should i get her a ring first, should we wait til we're older?

United States
March 14, 2010 4:18am CST
hi im jon and im currently 16 turning 17 this year and was wondering if i should have a ring with me when i propose to my girl or should propose to her without one but promise her a good ring in the future? cause shes 15 and im 16 and i know its kind of a young age but we been together for a year and a half with no problems or anything at all and we're both in love and this is the first girl ever to treat me with respect unlike all my ex-girlfriends who just went out and cheated on me, but other then that her family loves me and thinks im more of a gentlemen then the rest of her boyfriends cause when i first met them i addressed them as ma'm or sir but after a year of knowing them i call them by there names now soo yeahhh should i wait til we're older so we know for sure that we're the right ones for eachother and i have a ring by that time or should i do it sometime soon without one? and what should i say to her father when i go to talk to him about it? or how can i get him alone to talk about it? thats the only thing im nervous about and im pretty sure my baby girl will say yes cause we both had pretty much made our decision on this and hopin to keep it that way til the day we die so please help.
2 people like this
9 responses
• China
23 Mar 10
HI dear jonny,i dont have qualification to judge whether your decision right or not,but something happened around me tell us that we should take all aspect into account,like as both parent,money which can afford our daily expense.
• South Africa
16 Mar 10
hi Jon, I was in the exact same situation you are in now, and my advice, is to take things slowly, My girlfriend & I were together for 4 years & it was also "Love", but trust me, once you guys finnish school & start experiencing life, things will change dramatically. My girlfriend left me a month after she finnished school. THe day after christmas do be exact!!! And their were no signs. she just suddenly decided she wants other things in life. which I have to respect though its kills me to do it. Just be who you are and keep dating her, Then see what happens in a couple of years. (AFTER SCHOOL) You know that 93% of highschool relationships never work out. But Hopefully it turns out different for you. Once again, Just take it Slow now & be carefull to hold on too tight. Regards, A similar situation
14 Mar 10
While it is a wonderful thing to feel so in love, I think you may be a little too young for such a big step. At your ages, you have the whole world at your feet and a lot of living to do, and it may well be that as you both grow a little older and mature more, you might feel a little different. If you are going to propose then I would be inclined to wait a little before spending out money on a ring hun.
@olisaur (1932)
• United States
14 Mar 10
Trust me, getting married at 16 will guarantee you a divorce or a contemplated divorce by the time you're 23. I've seen it too many times before. It's fantastic that you feel that way about a girlfriend- for now, just enjoy being your age. If you're still together in a couple of years, then you can think about getting engaged. And if it gets to that, I suggest a couple years worth of engagement.
@sushie93 (1359)
• France
14 Mar 10
It is cute and very lovely but 15/16 years it is very too munch young to thinking about mariage! I think you should wait for three years or more because one year it is nothing. You can regret it if you marry with her at a so young age....
@kgwat70 (13398)
• United States
14 Mar 10
I agree with the others that you should wait til you are older. You both are still very young and have a lot more to learn and experience before getting married. Marriage is a very serious thing and you both need to discuss your future plans and goals. I am sure her father will say the same thing about waiting longer before proposing. Do either of you have good and stable jobs? You too will need to discuss finances, having a family, and so much more. That is great that you two are in love and have not had any problems as of yet.
@trisha27 (3505)
• United States
14 Mar 10
I think that you should wait a bit longer to wait till you both are older and out of school and deciding what to do with your lives before making that huge step. Its so sweet that you are really looking to marry your girlfriend. But I think you should wait, have you even talked to your parents about it, or do you think your parents would be okay with it. I think, they'd probably would want to wait too. Just wait give it some time and don't rush into things. Wait till your older and see if you still want to do the same thing.
@p3ks626 (6552)
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
This is really cute. You are still in your teenage years and you are already thinking of getting engaged to your girlfriend. For me, you are still very young to engage is such serious things about life. I am not saying that it is a bad thing. It is actually normal for you to feel that way because of some raging hormones. If you are sure enough of what you are feeling for each other then you can actually work out for it for the next coming years. If you make commitment as early as now then it is also a huge responsibility. If things will not work out then you will end up breaking your hearts or even breaking yourself which is something I dont want to happen to you. Let me tell you about this guy I know who also had the same thing with you when he was still at your age. They were all serious about what they are feeling thinking that it was it and they are sure of ending up together in the future. After years of dating, things didnt actually turn out right between the two of them because the girl was not so into having a serious relationship with him when time passed by. He found out she already had a new boyfriend and she didnt really mind sleeping with men whom she's with. It turned out that the girl whom he thought was the rightful one for him turned out to be the person not worthy of him. I am not saying that this will also happen to you but all I'm trying to say is that you can always work out for what you want and take some precautions. That man is married now and he is really very happy about his life and thankful he didnt end up with that girl. He thought it was love that he felt before but it totally was just a very strong attraction. To tell you about that girl, she is still not married and she's living a life like her womanhood is not important and her values about morality is no more. Now she is trying to make contact with the guy again because she knew that she made a huge mistake and she's trying to destroy the marriage of his ex-boyfriend. Anyway, this is so long! Sorry for that. Sometimes its kinda boring to read posts as long as this but I do hope you learned from it and got what I mean.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
14 Mar 10
It is such a nice feeling beign in love. But really both of you are too young to even consider such a serious step. Why don't you give it another 2 to 3 years at least. See how far it goes in that time. I really hope you will reconsider this. TATA.