in something that is not your responsibility. I think people are really smart would know how to do from the crowd and also gain friendship.
@caloyie (40)
11 Mar 10
Friends are not being counted on what you have but of what you are. Being smart actually is like becoming a magnet and get to attract a lot of friends because you are of sense to talk with. You being smart doesn't follow that you are having less friends but maybe less of their kind. Those people who do not befriend with smart people because they are smart are actually insecure. They do not want to get runned off and get their butt kicked in the battle of the so called POPULARITY.
@kaylachan (4776)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
11 Mar 10
Saddly thats is how the world tends to work. Many people are led to believe that smarts won't get them anywhere because they feel they litterly have nothing else to offer. Most people think appearance is everything and its not. I am smart, and I don't have many friends, but I refuse to be steryotypical so I'm not popular. but popularity wouldn't nesserally get me anywhere either. I would rather remain true to myself. Forget anything else for the moment.
@hofferp (4739)
• United States
11 Mar 10
I was pretty smart in school...and pretty popular in school. I don't think because you're smart, you'll be less popular or have less friends. There are other factors that play in...if you're smart and shy, the shyness plays more of a factor. If you're smart and arrogant, the arrogance plays more of a factor. If you're smart and a smart-a**, your smart-a** plays more of a factor. If you're smart, witty, friendly, kind...guess what, you'll be a smart person with lots of friends, who love you because you're smart, witty, friendly, kind, etc.
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
10 Mar 10
I think that you can be smart and have a lot of friends at the same time. Being smart means not to let anybody take you for a ride. That you can stand up for your rights. Being smart means that you excel in your work or in your studies. I think that whoever possess such qualities will have a lot of admirers in life. Thus he or she can have more friends in life. I fail to understand why smart people might have less friends.