a guy is torturing me

India
March 28, 2010 8:22am CST
I made online friendship with a guy in UK. After 3 years it turned out to be love. maybe I assumed it to be love. Within 7 months into relationship I realised that he is not a good person. He is very manipulative,used to lie to me,watch other girls' naked pictures,was thrown out from college,hacked my email accounts, and i had to tell him what i do every minute in a day. He took a promise from me not to talk to my ex boy friend. His parents called me once and gave me a warning to stay away from him. But he cleverly manipulated that issue as well. And 2 months before he started threatening me that he will commit suicide if i don't go to UK. He even sent me suicide notes scanned and pictures of him consuming bleach, rubbing alcohol and his hand slit. I asked him to go die. Then he changed his plan and started saying he will never talk like that again. I changed my number and was not in his contact. Now suddenly he has come to my city. He came to my house as well,but my dad did not let him in. I am in a serious danger as he knows all my details and also I have shared many personal informations with him. He even has my pictures,mails etc which can put me in trouble. PLZ help me out. Tell me what should I do. Please,he s in my city now. Plz respond immediately.
2 people like this
15 responses
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
Hmm.. The price for being overly emotional in the internet, I suppose. Anyway, it's too late to regret the past actions, but I think it would be best if you report the guy and have a restraining order against him. Do take care for now where you're going and who you're with, it'll be better for now if you are never alone. You'd be safer. Plus, if you could, try to stay in another house or another city for now. But I guess the restraining order is the best tool. Further, try to see if you could have him deported. Further, this is a good lesson to anyone who's buying the so-called internet love. Be sure to meet the person first and try to not hide things from your friends and family about what you're doing online. There are many crazy people out there who are prying to nave people. I had wished you didn't give him your details prior to meeting him.
• India
29 Mar 10
Exactly. Its the result of stupidity. :( How can I get a restraining order against him?
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
You go to a lawyer for that. Make sure you take your father or a sibling with you. Tell the lawyer and the judge that you feel threatened by him and that you were warned by his family about him too. Thanks for the best response, but you got to act fast.
• India
29 Mar 10
Thank you. I will do that.
@Simi234 (142)
• India
29 Mar 10
I hope you have changed your passwords etc which you shared with him. Also, in case you know his passwords and he has not changed them yet, delete your mails and pictures. Though I believe he must have changed the passwords. Tell your parents to try to talk to his parents about him. If you know someone out of your city, go and stay with them for few months and do not tell anyone about where you were going. You can always take cops help if the things become too serious and nasty.
• India
29 Mar 10
Not the passwords,I have deleted those IDs only. I have informed my friends and dad about him. As he has told me now that he will not call me again,I will just give him a chance. If he troubles me then will give a complaint
@owlwings (39362)
• Cambridge, England
28 Mar 10
Go to the police. Go straight to the police. Do not pass Go. If he is a UK citizen in India, he presumably has a tourist visa. If he is harassing you, you have a right to protection and he can easily be deported if he is not a citizen of India.
• India
29 Mar 10
he s a indian citizen.. he went to UK for studies.. When i told him i will lodge a police complaint,he started laughing and said he will lodge a cheating case against my dad and me. He said he knows people in police department and even in prime minister's office
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
Next time you talk to the guy, take a recording of him threatening you. That'll give you a strong case.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
For me if you feel love then go if not then stop that stupid thinking of yours.
• India
29 Mar 10
After realizing what sort of a person he is,I have stopped talkin to him. No love no crap. And i will be careful here after. I just need a solution to get rid of him.
@DOLLYBABY (2536)
• United States
29 Mar 10
Wow this guy sound like a maniac...or a psycho person...he seems to be very obsess with you to follow you to your country and sending threats to you...you need to report this matter to the police...and possible to the FBI too..before this matter get out of control.
• India
29 Mar 10
He is a psycho and also desperate for women. He has tortured me mentally like hell. Till now I didn't want to give a police complaint because there was my mistake too in it-"trusting him,being a fool". I thought the problem will be sorted and I didn't want to put him in trouble which may again lead to more revengeful situation from his side. I warned him yesterday properly. Even spoke to his friend in whose house he is staying right now. His friend told me he will take care that retarded fellow won't trouble or disturb me anymore. So I just want to give one more chance. If he does any harm even after this, I will lodge a complaint
30 Mar 10
What a horrible situation to be in. You really need to go to the police, tell them everything, take with you copies of the threats he has made to prove how unstable he is. Tell the police how frightened you are and make sure you have someone to go to the police station with you.
@sofabnnn (109)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
I know it's a difficult situation for you. But you can always turn to the authorities for help. Stay with your parents and the one closest to you for protection. be careful next time. =)
• China
30 Mar 10
if that is a reasonable person .maybe you can move him with your words ,but if not ,I think the best way to solve the problem is ask police for help !good luck~
@bestylish (923)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
All I can say is... go to the police. Ask for help. If I'm in your position... I will also not know what to do... I guess it would be better to change all contact details... your residence, emails, phone number. If it's possible...
@770876 (151)
• Malaysia
29 Mar 10
go police for help before the things become worse. Good luck..
• United States
29 Mar 10
As it sits, he already knows alot about you, and where you're living. If I were you, I would go straight to the police. It's important that other people know what's going on, and hopefully stop that guy before he does something stupid to hurt you or someone else. And after all is said and done, remember to not give out personal information to ANYBODY you meet online. Many people say that and you may think they're being over-protective or silly, but it really is true. Good luck with anything and hope you stay safe.
@kyel_11 (1069)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
oh my goodness. that's a difficult situation. hmmm... i think you should talk to him first before doing any action like calling the police or the like. if talking to him does not work, then it's time for you to take legal actions. you can call the police and tell them what this guy is doing. as for your accounts like mail, change your password so he can't access it anymore. if you still can't, just inform your friends and contacts that whenever they receive email from that email address, tell them you're not using it anymore. create new accounts and never ever again GIVE your personal information to some person you just know in the internet. be safe, God bless!
28 Mar 10
HI sanjana The First thing you want to learn than do not trust any one before fully analyse about that person. ok any how you tell all the problems to your parents and the better thing u give one complaint to police about him,this is the better thing..
@tomitomi (5441)
• Singapore
28 Mar 10
get the police for help.
@pratheep87 (1228)
• India
28 Mar 10
Hey how do you just give your personal information to a stranger. Just convey the real things happened to your parents and then talk to that guy polite and make him understand and make him go out of your life.