Have you ever been in the Sink or Swim situation?

@laydee (12815)
Philippines
March 30, 2010 8:58am CST
"Sink or swim" is a situation where you will either fail or you will find a way to succeed. " Example: "Sales is not an easy job here. We give you two weeks training, then it's sink or swim." If you are thrown into the water, you will either sink to the bottom or you will swim to safety. You will either fail, or you will find a way to succeed, in a situation that is sink or swim. Example: "How do you interview new teachers here?" Reply: "We just put them in with the kids, and see how they do. It's sink or swim." Sink or swim" means that you will either succeed, or you will fail completely, at what you are trying to do. How did you go about it? I could recall a few years back, I was making my Thesis for my Masters when I encountered a very unimaginable circumstance, the spouse of my Professor approached me one day (through email) stating that she was the one checking through my Thesis and found that I was 'off' the topic. This happened like a few weeks before the Graduation. She told me to meet her somewhere for consultation, upon meeting up with her at a local restaurant, she told me that she could clean up the Thesis herself (since she's an expert - so she says she is) for a fee. The fee was a substantial amount. I could pay if I wanted to, but the thought of her as my teacher's spouse and offering me this is just awful. I didn't know how to react. Well, I told her I'd think about it then she mentioned I didn't need to tell my teacher about the meeting - to which I was puzzled. I needed to meet up with my Prof. the end of the week and when I met up with him, he seemed hmmm.. weird he said that I am on my way with the paper and the paper was fine. No mention of his wife, etc. but I was cautious. Well, to make the long story short, I opted to do the paper myself. Polished it the way I could and called her up to tell her that I won't be needing the service because I have gone this far (to start cheating, but I didn't say that to her) and should I pass, I'd want it with my own effort. That was my sink or swim. I'm glad I showed myself I can do it. I passed and swam like hell for it.
3 responses
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
31 Mar 10
I've discussed this issue many times, but my "sink or swim" was almost a year ago when I had to make the decision to either break up with my fiance and lose him forever after breaking his heart or getting married and making my parents extremely upset. I hate being put in these situations because I'm not someone who likes conflict. However, my "sink or swim" opportunity I am now thankful for because it caused me to grow a backbone and stand up for what I believe in. I had to give it a LOT of thought and consideration, but I believe I made the correct choice. I chose to marry the love of my life on July 11, 2009, whether my parents ever wanted to see me again after that or not. At that point, they had even started turning my family against me, but I looked at it as my true family would always be there for me. Once I got married, I had my husband's family too! I'm glad I made the decision I did because, as was true in your situation as well, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was the right decision. You probably felt the pressure like crazy to make your decision! You had a deadline so only had a certain amount of time to make your decision. The pressure makes you want to go crazy! I know because I've been there! Now almost nine months after our wedding, my parents and family are completely fine with our marriage and can't wait for us to have kids - LOL! It's amazing how things work out. I think for you and me, because we made the right choice everything worked out for the best. I'm glad we both chose to swim, and I'm so encouraged by your story. Thanks for sharing. This is one of the best discussions I've come across in a long time!
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Oh simply amazing. Have you ever wondered what would have happened had you not done what you did? I'm just wondering why some parents really are to the point of disowning their kids for something they didn't want - like you marrying the person they don't like.
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
4 Apr 10
To be honest with you, I looked at this situation from ever view imaginable. So yes, I definitely wonder what would've happened if I'd made a different decision while at the same time I'm eternally grateful for the decision I did make! It does make me wonder what was going through my parents' minds at the time. I mean, I don't know yet what it's like to be a parent, but I know for me, controlling me is the worst possible thing anyone can do because I believe in making my own decisions to the best of my ability. I'm not a robot! God gave us free will to make choices to the best of our knowledge. I know this circumstance made me stronger as an individual and I think even strengthened my marriage for the long haul. I'm just so thankful for everything in this experience, even my parents not being for my marriage originally. I grew a backbone through it all. I'm glad it all worked out. Thanks again for posting such an excellent discussion.
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
4 Apr 10
I apologize - I don't think I did your comment justice. I have wondered what would happen if I hadn't made the decision I did...let me tell you the answer of what I think would've happened had I gone with what my parents wanted. I think if I chose not to marry my husband, I would've broken his heart forever and never had the opportunity to be with him ever again. It would've proved to him that I didn't really love him as I told him I did, and he would've thought my parents and their opinions were more important to me than who he was to me. I think my parents would've been thrilled at first, but perhaps regretful down the road because I would've been so depressed and saddened over my decision. I don't think I would've ever seen my man again. I think I would've grown to resent my parents. I think they would look at it as if they had won over my heart and attempted to control my life and all other aspects of it from then on, which wouldn't be right. This decision of mine was my way of showing my hubby I love him and showing my parents I won't be controlled anymore. When they came around and were accepting of my marriage, they had our complete acceptance of them! So it really did work out.
@Sir_bobby88 (8245)
• Singapore
30 Mar 10
Well i had always sink into the pool struggling to swim yea laugh out loud .
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
i guess life's like that. Sink or swim. I applied for a call center way back. Thing is, they were hurrying up and it cut most of the training schedule to only 4 days. What they did was put the trainees live after it. If they handled the call then they're in. If not then they're out. I got in.