Do people irritate you easier now then before?

@newtalent (1114)
United States
March 11, 2010 6:05am CST
I have a couple friends that all I have to do is just look at the phone and basically "look drama is calling."I mean I am getting highly annoyed where a simple conversation turns into dramatic event from a TV series or something. Its funny and sad at the same time because I or we will not say more that a couple or words when we answer the phone and they are just talking, whining, away... It's to the point where I screen my calls or just let it go to voice mail. I am an easygoing person but, if cannot deal with life then change it. They are great friends and all but lately, their just too repetitive for me. I need a vacation, lol. Do you guys any friends like this?
4 responses
@sunkernjs (219)
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
First let me define the word for you. A friend in a person whom one knows, likes and trusts, an acquaintance, whom one is allied in struggle or cause. a comrade. A person known well to another and regarded with liking. Now, going back to your case do you really see them as a person you only know or like you must support them anytime when they need your love. If you are a true friend despite the repetitiveness you must always be with them because you are friends.
@newtalent (1114)
• United States
14 Mar 10
Friends are usually friends for a good long time if the space maintained. Friends cannot over take your family which should be the number one priority, at least in my book anyway. I cannot tell my child that wants something or needs my emotional support to hold it is not your turn right because my friends need me. That has been the problem lately. These guys will call constantly, if we do not answer, they will drop by unannounced almost every night and make me feel uncomfortable in my home. The complaints are the same, the voicing of their problems gets louder ( like they are the center of attention). I cannot help a person that cannot help themselves. For instance one person is in and out jail because he cannot complete probation. Its the whole worlds fault that he cannot complete it. He cannot get a job to pay the fees so he is back in because he cannot pay the fines because of his charges. Hanging out at my house complaining is not going to get him a job. I cannot pay nor will I because I owe money myself that I am trying to pay. But I do not commit fraud, steal, or blame everyone else for my problems, I caused them therefore I have to find a solution to fix them. I get irritated when people , friends think you should have answers or be able to finance their their problems. I have one friend that needs financial help and that person is doing everything she can to rectify her problem without resorting to committing a crime to get the help. The other two just will not help themselves. Being at my house will not pay your bills, will not put food on your table everyday, or make your problems go away. I felt sorry for them but now I am so irritated that I have to adjust my schedule to almost avoid them. Is that fair to me or my family? I will help if I can but I cannot do it for you. I will listen but only for so long if it is the same old crap. But I understand what you are saying. Honestly, would you want to finance their lifestyle, feed them without the person doing anything to help themselves, and listens to them constantly complaining, whining, and screaming at you because the world is unfair and give them a break day in and day out? I have had enough already,. Thank you for responding and listening to my dilemma.
• United States
14 Mar 10
That person doesn't sound like a friend. Sounds like a "hanger-on" that is only dragging you down emotionally. Step back from the situation & ask yourself why you are in this friendship. Do you enjoy each other's company? Are you there for each other? ... & note I said each other.. not a one-way street. Do you have a lot in common? If you can't really think of any reasons why you think this person is a friend then why waste your emotional energy? On the other hand, if this is a friend, then listening & enduring the constant whining may be part of the friendship. Some relationships are like that. They find a common ground by being the enabler.
• Philippines
12 Mar 10
it happened if you've been talking to that person everyday for many years to the point of that you already lost of words to say as if you already talk everything. and so what happened is you talk even the simply show in the television just to have something to talk with. before, as unlike before that we are so excited to talk to them coz still have a lot of things to know and talk to each other. thats why it is still important to just have a break for a couple of days before talking to any of them again to recharge and have some new things to talk about life that happened while one of you are out.
@newtalent (1114)
• United States
12 Mar 10
I may have to do that. Taking a break from the same old routine. Maybe that will work. I need to try something. Explaining it is not working. I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings especially when they are stressing, but sometimes you just have to be honest. It probably would not be so bad if it was not the same conversation over and over again, like you said. Thanks.
@phoenix8606 (4978)
11 Mar 10
hi! NO, they don't irritate me easier then years ago for example, i even become more "powerful" :) and don't get irritated that easy as when I was at school.maybe because my psyche now is really much much stronger than in the time I was younger!
@newtalent (1114)
• United States
12 Mar 10
That's good. Maybe my next suggestion will be to go see a mental health counselor so they can bounce off their problems and find solutions to their problems on their own. It takes a lot of energy to deal with some of these issues. Friends are great but repetitive complaining about the same things is not good for anyone in my book. I have been hinting so maybe I will be blunt about it now. My mental health is important and don't want to get caught up in this type of cycle that i am not used to. Thanks.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
11 Mar 10
Now your talking. I thought there was something wrong with me, when i just roll my eyes towards heaven in cases like this. For some reason my friends are really trying my patients, but that is life. What can we say?
@newtalent (1114)
• United States
12 Mar 10
Yeah , I really do not think they are trying to do it on purpose. Its like you can only complain so much or at least I thought. I try to to be vocal about it but it seems like I am talking to the wall or something, lol. My child listens to directions better than some of these adults. It was funny at first but now its just getting on my nerves to hear the same old stuff, so I just let it go to voice mail. They still have no clue. Thanks for the input.