Would You Be Mad If Your Boyfriend Is Addicted to Computer Games?

China
March 29, 2010 12:35am CST
My BF is addicted to on-line games. I became pretty irritated when he sat in the front of the screen staring at his games. We lack talk and communication. We had a talk about this, and I hope he can spend more time on me or something else instead of the games, but he told me the game was his only habbit. He dislikes traveling or going around, after the work, the best way to relax is to play games for him. I can't bear it. I don't know what to do. Maybe I can let him do what he wants, but I just can't control myself, I go crazy when he's addicted to on-line games.
3 people like this
28 responses
@ybong007 (6658)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
Why don't you try to play with him? this way you can make a compromise, you play together when you're through you can spend time together.
@my125125 (822)
• Malaysia
30 Mar 10
I agree with you, ybong, play game with your boy friend is the best way to keep your relationship, if you limit his playing time, may be next time he will also ask the same thing to limit what you want to do, try to share and understand with his interest.
• Canada
30 Mar 10
That's what I ended up doing. My husband is constantly playing his games, eventually we found something that I like and now I play more than he does!
• Indonesia
30 Mar 10
Yeah I agree with all of you..By playing the game together, you will find another way to spend the time.
@Draeke (324)
• United States
30 Mar 10
well, given that i am a guy and i cant really answer this one. I will say that online gaming can be very addicting, of which I am not guilty; although i have several console systems and computer games. I am not addicted to them in any way. I've found that those that are addicted are just so obsessed with the games that they lose all focus on the other important tings in their life, using the game as an escape from life. This may or may not be the case with your BF, I have no idea. I do know it would drive me crazy if my other half was so addicted to the game. I wish you best of luck in this issue you have with him.
@liera0 (280)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
your a responsible gamer ^.^
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
19 Oct 10
I'm actually the one in my relationship with my husband that is addicted to computer games and honestly it isn't something that bothers him at all. He works all day and works hard so when he gets home from work what he really wants to do is chill in front of the television. Because of that, I actually think that it is quite a relief to him that I spend a lot of time on the computer because that means that we don't bicker over the television.
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Hello Chiara, I believe you have problems on that area. If he wants to just play games at home and never went out for a date with you, then you have a problem. He is addicted obviously and he forgot what is his role in your life. I believe you can say to him that you want to go out, say to him that you want to go out like on Saturday so that he will schedule his computer games and will go out for a date with you. In this area, you are provided with attention. He can do what he wants, but at least he can entertain you first since you are the girlfriend, you need attention too. he is really addicted to computer games, even his reason is valid as an addiction. And one thing, he said the best way to relax is to play computer games, so it means he is not relax when he is with you, that is wrong!
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Hello Chiara, I believe you have problems on that area. If he wants to just play games at home and never went out for a date with you, then you have a problem. He is addicted obviously and he forgot what is his role in your life. I believe you can say to him that you want to go out, say to him that you want to go out like on Saturday so that he will schedule his computer games and will go out for a date with you. In this area, you are provided with attention. He can do what he wants, but at least he can entertain you first since you are the girlfriend, you need attention too. he is really addicted to computer games, even his reason is valid as an addiction. And one thing, he said the best way to relax is to play computer games, so it means he is not relax when he is with you, that is wrong!
@liera0 (280)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Even though its frustrating I never get mad if I talked to him and nothing happens, I end up the relationship. For me its just that the person didn't become a gamer after your together. I don't know if you knew way before he is gamer. I believe its not healthy to ask someone to change for same as I wont like it if I'm ask to change either. So as the saying goes " you cannot a bend a full grown bamboo without breaking it." Usually its quiet hard to ask someone to stop doing something he has gotten used to. But if it isn't too much either. Maybe try to check the game. Ask him about it. Maybe you'll find fun and you'll have something in common.
@sasalove (1710)
• China
30 Mar 10
I have experienced this with my ex. He is addicted to CS and sometimes he will play it for the whole night if he did not have any special plan for the holiday. I did every housework, like cooking, sweeping and laundry. I am not sure how important I am in his heart compared to the CS games, thus we ended up with splitting. We always argue on this. I do not have any regret after broking up though I know that how deep I love him. Now my hub treated me well and I feel happy for the current relationship. I just want to advise that do not manage to maintain the love if you are tired of it. Your real love is waiting for you ahead.
@jdyrj777 (6556)
• United States
30 Mar 10
Dont you think thats a little more perferable than if he was addicted to alchol and women???
• India
30 Mar 10
Chiara, It is right time you walk out of your BF's life. His statement that Computer games alone is habbit, doesn't make any sense of him as a responsible person. Computer, the internet etc. have progressed by leaps and bounds during the last decade. But it is not the only material to support any body with. The Monitor gives out a sizeable amout of radiation just as all electronic items. It will spoil one's health, particularly the eye sight. There are a lot of other things to enjoy in life, such as travelling, music, cinema, girlfriends, family, reading, sports, etc. etc. Your BF,as it appears, doesn't want to face the actual life with all its ups and downs, happiness and sadness, progress and fall, so on and so forth. To continue to live with such a games savvy is nothing but living with a wooden doll which produces no emotion at all whatsoever.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Any form of addiction is bound to affect relationships, be it boyfriend-girlfriend, friendship or even family life. People's attention go wander about and they seem to have no more time for anything else but what they're addicted to. Normally, boyfriends and girlfriends spend time together, but because of some addiction that time is cut down, and I don't think there's a girlfriend in the right mind who wouldn't get jealous of the time spent by her lover to the online games. I for one would do my best to destroy such game in order to regain attention. Yes, it may sound bad but what else could be do, right?
29 Mar 10
I think you really need to talk to him, communication goes a long way, and explain to him that you would like to have more of his time. In any relationship there has to be compromise and perhaps he would agree to spend less time playing and more time with you
@verabear (797)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
I feel like saying I've been there, because I have! :) My boyfriend was almost always glued right in front of his laptop whenever he was here. All he did was play online. He'd go from one game to another. It annoyed me because he spends more time on those than actually hanging out with me. But he's past that now, so we're cool. hehe. :)
@drshav (205)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
Ill definitely get mad especially if he has no time for me. My ex boyfriend was like that, he has no time for me anymore to the extend that he even forget our anniversary or my birthday. It actually sucks thats why i decided to broke up with him.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
29 Mar 10
hi chiarachang, we all have things that we like doing away from our partner and that is fine. In fact, we should have our own interests and things. It's what keeps a relationship interesting. Still, if his things are keeping you from having any time for each other then it isn't good. It would be like having no relationship at all and so what's the point? If there is nothing that the two of you enjoy together and there is no communication then you might want to consider if this is something you really want to continue on with. Life is short. You can spend your time with someone who enjoys doing things with you and enjoys your company as much as you do theirs OR you can sit around watching him play video games. My first husband was addicted to the tv and I couldn't stand it. We never did anything together. Our friends stopped coming over because he would just sit and stare at the tv. After a few years we drifted so far apart that we fell apart. I was really young then and I just couldn't see living my life out like that. We are all responsible for our own happiness,ChiaraChang. We all have choices. If he chooses to make his games more important than time with you then you have the choice to leave or stay.You can't force him to change but you can change your own situation. Good luck!
• United States
29 Mar 10
well for me..not really.he could be doing worse things. as long as he puts it down once in a while. the ones that irritate me are the guys that have huge tantrums when they lose,and slam paddles or something.you want to tell them it's just a game,dude.get the F over it.
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
im glad coz my bf is so serious about his life and very busy with his work, i dont have any bf who was addicted to any computer games as most of them are workaholic maybe because i choose guys thats more matured than me thats why they just think of their job and their family and lovelife and how to make their life good someday.
@carmenzhj (120)
• New Zealand
29 Mar 10
My husband is a gamer too, but we have come to the agreement that there's time for us to relax together and he gets his private time to play the game as well. I think you just need to talk to him and ask what he wants. Playing games is ok, but not playing 24/7 right. He gotta spend some time with you as well. Otherwise why does he need girlfriend?
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
Well, I used to have boyfriends that are addicted to video games too. I let them do whatever they want. It's okay for me, as long as he still have time for me. If he spends his time on the video games more than me, then that's the time I'll talk to him about it. I will say to him what I feel and what I want. I can understand him since I am addicted to something too.
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
29 Mar 10
Well, yes somtimes i get much addicted to car race, that i forget to eat and do my works. My wife will tell me patiently once or thrice. Next she will come at the other end and turn off my system lol. Then we do some hand fights haha, not a serious one. Then i cool and convince her. I can understand her feelings are true.
@tina256 (190)
• China
29 Mar 10
to be frank ,my boyfriend is a game fun as well before. i also got crazy at that time .i have asked him ,stop to play game online ,even have the tone like a begger. so pathetic ,right ? but he can not hear anything . i often quarreled with him at that time . but i think different people have different solution. i remembered he has to work and have any other things make him busy ,so he can not lean on the online game . i think maybe your boyfriend will understand someday ,as ,it is not good for being addicted to computer games.