getting phone calls is so stressful in my house due to husband

Canada
March 28, 2010 12:23pm CST
my husband can drive me nuts sometimes. if the phone rings he follows me around to hear every word i say and then it's a 20 minute conversation with him after about what the other person said word for word. he's so nosy and insecure or jelous or whatever. i barely ever get calls and when i do it's my mother and that's it but i still get treated like this. drives me nuts. then he wants to talk to me the whole time i'm on the phone too and gets mad if i'm not answering him so i have to keep two conversations going at once and end up ignoring the person on the phone. grrr he drives me
1 person likes this
20 responses
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
28 Mar 10
Get him a plastice playphone. That should keep him busy. while you are on the phone. Hopefully then he will realise how childish his reactions are. TATA.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
29 Mar 10
Now i am wondering, was it for the misspelled word or the whole litte story. TATA.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
30 Mar 10
I will make sure to think of something even more funny next time. That will keep you busy. TATA.
• United States
28 Mar 10
your husband sounds hardcore jealous. or nosey for real. have you ever asked him to mind his own business? or do the same thing to him and maybe a taste of his own medicine will be good for the man. have HIM start answering the phone from now on.
• Canada
28 Mar 10
i have tried all of those things and it hasn't solved the problem. he just doesn't get it
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
oh my gosh, that is so stressful. that can create huge gaps in your marriage. you said you already tried talking to him but he has not heeded any of your requests? that's tough. I suggest that you dont give up talking to him, who knows one day he might change. or you can show him that you trust him completely, maybe he will reciprocate. :)
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
29 Mar 10
Hi, pop. Your husband really needs to take a chill pill! He is very rude and obnoxious. He can't surely possibly expect you to talk to him at the same time while you are on the phone with someone else. That is selfish and mean. He needs some serious counseling. If he does not ever change, then you will need to move on with your life and seek better treatment than what you are getting from help. He needs to stop acting like a child by following you around like he does. He really needs to get a grip on himself. The way that he is acting towards you is not cool at all. It is cruel and inconsiderate. He can't expect you to spend every wakening moment with him. You need a life outside of your marriage too. He needs to find him something worthwhile to do, rather than just getting on your nerves. Having a man like this, can make me lose total interest.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
29 Mar 10
Hi there, How in the heck do you put up with it? Is he like that only when you are on the phone? If it were me, I'd tell the other person that my husband can't handle me being on the phone so I will call them back when he isn't around. I wouldn't even attempt to try to talk with him following me around and talking at me. Have you tried talking to him about this? You should print this thread out and leave it where he can find it.
@myzire72 (1157)
• Singapore
29 Mar 10
Well, it seems to me that either your husband does not trust you, or he runs a very a tight control over you. You are not alone. I've friends who are like you - their spouses always check on them, whether it's a phone call, a text message, or even the people they socialize with. It's indeed a stressful thing to endure. You better be careful not to let him have any misunderstandings about you. Meanwhile, try to assure him that nothing's going on behind his back and he should focus on some other meaningful things instead.
@syankee525 (6298)
• United States
29 Mar 10
yeah that would me nuts too. i would have to tell him straight up to knock it off. yeah sound like he got some issues with trust, and low self esteem.. but i would have to be straight up with him, if that was my wife i would be a smart a$4 i am talking to my girlfriend now shut up. lol
@yanna08 (29)
29 Mar 10
your husband has reached the maximium level of being jealous. he is very jealousy maybe because he is the doing the hanky panky?
• China
29 Mar 10
Well,you have a lovely husband. I wish he do this is just for fun.But if he drives your nuts times and times,you may take him to a psychologist.
@besthope44 (12146)
• India
29 Mar 10
Well, this is strange..why dont you talk to your hubby. Lets both of you sit and talk, convey your feelings to him and make him understand that you dont like these stuffs. Trust and mutual understanding is required to develop, so talk with him.
@SViswan (12095)
• India
29 Mar 10
My husband doesn't try to listen in on my conversation but he seems to need me for small-small things when he is at home and gets irritated when anyone calls. I don't have too many people calling me. It's usually my sister for some work and often I directly ask her to call later because I'm busy. My friends do not call often to chat and often it is for something that they call and my husband is usually showing me his irritation while I am on a phonecall and I find I can't really pay attention to what the other person is saying because I'm trying to cut the call short.
@carmenzhj (120)
• New Zealand
29 Mar 10
Have you ever tried to talk to your husband in a quite mannner. Tell him how you feel about the whole thing, and ask him why he does it in that way? Let him know what he does now is actaully hurting your feelings. It seems he's trying seeking your attention, or having trusting issue with you. Have your phone has one of those speaker function? Maybe try to put that on the next time you answer your phone and maybe after a while you can anwer your phone in the normal way. Does your husband work a lot of times? Do you see each other often apart from working hours? My husband once were like that 5 year ago, but after our talked then I found out that he was actually seeking my attention because he working quite long hours that time and when he came back I was on the phone with my mum. He just wanted to know how my day was. So now he is much better person now. So try to talk it out.
@cutepenguin (6458)
• Canada
29 Mar 10
Wow. Is it possible to just plain ask him to stop? Because this would drive me absolutely bonkers.
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
29 Mar 10
It sounds like your husband has a problem with trust. If you have not given him a reason not to trust you, there must be some issues for him, before he met you. It doesn't sound as if he respects you and that is sad.
@Ladyslipper (1330)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
Hahahaha! I'm so sorry but imagining the scenario of you talking to someone over the phone and your husband following you and even talking to you while you're engaged in a conversation is like a scene in a gag show. But of course it's not funny in your situation. What made me laugh more about this situation is that I'm also in this same situation. I sometimes get mad at my husband for being so nosy. Whenever my personal cell phone rings or beeps because of a call or text messages he would race with me to get to the phone. He would check the phone to see who's calling or who has texted me. He was even able to know my password and username in Facebook. He got more jealous when he saw that one of my ex- boyfriend is included in my friends list. He was not able to get over it for almost a month and would always bug me about it and about deleting that person. I don't know why it was such a big deal to him. I told him to stop being nossy because he is being jealous for no reason at all. I can't give you any good advice as to how you will be able to stop your husband from doing this because honestly I have tried almost everything just to make my husband stop from being nosy but no good result. I just get used to it.
@dminotaur (134)
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
Well -- Either get him an extension phone or use the speaker phone when you speak with someone on the phone, that way he gets to listen to the whole thing and not need ask. In fact, he should just take the call -- tell him to take the call and do a relay. Whatever the caller says, he relays it to you - then you tell him to relay your message to the caller - that way, he'll realize just how annoying letting you repeat yourself about what transpired in the call.
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
Hi pop! I've been following your discussions and yOur husband is very unpredictable. He does this and does that. You need to talk maybe that could help...
28 Mar 10
My husband has a bad habit too. Whenever I am on the telephone he insits on talking to me and gives me messages to what to say to the person in the other end. When I ask him if he would like to take the phone he says no, but continues to talk to the person via me. Grrr it is so annoying.
@weasel81 (2502)
• Australia
28 Mar 10
i think we all like to know who the other person is on the phone to, but i do know what you mean in your hubby wanting to know everything. my partner is the same and he's getting worse. other wise it's come and sit with you and you want to talk a bit more privately. then mine will whinge when it's my mum, but his dad he doesn't say anything. as one other sugessted get him to answer the phone, fat chance in my case. he'll leave it as long as possible. i think it's a male thing.
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
i dont really have an idea. yeah i think he s jealous. or paranoid. some say it s a projection of what they re thinking if they get jealous with no particular reason at all. i dont really know.