How to tell no to kid or child

Toys - Oh memories about toys
@ET28LV (1895)
Latvia
March 16, 2010 3:59pm CST
Hello! Most people have children or how do you like to say kids. So I want to talk about an interesting theme. How to tell no to kid or child? My mom told: When I was a little, I always wanted sweets or toys when we are wandering around the shops. But not always my mom could buy me all what I want. My mom said, I'll buy only one thing. I usually chose toys. When mom was a pay day, I was always happy, because my mom could buy the toys and sweets in one day. Questions for Mylooters. When you were a kid, what do you want more toys or sweets? When you with your parents walk to shops, or mom could buy you this two things, or only one? In nowadays money is not so much to everyone, but how to explain to kid that you can not afford the two things? On these questions can answer dads too, and people who don't have kids yet.
6 people like this
24 responses
@celticeagle (118255)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Mar 10
I have had kids, guardianship of others and two grandchildren. I think being consistant in what you say to child, what you expect from them and what they should expect from you is extremely important. If you say no and they know you mean it then there isn't much of a problem. But, if a child thinks they have a chance or the situation isn't clear to them then you will have a fight on your hands.
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
20 Mar 10
Yes this is truth, sometimes kids use a chance, and prayed to parents. And sometimes parents broke, and buy the thing. But sometimes parents is like the wall. And they remains to own. This thing is observed many times.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (118255)
• Boise, Idaho
20 Mar 10
I think consistancy and communication is all important in raising kids.
1 person likes this
@Lochoa (222)
• United States
16 Mar 10
well I don't have any kids yet but my lil sis was pract my kid! I always took her to the mall with me. I was 16 and she ws 5-6. She always asked if I could buy her things and I would depending on what it was. BUT before I went to the mall I told her I needed to buy some stuff but if she seen something she wanted depending on what it was and if I could afoord it then I would get it. Sometimes I would have a limit like $5 or $10 depending on how much money I had at the time. I ws only 16! And let her pick. She obv didn't know how to manage money but she would ask, can I afford this? How much money will I have left over or whatever. And by me doing this is made her realize she only had a certain amount of money so be wise on what she decided to buy you know? So it taught her to buy wisely and decide do I really want this and she would go from there. If it was something in expensive then she would say can I afford this and this and if it added up with the the budget then she would buy them both if it didn't then she had to chose. But it taught her the value of money so now that she's 15 my mom gives her money here and there or uy's her things and she "bargain" shops. She doesn't over spend her or my mom's money b/c she knows the value. I hope this answers your question
2 people like this
@ada8may21 (2419)
• Philippines
17 Mar 10
I definitely agree with you. Before when I was a kid, my mom could not afford any of the two. I could only get sweets if i have high grades in school. I never had a toys of my own. Its all given by my aunts and uncles. Well Since I am mother now, I also taught my son to be responsible on the things he is asking me to buy. I always make him realize that I dont have that much, I cant afford and he dont need it. However if it comes to sweets or foods i dont limit him with that one. If its toys I always have budget for him and let him know that he is responsible for his toys.
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
20 Mar 10
Lochoa This is correct thing, Kids need to now what we can not afford. My parents too is taught this things. When my mom shop she has a limit how much her can spend in shop. And I too have learned this thing, Always when I am in shop, I too have limit. I buy only things which I can afford, and which I really needed. This important thing I also teach to my kids. Ada8may21 Kids need to teach, because I have seen that other parents buy toys fro their kids, but they play with them for some time, and they got tired of it. When I was little kid, I better like sweets, but now I would rather buy a property, because property is almost permanent.
@phoenix8606 (4978)
17 Mar 10
hello! well, i think with the kids we must act straight because they are still small and sometimes they don't get it when we are using some roundabout words, because their brains are not accustomed with some long phrases or long sentences. that's why i think it is really right to talk with them straight, not shouting , no quarrels, just talking calm but with straight words and short sentences!
2 people like this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
3 Jun 10
Hello! It is too true what you said. Kids are small and sometimes they don't want understand us, or they can not understand us. Kids are smart they understand better if we say it lovely. But, the important is do not spoil kids.
@Buchi_bulla (8299)
• India
17 Mar 10
It is children's nature to ask for everything. Parents cannot get all that they want. Hence parents should explain to the child the actual situation in a loving voice and should tell the child that the toys can be purchased when parents have money.
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
2 Apr 10
Yes, Parents can not always buy everything what kid wants. And Correctly you have said: Parents need tell truth to kid on lovely voice.
• United States
17 Mar 10
I say no and hope to g-d he doesn't throw something to heavy at me. I can take the tantrum, someday he'll realize everything I did was for him.
2 people like this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
2 Apr 10
Yes, Parents always want to gave all the best to their kids. I now that my mom too want gave only the best to my life.
@jd107nette (1456)
• Philippines
17 Mar 10
hmm... kids can already understand explanations but sometimes they throw on tantrums so they could get what they want. my nephew is a bit different. one time i asked my brother that i would take his son with me to the mall... the kid looked at every toy and sweets he saw but he never asked me to buy any of them. i asked him, which one do you want me to buy? he answered with really happy expression "REALLY???" then i asked him on the way home why was he like that, he said that whenever his mom takes him to the mall, he gets spanked when he asks for something... hehe... No is sometimes pretty harsh
2 people like this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
20 Mar 10
Yes, Kids can understand if we do not have so much money, But the parents want only the best for they own kids. He he for your brother son, It was funny. But if we talk serious, It is nice that your brother son is not spoiled.
@GardenGerty (99323)
• United States
16 Mar 10
My parents could not afford either, and that was okay. I frequently told my kids that we chose to pay our bills first, then maybe other things. I did give them an allowance and they could spend it as they wished. I helped them make good choices, though.They would save up for things like video games and special things for their rooms.
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
20 Mar 10
My parents too have said this. First we pay the bills, and then maybe something other. And my parents too gave me money, I save it, and then buy something big.
@harmonee (1236)
• United States
16 Mar 10
I think you just tell them the truth. There are vending machines where I work and when kids ask for stuff some of the parents simply tell them they don't have the money for it. I rotated between sweets and toys. My parent's gave me a SMALL allowance, so I had to decide what I wanted to spend it on. They really didn't get me anything outside of what I got with allowance.
2 people like this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
20 Mar 10
I agree with you, The best thing would be to say truth. If kids want to understand this, They realize. We can't spoil our kids.
• United States
16 Mar 10
Just say no, if they get spoiled they will want more and more. Don't give in, it's better then consuming stress later when you can afford these things
2 people like this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
20 Mar 10
Yes, worst thing is when kids have spoiled. Need to say no, Sometimes can buy some some things.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
16 Mar 10
It didnt matter what I wanted I got nothing...and I knew better than to ask....As for my kids..if they dont need it or I dont have the money for it or they dont deserve it etc etc...I just say "NO"...they're teens so they understand and know better than to cross me on it..they'll whine on occasion but that never lasts long once I give them "the look" as they call it LOL
2 people like this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
20 Mar 10
Your kids are understand you, because they is teenagers, but how it was when they were smaller kids?
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
17 Mar 10
my child who is four years old normally is not a buy me this buy me that kind of child. he normally behaves when we are outside. but on supermarket he always makes a point to get an oreo for that is his favorite and chips ahoy as well. so he is not on a sweet side as candies and chocolates but he is on a cookie and bisquits. he is a boy also who loves bananas and apples. since he is our only child we make sure we give what is best for him but still we dont like spending too much on toys for he gets tired of a certain toys at once and we dont like spending too much also on candies that will make his teeth ache.
1 person likes this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
3 Jun 10
Hello! You have nice and smart kid who all understand. He he he normally behaves, but use this opportunity it is funny. Child's love eat fruits and sweets, because they are kids. It is nice that you are give all your attention to he. Parents always want all the best for they kids, but parents can not spoil kids. If they do after some years they regret it.
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
yes the regret part is the ugliest part. a lot of parents out there gives everything and anything that they ended up hating the child for it was turned into a different person already. sometimes we parents need to give them tough love. it was hard at first but we really need to realize that kids needs discipline as well.
1 person likes this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
6 Jul 10
Yes parents think that If they give all what kids want they would be happy and grow up like parents. But, many parents spoil they kids and it is wrong when they grow up they ask and ask all from parents. Yes the main thing is discipline without discipline kids can not grow up.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
17 Mar 10
When I was a kid my parentsw bought what I needed. Got toys at birthday and Christmas time no other time of the year. CAndy? nope. If I wanted any candy or a soda I hunted return borrles to make me some money for these thing. My kids always took fruit not candy and they only got toys on special occations. Grand daughter SHe wants a happy meal with a little toy in it! and if we dont have the money tell her no money to buy she has to wait till payday!
1 person likes this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
3 Jun 10
It is nice that your kids do not want the candles, sweets, but only healthy things like fruits. Toys is great, because they are useful for the kids, and toys remained very long time. Yes, the best way is said truth to kids. If you do not have money they understand it if they want. Have a nice day!
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
3 Jun 10
well if no money ya just cant buy things lol have a great day!
1 person likes this
@ifa225 (11099)
• Indonesia
20 Mar 10
I always tell my kids they have to choose one between two, because we can't always have all what we wants in the same time. it teaches them how to control their will while they have limited in money. good too to make them learning how to be more patient.
1 person likes this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
3 Jun 10
You have nice idea. Ask to kids t choose what they really want, because usually parents buy all what kids want, but kids do not play with that thing and thing just blew the dust. If kids know how hard is earn money they do not ask so much to us. Have a nice day!
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
19 Mar 10
When I was growing up my parents didn’t have very much money at all, yet I was unaware of that fact at the time because I didn’t feel I was missing out on a great deal. I was an only child up until the age of fifteen and my parents clearly did not want me to miss out on anything material. Sometimes they had to say no and, because no explanation was given to me, I thought they were being terribly mean. I wish they had explained to me that money was scarce and that is why I could not have some of the things I wanted. I am not suggesting burdening kids with financial problems but I think they should be told the truth. With my daughter if I need to tell her no I explain to her why almost every time whether it is because she can’t have something due to lack of funds or she is not allowed to do something which I feel would not be safe. She doesn’t always like to be told no but at least I give her a reason!
1 person likes this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
3 Jun 10
I have the same situation my parents too do not have much money when I was younger. But, sometimes they just buy me presents when they earn some bonus. Usually they buy toys when I had Birthday or when was Christmas. My parents too sometimes said that we can not afford it, and I understand them. My parents teach me use things so long until they are broken. And when things broke my parents teach the important thing. If some thing broke, first try fix it and then if, I can not do it, I can buy new the same thing. My parents was bitter and do not spoil me. And it is very important in nowadays.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
17 Mar 10
When i was a kid we didn't get things every time we went to the store like kids do nowadays. We got nice things on our birthday & at christmas but not all the time. I have often said that kids now don't have the anticipation at christmas like we did because they get too much the year around, I don't get to go shopping much w/my grandson much because i don't shop much but as much as i love him he gets way too much from me & his parents. Iadmit i spoil him rotten, lol.
1 person likes this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
3 Jun 10
In your time had different situation. I know parents do not buy the things when they came to shop. They buy presents only one Birthdays or Christmas. In nowadays kids is more spoiled, and do not know how hard is earn money.
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
17 Mar 10
Well kids are kids, they dont understand our situation and they even dont know the value of money. If i can give a dollar note to my daughter, she will tear it into pieces and play. But making them understand in different way will help. We can say in loveable words, "dear i will get you surely after i save more money for you. Here take toys this time, next time you will get both"
1 person likes this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
3 Jun 10
I think kids is understand the situation, but do not know how hard is earn money. We can say in lovely voice. I can not buy this toy for you now, but when I have more money, I buy it for you. Kids understand it if they want. If no, we have no a choice to get silent the kid. The hardest is too stop kid to cry or other things what they imagine. Need to community with kid in all things. Kids are smart!
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
17 Mar 10
I always got toys. I am not a sweets fan. But when i was naughty, and that was about twice a day, i had a very serious problem convincing my parents that i deserve a new toy. And i never won those little battles. So, i got used to the word no. TATA.
1 person likes this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
6 Jul 10
He he Saprhina nice story.. I was a sweets fan I always want candies, ice cream.. My parents do not buy what I want. They only buy things then they have salary or some salary bonus, because my parents always have bills to pay.
• United States
17 Mar 10
When I was little my parents did not have a lot of money, so I did not get anything most times when we went to the store. I mean, if we were grocery shopping, then my mom might let me pick out my own cereal or give me a choice on something, which made me feel important, but I didn't get anything extra because we couldn't afford it. Once in a while if my dad had a little extra money from a bonus or something, then he would buy my mom and I a special treat on his way home from work. It was usually a Twinkie or something small like that, but it was very special when we got these kinds of treats because mostly we couldn't afford them. When my oldest daughter was young, sometimes she would get things, and sometimes she wouldn't. Mostly we could afford it, but I don't think she needed something every time we went shopping. With my little one, she has just started getting to the stage where she is noticing things in the stores, but she doesn't really ask for much yet. We can't afford to buy her something each time, either, and even if we could afford to we still would not. I think that buying something for them sometimes is alright, but I do not think that they should expect something every time we go to the store, even if we can afford it. I also like to surprise them with little things once in a while (like my dad did for me), but that is harder to do if they are used to getting something all the time, because then it doesn't seem as special.
1 person likes this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
2 Apr 10
Now I am thinking, and I too had remember... My dad too had sometimes some money bonus at work, but It was very rare. My family also never been a very prosperous. Always we had something of refuse. But this "fell" who makes feel important, Is very nice. In my country were, I live we have economic crisis. There is more than 120 000 people who do not have jobs, and they have joined to special group. The name of the group is "Fed Latvia" My heart hurts to listen the statistic in news about my country financial status. When I was little kid, I too like this little special things. It made me feel important to my parents eyes. I can agree with you, Not always kids need a things. But sometimes they do not want to ask to buy something, because they aware that parents do not have a money.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
17 Mar 10
I never spoil my kids by buying them junk foods or buying toys. I explain to them that they only get toys during their birthday or on christmas day. They understand my point and will not nag me everytime I bring them for shopping. Children need reasoning and try to talk to them like talking to an adult. They will understand.
1 person likes this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
2 Apr 10
The joke is, If kid want they understand, but If kid don't want to learn on this words? I agree with you we can not spoil kids, and need to talk about money things.
@nangisha (3504)
• Indonesia
17 Mar 10
When I have kids I will not allow them to buy anything they want, I will teach them the value of money since they small, they will got their weekly money for behaving as good kid and they can chose what they want to buy. I think kids has to teach to make their own decision as early as possible, and responsible for their decision, in this way I don't have to explain why I can't buy them toy and candy at the same time. It will be they decision.
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
2 Apr 10
We must teach to kids, how difficult is earn money. We need to tell how important is money. Kids need to now that they can't spend money always in chips, burble gum, or sweets. In nowadays important is teach to kid how to safe money.