Getting into a relationship when the other person has a child.......

United States
March 11, 2010 11:22am CST
Well, I know if I wrote this discussion ten years ago I would have a different response but it seems like it is hard now a days to find someone who does not have a child (well at least in America). So if you meet someone and they have a child, are you still likely to do date them, what is your opinion about it... I wouldn't say I am in a relationship but we are in a way. I have a guy friend that has a 9yr old daughter. She is cool and very mature for her age and we have become close. My friend doesn't talk to the mother at all so I don't have to worry about the "baby mama" drama. He gets her every weekend, so usually on the weekend all 3 of us hang out. She likes me and I have even started picking her up on the weekend. But sometimes she gets to me like in an annoying way and she has a slick mouth and I don't know what to say sometimes because since she isn't my child I don't want to come off the wrong way. We are suppose to go to a basketball game tomorrow night (me and the dad) and he wants to bring her which under normal circumstances I have no problem with, but she doesn't even like basketball and she won't even watch it on TV so I don't know how she is going to sit for 3hours in the arena and he doesn't understand this. I mean tickets are like $60 so that is money being thrown away for nothing. So I am kind of upset he doesn't see that but what can I say. The response I always get it "you don't have children so I don't understand"
2 people like this
9 responses
• India
11 Mar 10
What my relationship is always same but sentiment is changing thats all what to do the thinking of the people are changing thats why
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 10
Thanks for commenting!
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
11 Mar 10
The older we get, the odds are that more and more people in our age group will probably have been married or have kids. It can be tough can't it? I don't understand why he would get tickets to a game scheduled on the weekends when he has his daughter knowing that she is not interested in the game. I guess if he has already bought the tickets then there isn't much that can be done unless he sells them. As for this little girls mouth, well she is probably testing you. You really shouldn't try to discipline her as a parent and yet at the same time, you do not have to put up with disrespect from any kid whether she is your boyfriends daughter or not. I would say something to her firmly. If it continued then I would say something to her father.
• United States
11 Mar 10
It is tough.I am I believe I am young (23) and most people I went to high school with are already married or have kids. I don't have any problem with her going out with us or anything but the first game we went to he asked her if she wanted to go and she firmly said no. She won't even watch the game on TV so that is my point. Tomorrow is suppose to be the start to my weekend and I should be happy but the only thing I can think of is us going to the game and her being in my ear all night asking 353252532 questions.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
12 Mar 10
Does he say why he is so insistent that she comes with him if she really does not want to go? Seems it would make more sense to get a sitter for her while you guys are at the game. It seems like such a huge waste of money to bring her along and neither of you will get to actually enjoy the game.
• United States
12 Mar 10
IT seems like common sense right? But now he got angry about so we aren't going at all...go figure!
@cupkitties (6907)
• United States
12 Mar 10
Since I have children myself I imagine I'd be better off with someone who has children themselves because they'll understand what its like and probably be better able to handle things. I dated a childless man once and can't say I'll be doing that again.
• United States
12 Mar 10
Ahhh not the double posting!
@cupkitties (6907)
• United States
12 Mar 10
Since I have children myself I imagine I'd be better off with someone who has children themselves because they wouldn't understand what its like. I dated a childless man once and can't say I'll be doing that again unless he's had some kind of experience in dealing with kids.
• United States
12 Mar 10
Well what made the childless man so bad?
@dreamnishu (1253)
• China
11 Mar 10
Well i don't like to do dating with a man who has a child and wife. But if he doesn't have wife means he has only child then it's ok. But i will not go with him for dating. As i prefer unmarried person for dating.
• United States
11 Mar 10
Maybe you didn't understand my discussion. I was talking about someone who only has a child not a spouse. I would hope that someone wouldn't go out with someone who has a child and a spouse at home?
@CarmenA (129)
• United States
11 Mar 10
I don't know why men do not listen when we make perfect sense. It's nerve grading, is it not? I feel bad for you but maybe you all will have a good time anyway.. Just try to be postive I guess for your own sake. I bet it can be tough when she gets a slick mouth though. I wouldn't know how to handle it either. My bf has 5 kids!! And although I never really spend any time with them.. there's usually some bull with the baby mamas! They don't like the idea of him with someone else and he actually keeps it from 1 or 2 of them (4 different mamas ...yes, I know) and that sort of pisses me off. We've been together for 2 years..and why the heck does he care what they think? He talks to them on the phone..and I've heard him call them baby or sweetheart...oooh that ticks me off so bad.. When I tried to tell him it bothers me he got mad at ME! I just don't know about him sometimes. He has a daughter that lives in another state though and while he was visiting he told her about me and she didn't like that idea too much..she saw my number in his phone and erased it. And he's talking about her coming to visit us for the summer. I'm thinking this might not be so fun for me. Anyway.. good luck with everything!!!
• United States
11 Mar 10
At least your understand how I feel. Some kids just don't like the fact that their parents have moved on and is with someone else. In the beginning when I first met her dad I know she was craving the attention but once she saw me on a regular basis she became comfortable with me. I mean her mom is kind of low class and I think she kinds of knows it so she turns me to a lot to talk and stuff so that why it bothers me sometimes because I have became close to her. Why is your man still calling his ex's baby and sweethart? I would be totally paranoid. In my opinion, I would watch out. Now if the daughter comes to visit for the summer you gotta just not care and try to be nice to her to show her what kind of person you are. And then if she is still acting like a brat the dad needs to talk to her and be like look I am with this woman now and blah blah.
@phoenix8606 (4978)
11 Mar 10
hi! well, i really don't think that the child has something to o with the relationship, because as we all know love is blind :) and when the people lve each other truly no matter how old are they or how many kids they have from other marriages, they must share their feeling and be together. i know many people even the brother of my ex-girlfriend, which girlfriend has a 5 years old son, but he is with her, because he loves her and don't care about it. he even like the child and plays with it every time he has nothing to do!
• United States
11 Mar 10
Do you think it always seems that way? I mean I know it's different if the child was a baby, but what if they were older? Does age make a difference. And I know love is blind but does it really affect anything? Thanks for commenting!
@rmuxagirl (7568)
• United States
13 Mar 10
My boyfriend has 3 children and sure sometimes it makes it harder for us, but its work it. I let my boyfriend set the boundries and told them what I said they had to listen to. I love my boyfriend deary and part of him is his children, I cannot hold it against him or not be with him because of them. It does make it ard, but it also make sus be more creative and like I said its worth it.
@Ladyslipper (1330)
• Philippines
12 Mar 10
I have not tried dating someone who has a child but I have a lot of friends who are in a relationship or dating someone who has a child. I think it's okay as long as you're ready for the consequences. However, I believe the guy should also know the limitations on when to bring his child when you guys will be out on a date. It's okay to take his child with you sometimes so that you can get to know each other. However, it depends on the occassion. You can bring his child to an Ocean's Adventure Park for example or anywhere that both the child and you guys as an adult can enjoy. However, you should also have a time for just the two of you. It's important since it's also something that even a husband and wife should have (a time spent for just the two of them).