People you may dislike

United States
March 23, 2010 11:35am CST
Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you are forced to speak to someone that you really don't like, just because it doesn't seem "polite" not to? Where is it written that we have to be 'civil' all the time? I hate being put in a situation like that. If I really dislike someone, I don't feel as if I should have to be 'nice' just because polite society says so. No, I'm not saying I would be downright rude, but some people really don't deserve common courtesy. Just curious, and am seeking the opinion of other mylotters on this subject.
1 person likes this
15 responses
@phoenix8606 (4978)
23 Mar 10
well, It was log time ago, when I did it or the last time, and i can tell you that i really didn't feel that well while I was talking to that person, because he actually was a guy who wanted to be with the girl I liked then so he told me some nasty things about her, which weren't true btw but didn't want to let him know that I like her, so i just had to listen and bite my lips
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Mar 10
I've been put in this situation a lot of times. The thing is I don't have the bone to let this person know that I dislike her or him. I give them short, curt responses if it is needed, and then I leave them after that. I don't like confrontation, and i really try to avoid having to talk to someone if I can help it. For me, the mere act of avoiding to talk to someone should be clue enough for that person that I don't like him or her. I never felt the need to be polite because society dictates so, but I am polite because I am avoiding confrontation.
@raj_ka (431)
• India
24 Mar 10
hi kate, I know its very difficult to control ourself when you need to talk with ppl you dislike. But it is necessary to be polite with them to move in this society. For example i have a boss who never give anyone a single compliment and does not take things positive at all.We can not avoid him as he is the person who pays us and not being polite we can not manage the work.Similary if your co employee is the person you dislike the most you can avoid talking to him to some extent if he is not the person to interfere in your work. Depending on situation and the persons status you can avoid talking to some people but not all especially parents and siblings.
@missybear (11396)
• United States
24 Mar 10
If it's work related sometimes I don't have a choice but to talk to someone I don't like. I try to be as polite as I need to be but no more.
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
24 Mar 10
I know what you mean. There are also reasons why we dislike this kinds of people. I mean, we just dont like time we just dont but there are things that they do that makes us feel they do not deserve to be treated well. I also dont care if I am called civil or not and I dont force myself to get along with this person I really dont like. I dont see any reason why I have to be nice to this person when I know that this person doesnt deserve any respect at all. And yeah! For me to avoid on being rude to this person, I just have to stay away.
• Netherlands
23 Mar 10
I try to distance myself from feeling any emotional things towards the person if I don't like him. If I hate him then I try to be polite if there are other people around the the situation recommends it. However, I don't always act nice just because I have to. There are times when you completely lose your nerve, because it's all too much to take in at that specific period. I usually tend to remain calm rather than get pissed off. It's hard, I know not, for these feelings of dislike not to surface, especially if you are woman (no offense) but there's a bigger picture, always, and you've got to think that over, before you act. Generally, try to count to 10 (or five) before you are provoked or just do not pay any heed. It's better because when your reputation is at stake, then it's a lot more than just "to get it out" at that person... isn't it? I've been trying to become rather independent, or at least work with people I like. However, that may not always be the case. I hope for better understanding between people, so we may not discuss this issue however. Generally, I don't give a darn about what society thinks, it's all about one's life and one's understanding and actions. However, I pretty much think that I am a rather good person than bad. :) Keep on the good posting mate!
@garamond (28)
• Argentina
23 Mar 10
I agree with your point of view. It happened to me to come accross someone I really don't like and so I had to make a decission. In that cases I choose not to be polyte to that people as they don't deserve a single mark of courtesy.
@garychie (157)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Yes, I've been to a situation when I have to be civil to a person that I really don't like just for the sake of being polite and to not to waste the many years of friendship. It was not a good feeling smiling and talking to the person if deep in your heart you are wanting to give him/her a loud slap. Now, I am not seeing the person no more for I can't even dare see the "face". I am not even texting him/her.
@umit_umit (1986)
• India
23 Mar 10
its true some people are really very crude rude and goons type who dosent deserve courtsy!well then if you need to talk to them then talk very normally to the point!and do your own job!
@hofferp (4739)
• United States
23 Mar 10
I try and avoid situations where I might have to "make talk" with someone I dislike. But if I'm stuck, I'm still polite, just not very talkative.
@HansonFan (1659)
• United States
23 Mar 10
I have been in this situation for a year. One of my good friends shares an apartment with a girl named Nicole - I can't stand her and I never have liked her. I can put on a good act, but she is just one of the worst people I have ever met. She acts nice and then slams everyone when they aren't around. I found out she thought I liked girls in *that* way and was telling random people that. I don't, I just don't go around telling everyone who I like, etc. Only close people know that stuff. So, I deleted her on facebook. She threw a fit and was giving my friend problems so I added her again, acted like it was an accident and I have to be nice until my friend gets away from her. My friend and her parents are scared of what Nicole might do...its awful. Luckily, my friend and I graduate in less than a month, she will move out, and Nicole will be moving out of state! My friend acts so differently now, and i hope I get the old her back once Nicole is out of the picture.
@Olivine (11)
• United States
23 Mar 10
If you have to talk to someone you dislike at work or school, I think it is best to put up with them to avoid interfering with your performance. You can always tell your boss or teacher that you don't feel capable of working well with that person, but getting mad at them and being impolite would just make you seem immature. You feel the person doesn't deserve common courtesy and that may be true, but not everyone agrees with you, and you have to act with respect to their feelings. However, if you just mean that you would simply hurry through your business with that person and not put in the effort to be friendly or make small talk with them, that is perfectly fine as long as you're not interfering with anyone's ability to work. You're entitled to your opinion. It's a tougher call if you're among friends and the one you dislike shows up. You probably want to avoid making your friends choose sides, but you shouldn't be obligated to talk to that person the way you talk with the friends you actually like. Personally, I am friendly as often as possible, even with people I strongly dislike. I don't usually have anything to gain from acting otherwise, and I like my reputation as a patient and kind person. But I also understand that not everyone finds it easy to act that way, and I admit that the way I act often means that I have to spend more time than necessary around people I don't like.
@ulat89 (26)
• Jordan
23 Mar 10
yes, i've been in that situation. it really make me sick actually and usually when it comes to the situation where i'm force to speak to the people that i dislike i will never look at their eyes but mostly i rather choose to be as quite as grave. well its the best way i can do to satisfy the polite society.
@beeeckie (803)
• United States
23 Mar 10
All the time, I work in retail :) *rimshot* Just kidding, sort of. But there are a handful of customers I try to avoid, and since I'm a supervisor I can sometimes pass them off to associates, but then I feel bad about it. Retail involves dealing with some nasty people sometimes. Which gives me an idea for a topic...oooh! People who don't deserve common courtesy, well, I try to move on as quickly as possible.
• India
23 Mar 10
i can understand how you are feeling about this.. the real problem is whenever we are forced to do things.. we do not really like it.. i had faced these sort of situations loads of times and i always tried to behave the most polite way because the society demands it..