Does it make a difference whether you ar the eldest or youngest among siblings?

@udayrao2 (782)
India
March 18, 2010 9:25pm CST
Does it make a difference whether you are the eldest or youngest or in the middle or whichever order among the siblings?? I would not know as I do not have a brother nor a sister, so I am asking you my friends. Here in my country, in our culture & tradition, the eldest is respected, especially more after the death of the parents( higher respect if he is male) gets importance as he takes the place of the father, and I have heard of many cases where the eldest brother or sister did not marry at all, as their priority was bringing up their siblings( if the father/mother died when they were too young)and sacrificed for the siblings just to see that the younger siblings were well educated and well settled in life, in the process giving up all their own personal desires.That is real love I think. Is it the same there in your culture? And what do you feel?
2 people like this
10 responses
19 Mar 10
I don't think it makes a lot of difference here in the UK, I am the eldest of two children and I always had to look out for my younger brother. I don't think I ever got more *respect* as the eldest, rather my younger brother got spoilt while I took the blame - lol
1 person likes this
@udayrao2 (782)
• India
21 Mar 10
I have seen in many families like what you said the youngest is always the spoilt brat and gets away with all sorts of wrongs!!!
@vandana7 (62597)
• India
19 Mar 10
I am just a single piece in this family. :( So I am the eldest, youngest, and the ones in middle, even boy and girl. :) I think first one are more like experimented ones so parents too are confused how they should be bringing up their child. They do develop their ideas of course, and there are simply too many advisers. But by the time they come to second or third, they are pretty experienced. The youngest normally gets more love, as instead of just parents there are siblings as well who protect him or her. But if the age gap is too much, there is likelihood of the youngest being seen as unwanted rival for properties - I've seen that kind of rivalry. I hope what I came across is a stray case. :)
@vandana7 (62597)
• India
19 Mar 10
In our family, my father was the youngest, his elder brother was a drunkard, and his elder sister (18 years his senior) was married to a gambler. My father helped both these families come up, and was even cheated by elder sister. I became the casualty having to work for my living and being beaten for monies. How much respect should I be having for such "elder" people, or the word family?
• United States
19 Mar 10
Hello Udayrao2, I believe you answered your own question. Speaking in my culture, it doesn't reall matter because my parents believe that even if they raise us well there will always be those among the siblings who will not follow up to the expectation they upheld. I'm the second oldest in my family and my family has expectation not because I am the second oldest but because I try my best at school. I think as time go on Parents begin to realizes that the age/order of matter doesn't matter, or atleast here in Amercia. Though there is always that expectation between genders. The only expectation I might say parents will always have is for the older siblings to always look after and take care of the younger siblings and be a good role model.
@bwaybaby (904)
• United States
19 Mar 10
I'm in the US. I have one younger sister. She had a bit more freedom growing up, but we're both getting a good education and whatnot, albeit in very different things. I'm expected to make money if, for some reason, her animation career doesn't quite work out. My boyfriend is the oldest of four. He just has a bit of a weird family, though. The youngest in his family is also the only daughter, so she can get away with quite a bit. I don't think the oldest is supposed to give up all their desires, but I think the idea of a "good older sibling" is one who watches out for the younger ones.
@cupkitties (6954)
• United States
19 Mar 10
As far as I know in the US its not allowed for the oldest sibling to take on raising duties after the parents die unless they are of a legal adult age. In those cases the kids are all sent to grandparents or other relatives. There are kids here whose parents are still living but the eldest still ends up raising the younger ones because the parents won't do it. The oldest one like someone already mentioned are given more responsibilities because they are able to handle more and they also have to watch what they do and say because the little ones will mimic them thinking they are supposed to behave the same way.
• United States
19 Mar 10
I don't think in our culture, country, that age or time you were born merits you respect. I mean .. I don't see my siblings saying .she is my older sister so must be wiser. I know we were taught to respect our elders..regardless of whether they are related or not. More is expected of one who is older .. in my family..but respect..ha ha.. wouldn't be a bad idea.
• India
19 Mar 10
yes..it really matters...i do have a younger brother.he is 11 years younger to me...its just that our experience gets added to their ones in studies and every matters of life...he gets medals in olympiads and competetions and i feel proud clapping for him.whatever we couldn't do,,we see in his eyes to do it..we as elders have the responsibility of the whole family..and forgot our childhood..and now we want him to lead our life and his both.and thats the difference.
• Philippines
19 Mar 10
Yes because if you are the eldest you assume the responsibility of your parents and when you are the youngest you assume the care from your elders.
@spalladino (17926)
• United States
19 Mar 10
Here in the U.S. the oldest child usually has more responsibility than the younger siblings, especially if both parents work outside of the home. I am the oldest of four and my personality reflects that. I am a take charge kind of person, very responsible and better able to deal with people in general than my siblings. My youngest sister, who was always the sweet "baby", was very unmotivated for a long time because things were too easy for her as she was growing up.
• Canada
19 Mar 10
In the Canadian culture, I dont want to say teh odlest is not respected, but we dont really have social qualms for the different births and levels and such. As teh first born in my family all the crp gets put on me. Thats all the blame and all the responsibility and pressure and yelling and such. My sister, being the babay gets treated like an aboslute princess. It reallty sucks that this is how it is, but most hoes that I hear about havethe same situation going on.