March 29, 2010 11:06am CST
What's the first step toward happiness? I mean, I recognize I am not happy and I wonder if this is the first step, followed by the true search of what could make me happy and than the real thing, or if this feeling is just bringing me down, and it would just be better not to think about being happy or not... What do you think about it? Do you ever ask yourself whether you are happy or not?
29 Mar 10
my dear... i missed you. i think the first step is to define what happiness means to you. each of us has our own definition of the word. and it's not limited to what you can read from the dictionary. then the next thing is to recognize what will make you happy or what can bring you happiness. if you think you are not happy then ask yourself what will make you happy and do you know how to get it or where to get it... i think everybody deserves happiness. no one was born and destined to be unhappy. it's nobody's goal. there are times that i'm happy, there are times when i'm not. and yes, i often ask myself whether or not i am... happy. happiness is a choice. our thoughts, beliefs, words and actions affect our concept of happiness and its realization. if you want to be happy, you should know what will make you happy, which direction to take, and who should be part of your happiness.
29 Mar 10
Hi Myles, I missed you too and it's nice to read you here now. I also think happiness is not the same for all of us, but I am afraid sometimes even if we interrogate ourself about what we want... well, that's not what would make us happy. I must say I am really lucky with my life, I have a lot of people who love me dearly and I love them. If I were to say what I would want my life to look like, I would describe it very similar to what I have. BUT. That's not what mekes me happy. I feel ancious, sometimes I can't breath when I realize what I have is not what I need, and I am scared to destroy my loved ones lives. Because if I were to really decide to change everything and try to pind my happiness somewhere else, I would destroy my family. So I just smile and assure everybody that everything's just fine. And I go on.
7 Apr 10
Well, if I don't really think about it and I go on with my routine, I can live quite well. I like being with friends and I'm a cheerful person. In theese days I'm trying to be happy with what I have, since I'm not sure that what I would want is actually the best... love Lin
30 Jul 10
Ya,i am happy what i have. Happiness is not what you get but what you give. Try to give happiness to others even if we do not get any thing in return. It would mean a lot to them .When we give happiness to others, naturally what goes around comes around. Happiness never ends,it lives on! happiness brings an end to sadness, hatred, jealousy and sufferings. So,never let happiness flow out of your hand as it may never come back.
7 Aug 10
Thanks for sharing your point of view with us... it is another way of helping, too. I also think that trying giving happiness to others also gives it to us, I often put others before myself. The problem comes when this becomes such a habit that people takes it for granted... But I guess that wasn't the case you were talking about. Keep happy and thanks for your opnion. Linda
5 Apr 10
Happiness for me = 1. God can run the command 2. Obey parents 3. Helping families and the general public 4. Sharing happiness 5. Achievement at school increasing 6. Works published my book 100. Get money. This is not naive. I just want to speak from the heart.
7 Apr 10
Hi Kandangtips, I'm glad you can clearly say what happiness is to you, I wish you to achieve your happiness, whatever the form of it. As for myself, I also can be happy for small things and so, but there's always a hidden feeling of sadness. Maybe it's ok to have it...
29 Mar 10
I think the first thing u should do for u to be really happy is to appreciate urself and other people around u. They said that we are the one whos responsible to make ourselves happy. Try to ask urself what are the things that can make u happy, do u need someone to make u happy? do u think theres something missing in ur life thats why u think ur not happy? Just remember real happiness comes within ourselves.
29 Mar 10
I feel that my life is "perfect" from many points of view, but I changed so much that I don't recognize myself anymore, and I don't like it. I think freedom is too big of a word to say that I don't have it, but, well, I don't feel at ease doing things I would before, just because I know my husband wouldn't like it. And I'm not talking about being unfaithful here. And this is only one of the matters.
29 Mar 10
hi xiaolin. i personally feel that identifying and recognizing whether we are happy or not should be the very first step. it allows us to identify some of the problems that make us unhappy in order to move on to look for appropriate measures or solutions to the problems. i love asking myself with words beginning with 'what, why, how....etc' to help me around. looks like you are on the right track. just keep moving ahead. best wishes.
29 Mar 10
Thanks Tomitomi, I also like asking myself questions. I spend a lot of time talking to myself and wondering about a lot of things. But, strangely, I wasn't used to ask myself whether I was happy or not. I was quite sure I could feel it without questioning myself too much. I also usually get excited for very simple things and I laugh very often. The realization was very sudden, actually. And it took quite a bit to really understand it, after. But I'm afraid I won't be able to really achieve happiness, in the end.