What to do when a friend always shows you the wrong way?

India
March 15, 2010 1:34pm CST
Hello dear members, I won't say that my friend is deliberately provoking me to do the wrong things. I know he is ignorant. Whom should I rely upon? Almost everybody I meet is dipped into lust and avarice. I shouldn't expect that they will show me the right path. I don't. But it really hurts when the best of one's friends asks one to forsake one's righteous path and to be as them. Have you ever faced such a situation, when your closest ones look as if they are the real adversities you have to overcome? Have you ever felt that your friend is a burden that will sink your soul to darkest abyss? Have you ever been mislead by a friend? Have you ever been the victim of induction of ignorance? What to do with such friends? Do we scrap them? Or, forgive them until they finally bury you alive in hell? Thanks in advance for your response God bless you all
4 people like this
16 responses
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
16 Mar 10
Hi getbiswa, I haven't had this sort of issue since I was a kid. Even then if a friend of mine came up with an idea to do something that I knew was wrong and I went along with it, it was never the fault of my friends. On some level I really wanted to do whatever it was also. If your friend comes up with a plan and you don't want to go along with it because in your heart you know it's wrong then just say no. You don't have to give up the friendship over it. Just don't go along when he's doing dumb stuff.
1 person likes this
• India
17 Mar 10
Hi, Bad things always have greater attraction than good things. Bad things are thrilling, advantageous. It is quite easy to fall for bad things. Sticking to your principles even staying with the bad for years is difficult to accomplish. If you are staying in a coal mine, you can't avoid the dirt for long. It is not that I have not tried to change it and reverse the influence. But some people have more negative energy than we can possibly handle. I can't let it take me. Thanks so much for this response God bless you
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
17 Mar 10
maybe you should change up your friends if you are so easily influenced. I don't know...I'm not you so I can't make that choice for you. I only know that I have friends from all walks of life and some do things that I'd never consider doing. I just don't join in and we are still friends. we don't judge each other. they are who they are and I am who I am.
1 person likes this
• India
17 Mar 10
LOL I am not that gullible. Its just that it hurts when your friend tries to provoke you that way even knowing that that is not the right direction. It seems quite intentional sometimes. Probably you know the feeling.
@HelloMickey (1663)
• Hong Kong
16 Mar 10
They can mislead you, if you can afford the time and your energy on them, you can lead them to a right path as well. If you think you are right, and if you think they worth your time, you should tell them what you think is right, let them choose what they want, make your stand very clear to them. My husband has a friend who has a very negative thinking, but my husband is not affected by him, even they always have very different set of thinkings, they are really close friend to each other, his friend would never ask my husband to act like him, but he would tell how sad when he faced his problems (the problems caused by his wrong acts). But in reality we should always pay attention, we should not be used/get involved in any criminal acts, even they are our friends.
1 person likes this
• India
16 Mar 10
Hello, Criminal acts, offenses are less dangerous and harmful than deterioration of moral. Pardon my saying this, but if someone stays with such people for too long, he will get mislead someday for sure. If your husband is strong enough that necessarily means that he is refueling his energy from you or some other very positive minded friends. Negative thinkers always suck energy from others. There is no doubt about that. You are being a great support to your husband, a constant source of positive energy. I have none to support me except myself. I support myself, mentally and morally. I know its little bit difficult to be the source of your own energy, but I am satisfied with the way I do it. It gives me a sense of completion. Thanks so much for such a wonderful response God bless you
• Hong Kong
16 Mar 10
Hello getbiswa2000 I think my husband is the one who is refueling my energy, but I am not a negative thinker, I am just taking a more optimistic view, so lucky me that not so many people can suck my energy. You are right, if stay with such people will get mislead someday. Fortunately, my husband and the friend I mentioned do not meet so often, maybe twice in a year. Hope the affection from the friend about the bad things can be reduced.
1 person likes this
• India
16 Mar 10
You are so lucky dear. I am so happy for you. God bless both of you Thanks so much for your contribution here.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
hello dear, If you think your friends are leading you into wrong way,(path way to hell),then,why you were still with them? Friends are people whom we can call our best buddy,next to our family. Some friends were even closer to us more than our family. But,if you think those people whom you call your friend were leading you into damnation,you better have to think twice wether to continue having relationship with them. Friends are those who we asks advices when we are in trouble,but we should not rely our life to our friends. And,never let bad company(friends) direct your life. I won't stay with people doing bad/wrong things,even if they are my friends. I had my life to lead on,to direct and follow the right path which i think will lead me to a good life. My friends can direct their lives to where they want to lead to. They can give me advice,and i can give them advices too...i will listen to them,but it doesn't mean i will follow every direction they'll show me. There are two kinds of friends...good and bad. Make your choice,as how you want your life would be like.
1 person likes this
• India
17 Mar 10
Hi MJ, You know there is a first time of everything. I tolerate things as long as it is within my tolerance limit. I endure and say nothing as there are not many things that can hurt me easily. But once it is beyond that certain limit it starts ailing me. They way people try to mislead others just to have their own deeds justified and generalized, disgusts me. I know now what I have to do. Thanks so much for your response. God bless you
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
17 Mar 10
dear, wish this time it's not a mistake uhmnn,making up with the last humor (just kidding na) there is a proverbs saying "do not let blind(friends) lead you,or else,both of you will fall into a ditch"
@LadyMarissa (12161)
• United States
16 Mar 10
The ONLY ignorance I'm seeing here is somebody feigning to be a victim!!! You seem to be intelligent enough to know right from wrong!!! You can ONLY be a victim if you ALLOW yourself to be. Your friend can only walk you to the gate of the abyss, he CANNOT make you enter!!! I think you want to do some of the things your friends are provoking you to do, but you NEED to blame them so it won't be YOUR fault!!! You have CHOICES in your life. You can choose to do what is right or you can choose to jump into hell behind your friends. If you choose the latter, do NOT blame your friends as it was YOUR choice!!! Your friends CANNOT bury you alive in hell. However, you can FOLLOW them there!!! You sound strong enough to NOT be provoked by your friends. . Choose the path that you are going to take & STOP blaming your friends!!!
• Hong Kong
16 Mar 10
Agree with you, friends can only walk you to the gate of the abyss but people enter it only because they chose to do it. I think leave the friends you despised otherwise you are misleaded and chose the wrong path, if anyone's to blame, it's you.
• India
16 Mar 10
I absolutely agree to both of you. There is no use blaming the surrounding. If I can't withstand it, the problem is entirely mine. It is in those weak moments that we get provoked by others. No matter how difficult the situation seems, we have to be strong from inside and stick to our principle with a conviction. Thanks so much for your response. God bless you
• United States
16 Mar 10
I have never been lead anywhere! Even as a child I would say no and mean it and I was and I still am stubborn enough to stand my ground.If this friend is pressuring you to do bad things , he/ she isn't a True friend.A true friend supports Your decisions ,not tries to get you to do what They want you to do.
1 person likes this
• Hong Kong
16 Mar 10
You are very strong that you knew this philosophy of friends when you were a child. I didn't do anything wrong when I were a child only because I always consulted my parents first.
1 person likes this
• India
16 Mar 10
I didn't say that I did something. I just implied that a friend whom you trust the most can try to lead you to something, or may try to induce or provoke and that surely is not what anyone would expect from a friend. I completely agree with what Sarah said here. These people can't be friends. They are just indifferent self centered people having a parasitic relationship. Thanks for your response God bless you
1 person likes this
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
16 Mar 10
to deal with this problem do it your way.you don,t need your friends approval to deal with problems thats why god gave you a brain.listen what they have to say but use your on standred on how you want to deal with problems.good luck
1 person likes this
• India
17 Mar 10
Hi Annjilena, Thanks so much for your advice. God bless you
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
when your friend provoked you to do wrong things, don't be afraid to let him/her know your feelings about doing it. let your friend know that it is wrong. he/she might not know that it is not an appropriate thing to do. so better open it up to him/her first before doing anything else. if your friend still thinks it is right, then use your judgment call...
• India
17 Mar 10
Really great response. I needed that. But we had a few discussions about his life style. I think its totally beyond his control. He has allowed himself to be undisciplined to such an extent that he can't rein it even if he wants to. When he repents for doing something wrong, I know now that it is just an acting. But when he resents not having some material pleasure, I immediately know that is sincere. Thanks so much for your response dear. Happy myLotting God bless you
@amijor (234)
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
First, I think we must have a clear divide of who we should consider as acquaintances and friends. We should also have a checklist of qualities that we should look for in a person before we consider them as a friend. It's not as if we are being picky. We just want to make sure that whoever we invest our trust on should deserve it. If the people who you consider as friends lead you to sin then think twice about what they really are to you. Remember it is your own call whether you'll fall to sin irregardless of who influenced you.
1 person likes this
• India
17 Mar 10
Hello, I completely agree with you on that. There is a discrimination of some kind that becomes necessary here. It is not applicable for the people whom we don't know or not connected to. But those who are attached to us can influence us in the long run. Even if we are strong enough to move along with all these burdens, they surely does slow down our growth, both mental and moral. Thanks so much for this wonderful response God bless you
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
friends are supposed to be bringing you on the right path not the wrong one. If you feel like it is the opposite, there is no doubt that you have to leave them. It is better to be alone than to be with the ones who will put you on trouble. Afterall, they are not real.
1 person likes this
• India
17 Mar 10
Hello Sharliones, I completely agree with you. Its better to get rid of those fellas who are trying to harm my morale just in order to have my strength reduced to their levels. Thanks so much for your thoughtful response God bless you
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
for me i will tell him the truth,that i dont like her...........i can have many of frnds them why i spent my time for him.
1 person likes this
• India
16 Mar 10
Hello, Yes, there is no need to spend time for him. Some care should be taken while your mind is still immature. Once it become invincible there is no need for a fence. It will grow with infinite strength. But until then one need to avoid bad influences. thanks so much for such a nice response [red]God bless you[/red]
@mhaibless (210)
• United States
16 Mar 10
Tell your friend right away. The decisions are all yours. No matter how bad or good your friend is, you are still the one who decides whats good for you. You can tell yourself if you are with a good or bad friend. If you think you are with a bad friend, then better change your friend. Have a great choice in making friends.
• India
16 Mar 10
Hi, You know something, a disease only attacks at the time when you are the least immune. Behind the virtues we boast of, we all have vulnerabilities. Only a few persons in this world has achieved freedom from all such weaknesses. Now a bad thing will surely try to have bad influences on you, but the worst thing strikes you when you are having one of those weakest moments, so that the blow is more effective. I haven't so far seen a single person who in spite of staying in bad influence for long has surpassed it all. Any mortal person will always be influenced by his environment. Until one is not invincible one should avoid the negative influences. Thanks so much for your response God bless you
@1hopefulman (31632)
• Canada
16 Mar 10
If someone who is your friend is misleading you then they are not really your friend are they? A friend is someone who wants the best for you. One that you can trust. It doesn't seem to be the case with the one you mention. Maybe it's time to make wiser choice when it comes to who will be your friend. Here is some wise old advice: Proverbs 13:20 (New International Version) He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.
1 person likes this
• India
16 Mar 10
That was very practical and wise response. I really needed that. I really appreciate your contribution. God bless you
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 10
well if i have one like that, i would slowly abandon him/ her. it is obvious that this friend just make me worst than before, i need a friend that can tell me whether if i am wrong or right, and stood beside me if there was somebody against me. just find another one, this one give you a lesson to make a wise choose which one that deserve to take as a friend and which one who does not.
1 person likes this
• India
16 Mar 10
Hello, I couldn't agree more. Well I don't think I need friends that much. There are two kinds of people, good human beings and friends. Now, if one doesn't have a friend he must be satisfied with good human beings only. Friendship is welcoming until its potentially harming your morale. Thanks so much for your response God bless you
@busybee10 (3191)
• India
15 Mar 10
Friends, friends,friends...... yes to get a friend is nice. We make friends with several people - but we filter, filter and filter,wherein the residue of friendship is left over and being with these friends of a good period of time gives us an estimation about their nature. Friends are the people who are of great help to us in our life. But friends who trouble us or try to lead us in a wrong path should be eliminated without hesitation. This act gives you lot of relief and will not be a friend of stress.
1 person likes this
• India
16 Mar 10
Hello there, I completely agree with you. But something is more important than elimination. I mean, if you have a diseased limb, amputation would be your last resort. We have to ensure first that we are strong enough to deal with those adversities, to withstand the bad influences. It is true though that if a man stays in bad environment he will someday become a part of it. Thanks so much for your insight God bless you
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
6 Apr 10
Hi, getbiswa2000. If I was you, I would cut off all communication with this friend until they get their act together. You should not have to be forced to do something that is against your own willpower. Talk to this friend and tell him that you refuse to be his subjected to his cruelty. I do hope that your point will get cross him the right way.
• India
6 Apr 10
Hi, I indeed, temporarily cut off the communication. Then I kinda processed my mind. I didn't get back in the relationship until I made sure that I will remain unaffected by any future disruption as such. Thanks so much for your contribution. God bless you
@umit_umit (1986)
• India
16 Mar 10
its very true provokation leads to mess and one loose ones patience and do all kind of wrong things!and the other is happy at this!and take the advantage of your weakness!