Will you help your ailing father even when he left you when you were a toddler .

Germany
March 18, 2010 5:47am CST
If your father left you & your mother & your 6 siblings while you were a toddler to marry another woman and raise another family ( he had only 1 son there), and in his old age suddenly came back to you to ask help, would you accept him or help him? Or you'd turn him down & left him even if it means that, that was the last time of seeing him ... How compassionate are you, how forgiving can you be??
1 person likes this
17 responses
@libramie (563)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
I would help my father especially he suffering an ailment as to what capacity I have, because father is only one in our life and we can't replace him. Any reasons behind leaving a family and find another as long as he back he remembered what he has before it end maybe. If we can care another why we don't care our own father. We must be considerate another feelings before anything happens.
1 person likes this
• Germany
18 Mar 10
His medicatons costed over a hundred thousand ( 100,000.00 ++ ), will you still help him financially .... or morally - just by being there. When just by being there, you will be subject to watch him die slowly...
@libramie (563)
• Philippines
19 Mar 10
If I have financially I help him, 100thousand is a small amount for the rich extending their help to no less than a father and If I haven't he know my situation and the capacity to help him,so I buy pain relievers either. However to support him morally can relieve his pain emotionally which can contribute big medication to his life.
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@libramie (563)
• Philippines
7 Apr 10
Thanks a lot tigerlily denoting my response as your best, sharing my views on discussions you've started.
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
I've not experienced that. But if it happened to me i guess i can find a way to forgive him. Forgiveness can only go to an extent so i don't really know how forgiving i am cuz time can make you forgive. I can't hold a grudge that long so after a long time i guess i can forgive and forget.
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• Germany
18 Mar 10
Forgive yes - no problem. So no financial support? only moral support.
• Philippines
19 Mar 10
of course there is financial support.
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
hello tigerlily, we can help other people, why not our own father right? well anyway, somehow its difficult specially if you have some anger within yourself, i guess if he ask for forgiveness, i can forgive him...no matter what. this discussion reminds me of someone i know, her husband abandoned her & their kids. he lives with different women for a long year. of course the wife hates him for what he has done...but one day the husband comes back and he's really sick, got a stroke and has got other illness, so he needs to be taken care of...it amaze me that even how much the wife feel bad, she still took care of him as well as their children...they took care of their father until his last day in this world...and their father, ask for never ending forgiveness to his children & to his wife, and leave all what he have, like the pensions & everything to his original family...
• Germany
18 Mar 10
Ohh..that is very sweet of that someone you know to. Its a very rare trait nowadays. Bless her heart.
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
19 Mar 10
yeah..and i think now, she's living even happier and at peace since all the bad feelings inside her are also gone with his husband...
@setsuna26 (2410)
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
This is a pretty sensitive topin but i have to admit i will feel bad but at the end of the day hes still my father. Theres no me if hes not around i owe him my life now that his is in danger no matter what kind of bad treatment he gave me i will still be by his side a son whose willing to forgive and willing to love him until his dying days.A father is a father is a father.. no matter how many times he made a mistake he will still be a father to me ;)
@nonersays (2759)
• United States
18 Mar 10
I had a very loving father who raised me, but my MOTHER left me when I was very little, and has not been part of my life. I tried to include her when my son was born because he is her grandson, but she didn't act interested. I'm not sure I would want to take care of her if she showed up and needed me. I'm just vindictive enough that I might tell her to go get help from whoever she was with when she WASN'T a part of my life.
• Germany
18 Mar 10
you are very honest with you feelings. I give you the right to feel that way. It is sure not easy to be nice to someone who has not been nice to us. I feel the same way too.
@rsa101 (15529)
• Quezon City, Philippines
18 Mar 10
I think that would really be hard for me to accept him back since you grew up not seeing him around. I think when a person is absent your relationship with him would also die away. Well after many years and him trying to reach out maybe it is just prudent to see him and get to know him about what happened why he left you long time ago. helping him might also be a good idea but I think you should limit it at that point. I guess he needs to express his heartfelt sorry for leaving you all behind after all these years.
• Germany
18 Mar 10
yeah what you wrote is true specially the first 2 sentences.
@nykel88 (1003)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
It depends on my situation mostly. If he is really sorry for what he did to me then maybe I'd forgive him. If I didn't go through to Life's countless misery due to my status then still maybe I'll forgive him. He should be the one to confront me first not that I to him.
• Germany
18 Mar 10
you are really a man, you think like a man. lol
• Hong Kong
18 Mar 10
I will visit him. I'm a compassionate person, though I have to admit that's one of my weaknesses... Let him have a contented departure from the living...You'll never know how happy he'll be. But the questions are: would he want to see you? What about his wife's reaction?
• Germany
18 Mar 10
yes, it was his will to come to his children and his wife & son were all go for it because his medications costed over a hundred thousand and they can't afford that.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 Mar 10
I'd probably help him if I felt his need was genuine and he wasn't just taking advantage of me.
• China
19 Mar 10
If I have the ability,I will help.We don't have to find many reasons to persuade us to do so.That's just what we should do, I think.
• India
19 Mar 10
I think more than compassion, it would be more of my conscience and how I would deal with myself. If I am clear to myself that I would never have to do anything with that person ever, whatever be the circumstances, then I’d not visit him or keep any contact or allow him into my life. But if I feel that he’s my father after all and I owe him some respect, some compassion then I’d forget and forgive the past and help him in any way I can…at least I’ll live with a clear conscience in my life.
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
19 Mar 10
my family was an intact family so this is kind of tough... did he support your family or not? Was he around at all? or did he just dump you and leave you without money and never come around? if he just dumped me and my siblings - I'd dump him... I'd be just as compassionate as he was
• Philippines
19 Mar 10
i'd go there, if that will make him happy on his last days on earth. i am in that kind of situation, but not on the part of having an illness. my father abandoned us and never left us anything, even financial support. but afterall, he's still my father and based on my experience, time healed my wounds.
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
I'd probably help him a little, but not much so he will also realize that what he did was wrong. I will give a little help not because he is my father but because that is what I would do with others in the same situation.
@umit_umit (1986)
• India
18 Mar 10
oh really its a very critical situation,if my mother is alive then i will ask from her wheather she wants him or not?and if not,then I will tell him to go to old age society!as he has not played arole of a father!if he insists and pleads!then I think i may allow him to stay with us!
@LadyBoss (253)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Of course I would be very upset. I would let him know how I felt about what he did. But its difficult to say. Sometimes when people are at their worsts they go to the only last people left and realise who is most important in their lives. Sometimes its too late. And sometimes people never change. But on some occasions people have a tottaly life changing experiece which could change them for the better. But its always good to forgive someone if they truely are really sorry and the acknowledge what they did it the past that was wrong
@coffeegurl (1470)
• United States
18 Mar 10
hells no!