I dont want to break his heart.

Canada
March 29, 2010 8:55am CST
I really dont want to break the heart of my current boyfriend. I love him, I do but I just dont feel like we should be dating anymore. My heart breaks and aches everytime I think about it. Im lost. Has anyone ever been like this? What's your story?
18 responses
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
Hi! What's the problem? Why do you want to stop dating with your boyfriend if you both love each other? Are you having a forbidden or illegal relationship? Is one of you committed to someone else? Is one of who has a spouse? If it's really an illegal love, then yes, even how painful it is, you should stop your relationship for the sake of both of you and the people around you. Better stick to a legal relationship. Have a nice day! Happy myLotting!
• Canada
29 Mar 10
No, no, no. It's not a forbidden or illegal relationship. Neithe of us have a spouse or anything like that. I love him but there is just something inside of me that's saying I need something else and that I need something different in my life. I feel almost as if Im not being entirely myslf when Im with him. And I hate that! I want to ask him to take a break and date only each other without the relationship pressure but Im afraid he'll take that the wrong way.
@cloud31 (5811)
29 Mar 10
@artsyfartsygypsy!You may getting bored on your set up, give space to each other,sometimes relationship gets the feeling of boredom when at all times having the same routine, try new things to revive your feelings , these doesn't mean you don't love him anymore just sometimes it happened to long time engagement or relationship.. Try to make space and make things in your relationship,and you will see, you gonna missed him..
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
Oh ok. Well, in that situation, you should talk to your boyfriend about your feelings. You should be open to each other. Tell him what you really feel and tell him your suggestions. I believe it's not always taking a break that will give solution to that problem, coz it may lead to a more complicated situation and even worse like break-up. So what I can suggest is, talk to your boyfriend and plan something different. You can still regenerate your love to each other by doing new things, explore different places. Well, you should talk to your boyfriend, and don't decide alone coz it will be unfair to him. Well, I believe you can still get back the love that you are having before, help each other. Goodluck!
• China
30 Mar 10
I think you have encountered a special stage in your love. This is like a low tide of your whole love process. If you can bear each other more I strongly believe both of you will pass this stage and have a successful love. The key point is that are you sure you loved him before? If it's yes then has he changed a lot? If it is no I think he is still worth your love and you should keep on.
@DuyenN (68)
• Canada
30 Mar 10
Before you break up with him, take a step back and think to yourself if you really love him. When you love someone, you won't have that feeling of wanting to break up. Maybe you are in the breaking point, where you start to wonder if you could do better because now that you've seen most of his characteristics, you're asking yourself if you're too good for him. If you're lost, ask him for a break. Tell him that you're confused and that you need some time alone to figure out what to do and where you really want to go with the relationship. Sometimes a break is not a bad thing, as long as you don't have someone else in mind. However, if you have someone else in mind, it's always better to be the bigger person and take out the honesty card. The reason why your heart breaks and aches is because you never thought you would be the first out of the two of you to feel this way. It's fine to feel this way. You're doubting him and in the process you're doubting yourself. Have a long heart to heart talk, maybe after talking to him...you might feel differently. I know that whenever I have doubt, I would talk to the guy and most of the times, I realize that I'm unconsciously hoping that he would find reasons for us not to break up. I'm not sure if your feeling is in the same category. Do be gentle and honest. Good luck to you and hope you will find the answer to your heart.
@myzire72 (1157)
• Singapore
30 Mar 10
Have you thought over it thoroughly? If you are very sure you have to bring an end to your relationship, then just do it. Don't drag, it will not do both of you any good. Don't worry about breaking his heart. His heart will break anyway, but time will heal his wounds. So, just tell him your reasons and hopefully he understands and lets you go.
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
I don't get it..you said you love? Are sure what you really feels? because if you do you won't feel that way at all..
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
you badly need space, think first before letting him go. and also explain it to him.
• China
30 Mar 10
If you and your boyfriend love each other, why your heart breaks and aches dating everytime?you try to chat with your boyfriend to resolve this problem. I believe lover each other will face any trouble together.
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
If you do not want to break his heart, then don't! If you love him like you said, then stay by his side. Maybe you're just in the phase of your relationship where you feel unsecured.
• India
30 Mar 10
I don’t have any story but I think you are cheating him more than you think. If you really don’t want this relation to continue then why are you leading him up the garden path? You might feel bad about breaking his heart, but in the future, he will be thankful to you for your honesty and respect you more. You are scared that you might part after lot of bad feelings but its better than keeping another person under illusion about love.
@bernjane (143)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
My friendly advice is don't think too much negative for it might be the reason why most relationship failed. If i were you, i just get busy with my own career and one day you'll be surprise your boyfriend will miss you even more. Sometimes, we should have to deal with another rather than spending time with our partners because for a fact we have our own life to face and it's not like everyday we need to deal just for us but for another too. Maybe just think positive for relationship to work.
@1anurag1 (3580)
• India
29 Mar 10
its a bit different kind of thing when you love him why you dont like to have a date with that person. i think either in reality you dont love him and just try to be with him so that he could not get hurt. i think you should talk to him on the ground for these things so that he could be prepare for future.
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
hi! please don't get mad with my question. but, i really don't get the point of breaking up with your boyfriend when you said you still love him? maybe you just can't mention or elaborate further your reason but don't you think you just need a little more time or rather a little space to breathe before you really decide on breaking up with him? but if you're really decided then you should do it now. because the longer you take it with yourself the longer you prolong his agony. it will be much painful for the both of you if you won't tell him now. and it will be unfair for him also. been in the situation before... i love him but there's really this something that i can't bear with him. with regards to future stability, you know what i mean right. but still i love him so much, that's why maybe im contented with life now. and i realized that there could be no better future for me if without him by my side. i am hoping that you'd find the best answer for your problem. we'll pray for it, and everything, and that whatever you decide on it'll be the best for both you. god bless. and happy mylotting.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
29 Mar 10
Seems as if, the love has been replaced by 'sympathy'.... Of course, if you loved him, you'd have dated him... You don't want to, which implies that you don't love him any more. And yet, you don't wish to break his heart, which implies a lot of sympathy... I am sorry for stating the facts (collected from your post) so harshly, but this is a delicate issue which must be handled with care... Is he weak willed or strong one? If he loves you from the bottom of his heart, then no one will be able to save him... He'll go crazy, for you... He might get into drinking and then into different psychological disorders etc... Trust me, these words come from my own experience.. Oh but, if he is strong willed and ready to Move On.. Then I think, it is the right time to break up... Have a good time and hey, please let us know how it goes...
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
Oh my gosh, I've been in the same situation. My last boyfriend for 4 months, I loved him too but it felt like I don't want to be with him anymore. I just don't text or call him anymore, to make him feel I'm not interested anymore, and that's it. After many weeks, he broke up with me. At least I didn't break his heart, I guess.
@cloud31 (5811)
29 Mar 10
Better tell him the whole reason,its unfair for him if you just leave him behind without knowing your reason! Try to talk to him about things why you need to avoid him..You just think of the good times you have been together so make things clear for both..
@khalida (1130)
• India
29 Mar 10
i think all you need is a break. may be to chill things down. but the question is, if you love him then why do u feel like breaking up with him?? think what is the reason that is troubling u! once u find it, try to solve it by talking with your boyfriend. or else think if the reason is worth leaving a sweet guy1 the choice is yours! :)
@dreamnishu (1253)
• China
29 Mar 10
I think your boy friend also love you so much. If yes then tell him the truth. Hope you will understand. And don't break everything in one time. Batter to keep in touch. Then you both will feel batter. So then you and your boyfriend hearts will not break. Yes it happens one time with me. But i couldn't break up the relation as my lover love me so much and me too.
@khyle6 (20)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
you just need to face the reality and tell your boyfriend the truth... better to hurt him now than hurt him in the long run by keeping him on the line when you don't love him. it is just unfair.