how do you handle conflicts with your friend(s)??

Philippines
March 16, 2010 7:45am CST
i'm having a little uhh... conflict with a friend ... this is the first time we've been into a little fight since the 4-6 years we've been together in the group ... i won't tell you the whole story coz i wanna keep this between our group ... but my question is ... what is the best approach to talk to him without triggering any greater conflicts?? (btw this is not the friend that i've been mentioning in my other posts ... the one who's been helping me in my situation) ... ... suggestions??
8 responses
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
I had a misunderstanding with one of my closest friends way back in college. She got upset when I did not accompany her to have lunch with her.But, it wasn't my intention to leave her behind. I just need to go home at the time.And so, she gave a cold treatment. A petty misunderstanding but it took us a few days i think. Ahm, we managed to reconcile during our school retreat. Good thing, we had our retreat. We just smiled and hugged each other. She even cried at that time. Going back to the question, my way of making up with a friend is letting it heal for a time and then humble yourself to apologize whether who's fault it was.Oh what a memory. Thanks for this discussion.
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
oh wow ... i'm glad for you ... i'm hoping for a reconcilement myself -^^-
@sunkernjs (219)
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
When conflicts arise between my friends I see to it that I am not bias. I spend time listening to each of their side. I first assess their emotions then i explore their flings about what had happened. I usually end up giving them time to think. I teach them how to be humble and forget about pride.Pride will only make the situation worst and both parties will have difficulty understanding each other. Make sure respect is not left behind. Anything we do and before we act respect must come first in other for other to respect you also.
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
so i suppose listening is the best thing to do ... followed by understanding...?? i'll try that ... i hope it works
@airakumar (1555)
• India
26 Mar 10
Well, friends are very important part of life and sometimes conflict is bound to happen. Sometimes it comes out of the blue and other times it has been brewing for a while. When the situation finally comes to a head and you’ve got to respond, your reaction makes all the difference. You don’t want to roll over but you don’t want to be rolled on. Fighting with friends is tough all around. We often say things we don't mean and feelings get hurt. Occasionally, no one wants to admit they were wrong and no one wants to apologize; it seems as though the situation is beyond repair. There are many ways to resolve conflicts with friends. Listen well. Give each other respect. Without first respecting your friend, it is unlikely that the conflict will be resolved amicably. Give each other space. When the conflict has become too heated, walk away. Give each other time. Time to cool off will help all parties involved think things over in a rational manner. Respect each other's space and time. Everybody's different. Your friend may need a week before he is ready to resolve the conflict and you may need only a day. Give him the time he needs. Communicate. Not talking only makes matters worse. Periodically contact your friend to let her know that you still care about her.
@lhadie (33)
• Philippines
17 Mar 10
Everything comes with humility leads to peace. Just be humble in accepting your mistake(if your the one who committed it) or just approach her and ask her what's wrong with both you. As her, what made her mad at you or tell her the reasons also why you got hurt becoz of her. I think open communication is all what you need and right approach...
@champan (513)
• Argentina
17 Mar 10
It depends on the conflict itself. If i have different ideas about something , maybe i take a day to thnik , to be more quiet and then discuss, argue, whatever. The thing i cant let pass is a lie. I just cant forgive that.
@clipsal (160)
• Malaysia
17 Mar 10
I think it depends on the friend and how they deal with conflict. I can't remember the last blowout I had with a friend (college roommate?), but I have had times where there's tension in the friendship. That makes it difficult - sometimes I meet it head on, but usually, I just give us time and it blows over. If we're talking a real argument, I think it's best to apologize immediately, wait a week or two for some space, and then contact the person again, starting with "Hey, our friendship is important to me..." See where it goes from there.
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
you know what they say, when you are with a fight with your friend (or arguement), you should be grateful because he/she cares for you. though this depends of course on what the 2 of you were fighting in the 1st place. the best approach to this is to stay calm and try to understand his/her feelings towards the whole thing you 2 were fighting about. don't raise your pride. keep it low. this would prevent clash your pride. calm, lower your pride.. and be patient.. your friend would cool down sooner or later.. and that would be the best time to discuss everything.
@jugsjugs (13045)
16 Mar 10
I think no matter how long or how short you have known someone that you class as a friend there will be times where there will always be a bit of conflict as that is the way life is.If they are a good friend aswell as a nice person they will take time to chat to you if they have any sort of a problem with you or if you have a problem with them.Just try biting your lip and either go to talk to them or wait until they come to talk to you.