If your friend don't understand you....what would you do?

@hanah87 (1846)
Malaysia
March 20, 2010 11:03am CST
I have one friend who live in same room with me at the college. We are like close friend and have same attitude and interest. However she still do not want to tolerate with me like when I need to sleep at other room with other friend to finish my assignment.In our room, there is also has one friend live in our room that mean that room share by three of us. But she do not talk or close with her-they fight before this. She come from the same country where the college located. I come from other country and sometimes I always live alone without any friend live together and I never force her to not back to her home. I afraid too but I need to understand her situation but she never want to understand my situation. Last day she angry at me because i sleep in other room and she feel alone. I have tell her that i have assignment to be done because the date come close but she give me a warning. I try to discuss about it but she still dont want to understand it. I feel uncomfortable with it because i need more big space and nobody can force me to do something I don't want. What would you do if your friend dont want to understand yourself?
4 people like this
9 responses
@kaylachan (4778)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
21 Mar 10
I wouldn't stress over it. Its not worth it. Just do what you have to do. After times goes on and this person stops to think. Then he or she will realize the error of their ways. And, maybe not. You don't know that but you have to give them space to let them to soak up the information. Perhaps its a misunderstanding... but... its up to you to just relax and take it all in stride.
2 people like this
@hanah87 (1846)
• Malaysia
22 Mar 10
Yes, maybe i should just relax because by the way they are so relax and never think about my feeling, why should I think t so much,right?Thanks for the advice.
@voldrox (7205)
• India
20 Mar 10
hi hanah, Well i can understand that, you should try to make her understand how important the assignment is for you, or perhaps someday you can call your friend to your own room to complete it? Well then how does she do her assignments? If i had a similar situation i would get irritated too, i would try to talk and somehow try to make him understand that this job needs to be done before the deadline, i hope your room partner understands... all the best... have a nice day hanah.
2 people like this
@hanah87 (1846)
• Malaysia
20 Mar 10
Yes, maybe one day i would ask my friends to do our assignment in my rooms. But the problem is this situation become so complex where my roomate does not want to let me to free do anything i like. I never force her to do what i want or ask her to go back to her parent home but she always force me. I feel uncomfortable very much. And she never want to understand,so i think to let she know my heart say and make her own decision even she hate me to talk about that. Thank for the advise because i really need it.
1 person likes this
@besthope44 (12146)
• India
20 Mar 10
Well, i have heard my friends saying these things when they say at rooms with friends. Well, your friend seems to be possesive of you. She feels insecured. You can adjust her, but it is not good for you, because you need to stop your friend from overtaking you. Its not healthy atall. Never mind if she hurts, tell her straight you needed privacy. I say this because, she should also have to be independent at times and should not bother others. She has to face the world and you cant be with her always. And if you allow, she will take you for granted. So never allow anyone to compel you. If she doesnot understand, show you doesnot like people not understanding you. Make her know, that this your wish and character. Soft words always wont work, lets their be straight forward answer to your friend, which is good for you and also to her. Draw the thin line between you and your friend!
2 people like this
@hanah87 (1846)
• Malaysia
20 Mar 10
I think I just want to tell her and let she make a decision to still live with me in that room or live in other house with other friend. My friend before this live with me too but she get out from our house and she has ask my roomate right now(the girl)to live with her. I scare if I say something she will feel bad about me because she is a sensitive girl and it will affect my relationship for assignment group on other semester. I dont want to lose my close friend too. Maybe i would talk straight if i get the suitable time.Thank for the advise.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Mar 10
Sometimes we need to give our friends space. It's not always as it appears. Our friends, if they are true, will always be our friends..Sometimes things happen that makes our friends appear not interested; but, in reality they are handling their old situations at the time we need them.. If we are their friend, we will give them the space and time they need..
@sheen13 (567)
• India
21 Mar 10
I am a stubborn type of girl and so I do whatever I want to do. If my close friend doesn't listen to me, I don't listen to her as well. Actually my close friends are kind of stubborn as well and at times, they don't listen to me as well. So, whatever happens between us friends, we manage and patch up again. So, how much ever we fight, we will stay close with each other, It's like more than fighting, we stay with each other close. So, I think you should also try to make her understand but still even if she doesn't understand, you should do whatever you like to do. And I am sure that you will patch up with your friend again! Have a nice day!:)
• Philippines
21 Mar 10
For me,compromise,understanding,genuine concern not to mention love is important not only in relationships but also in friendships. In both instances, there must be enough space for growth or privacy. It's not about who is the boss or who is the leader, its about being in one team, bonding harmoniously with one another.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
21 Mar 10
For me you need to transfer in another room to rent for you because you get a stressful life and it can cause no inspired in your life.
@mimiang (3779)
• Philippines
21 Mar 10
Well, i will have to explain by writing if she could not understand if I tell her verbally.
@anurag3786 (6275)
• India
21 Mar 10
If this situations is with me then i try to understand him again.. and i think if he/she is my good friend... then he/she must understand you.. it is my thinking.. because in friendship it's both of us responsibility to helped each other and when you or your friend have some misunderstandings then sitting together and understands each other problems.. then you get find solutions... have a nice day and keep mylotting always...