Why do we sometimes feel bad even when we know we've done the right thing?

India
March 10, 2010 9:30pm CST
Dear members, We all make mistakes. We repent for it once we realize it. We resent our decision either secretly or openly. We regret being so rush and not doing the right thing. This feeling lasts for sometime before we finally forgive ourselves and learn from it. Then we move on. These are the process we generally follow after making a mistake. But have you ever felt sorry even after doing nothing wrong? Did you feel sorry for someone even after doing the right thing? I did. Believe me dear, its more difficult to get yourself out of such feelings. You haven't actually done anything wrong. But its probably your sense of justice that has hurt people. Its not the wrong decision, but the right one that made you sad. Did you ever felt that justice is colliding violently with humanity? I did. What do you think about such feelings? How do you define this and get over? Please share your views on this. Thanks in advance for your responses God bless you all
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13 responses
@rmuxagirl (7562)
• United States
14 Mar 10
There are times when we feel bad bout doing something right because the right thing sometimes hurt someone you love. Its hard to hurt people that you love even if it is the right thing.
• India
15 Mar 10
Hi, I completely agree. There are situations when you have to hurt someone you don't know in order to do the right thing. But this is not the ones that make us feel bad. In situations like these we often act indifferently. But when our decisions, even if they are justified, hurts someone we love, we get hurt too in the process. Thanks so much for the contribution. God bless you
• India
12 Mar 10
i fill right when i do reght work.
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• India
12 Mar 10
Hello prasenjit, Yes, but the real struggle with your senses and within yourself. Right? You reason yourself to stay strong. You ask yourself to wait and endure it until everything subsides. Thanks so much for responding to this discussion God bless you
• India
12 Mar 10
no i am not feel bad beacuse i am happy all time.
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• India
12 Mar 10
Hello, Prasenjit Welcome to myLot Thanks so much for your brief well-thought response God bless you. Happy myLotting
@myzire72 (1157)
• Singapore
12 Mar 10
Come to think of it, aren't we sometimes too obsessed with being the nice guy or nice gal? We strive to be popular and well-liked by people. But sometimes we do it at the expense of our feelings and convenience. That's why there are books out there that teach people how to say NO. Well, if you think you have done the right thing, then move on, including your emotions.
• India
12 Mar 10
Hi, Even though you put that amorous part aside, there are other things you do when you make justice. It is not possible to have justice without hurting someone. It is not possible to gain something without being the cause of loss of some other. This is where it hurts a lot. The feeling of course, is not ever lasting, as you are clean to your own conscience. It is one of those moments where humanity clashes with divinity. Thanks so much for this response God bless you
• Estonia
11 Mar 10
I've also encountered the similar feeling. I know I have done everything right and nothing wrong, but still, something remains troubling me deep inside my heart. Perhaps it's because I feel guilty for not giving everything I could, although I have done that. In these cases I just try to call myself down and cheer up, telling myself that "There just was no other option. It's kind of force majeure.
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• India
12 Mar 10
Hi, Well actually it is similar to guilt but the feeling is somewhat different. Its probably because we know that in order to do justice somebody got hurt which we didn't want in first place. But there was not other alternative. There seldom is any other alternative in the way of justice. Thanks for your participation. God bless you
@machivado (529)
• Indonesia
11 Mar 10
I have experienced that as well...and I don't want to do that again. Now, I believe that love or should I say affection is more important than justice itself. Right now the image of justice seems blurry to me. So love it is then.
• India
11 Mar 10
Hello, We, as human beings have some limitations both in planning and execution. We, as long as we are being ignorant will have contradictions in our thoughts. There is no way we can deny it. But once we rise above the mundane affairs and put ourselves on an indifferent basement, decision making becomes easier. Justice is given only if you remain unaffected and unbiased, which is really a difficult thing to accomplish. Thanks so much for your response God bless you
@bestylish (923)
• Philippines
11 Mar 10
In my opinion, we feel bad because we feel guilty for making the other person hurt. I guess that is the reason.
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• India
11 Mar 10
Yes dear, You said it quite right. The reason we feel bad is because our decision hurts others. Though we knew it was the right thing to do, still we can't stand others being hurt in the process. Thanks so much for this response God bless you
@ladyhaly (92)
• Philippines
11 Mar 10
I only feel that way when I know doing the right thing has has somebody else's feelings--- usually somebody I care about... But... Truthfully, I believe I'm a naturally caring person so even if a person isn't really my friend, I still feel bad. I just don't like it when people get hurt... As for getting over the feeling... I don't. I just hide the feelings and wait for them to subside or disappear--- but sometimes, when time doesn't fix everything, then I really don't get over it. In any case, I just bear in mind the reason why I did the right thing and try to be satisfied with it.
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• India
11 Mar 10
Hi ladyhaly, Yes, this thing happen when doing the right thing hurts somebody else. We have to wait as there is nothing much to do. The only way out of this remorse is by reasoning yourself. Thanks so much for your valued participation. Welcome to myLot God bless you
@vandana7 (67683)
• India
11 Mar 10
Hi bro, what you experienced is part of growing up. :) When we are young, rights are wrongs are confined to certain types of rights and wrongs. As we grow up, we realize more rights and wrongs, and then come the complex decisions, something that seems right at one time, and wrong at another time, right with one individual, wrong with another individual. I too am at this stage, so I cannot tell you what lies beyond. I can only say rights and wrongs as we were taught are not always so. They blurr. We had the case of Bhishma and Karna in Mahabharata. They sided wrong, knowing fully well they were fighting for wrong. We still admire them. On the contrary, Vibhishana, when he defied to side right is not admired! Vikarna if I remember right, the only Kaurav who left the scene when Draupadi was being undraped is not even remembered! Not much written about that son of Gandhari, who could've been spared and given half the kingdom. It all boils down to fewer rules that need to be followed. Karna gratefulness, Bhishma allegiance to kingdom rather than who is seated on throne, Drona, allegiance to master - the one who pays monies for livelihood. Remember, Shailya, Madri's husband was on the opposite end to his own nephews. So beyond a level, there are no rights and wrongs, only dharma. Moksha can only be obtained by following that I suppose.
• India
11 Mar 10
Hello, Yes, you are quite right. Though I once reached far beyond this dilemma, I think there is always a risk of getting distracted as long as you are IN it. Living in a dusty room without getting dirty is somewhat impossible. There is a stage where everyone can be considered a saint, [i]Gyea sah Nityasanyashi yah na dwesthi na kanngkhati, Nirdwanda hi mahabawah sukhang bandhat pramuchyateh.[/i] A true saint should be free from all desire, and dilemma. Only who walks thus, free and alone, is shackled by none. Thanks so much for your response God bless you
• United States
11 Mar 10
Making a decision isn't easy, and doing what's right is hard. Goodjob on doing the right thing, because that is what matters. Nothing is really fair, you have to take the good with the bad. When you doubt if what you did was the wrong decision, remind yourself, what you're doing is the right thing to do. Goodluck :)
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• India
11 Mar 10
Hello frozenfire, I really don't know what to say here. You've said it all, yet you were so brief. There is nothing I can add to it. Yes, we have to always remember that whatever we did was just the right thing to do at that moment. Thanks so much for dropping by. God bless you
@arunmails (3013)
• India
11 Mar 10
[b]Its all because of Love and affection. We do and we say the right.. but, if the person who we love cannot able to accept it, then we make some harsh movement to do that right.. In his/her view, it may be wrong... we do not understand that we move on with our decision... Later we think that we might have not done and we feel sorry for that.. So, we accept our mistake, by not understanding their feelings.. Our decision may be right, in-spite of love and affection, we accept that it is wrong... Only that Love and Affection still holds the world... and nothing else...[/b]
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• India
11 Mar 10
Hello, What I do in first place is that I try to be clear with myself. I first make sure whether the things I am doing abides by the rules of God. If I am keeping somebody from hurting himself in future, it seems perfectly all right. But there is always some hard feelings hidden inside, which becomes unbearable for the time being. Thanks so much for this response. God bless you
@creationhub (3068)
• Malaysia
11 Mar 10
There is a saying - the truth hurts. We mostly think that truth hurts the other party. Actually, it hurts us too. I have been into experiences where I had to say no or to respond in a way that is unexpected by the other party. Some of them are not pleasant but in the long run, I do see results in a positive manner.
• India
11 Mar 10
Hi, I think this is your very first participation in one of my discussions. I really appreciate your contribution here. I absolutely agree to that. When we hurt others we invariably hurt ourselves in the process. Though we do it with certain convictions but no matter how strong we are, it becomes unbearable for certain moments. God bless you
• Bangladesh
17 Mar 10
Hi friend, Sometimes we feel sorry even after carrying out justice. This happens to those who are too much humanistic. We don't like to hurt people anyway. It's very hard to do the right thing without disheartening someone. It's unavoidable. Have a nice day.
• India
6 Apr 10
Hi, very true. Sometimes when people get hurt in the process, we feel sad about it. Its not that we don't appreciate justice, but when people suffer, even for their mistakes, it feels awkward. Thanks so much for your response. God bless you
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