Would you invite a vegan and a strict meat lover to dinner together?

@mommyboo (13207)
United States
March 30, 2010 9:09am CST
I'm trying to figure out the ulterior motives behind this. Even if I had friends who fit into these categories, I think I would only invite them together IF I knew neither of them would push each other's buttons while at my home having dinner. If they'd never met each other before, the whole thing would be too scary of a proposition. Taking myself for example - I would and could NEVER be vegetarian or vegan. Doesn't mean I don't like vegetables, I do, but as long as there is meat to be had, I'll want that too. I'm sure I could be polite and civil and even enjoy time spent with someone who does not and would never eat meat - as long as they didn't rag me or try to convince me otherwise. The problem with this whole thing is that people tend to want to gain supporters for their site. People are always trying to convert each other to whatever they think is the cool thing. Why, I don't know. Anyway, because of it, it causes a lot of divisions over something petty.....
1 person likes this
25 responses
@LadyMarissa (12165)
• United States
31 Mar 10
Yes, I would invite both assuming I knew their temperament!!! I'm a Carnivore much like you are. I can eat veggies & enjoy them, but put a piece of meat on the table & I'll SMILE!!! I've been to Vegan dinners & have enjoyed some excellent food, but as soon as I got home, I dove into leftover steak!!! Personally, I think Vegans & Carnivores are much like Christians & Atheists or Republicans & Democrats, they just need to accept each other for who they are & NOT discuss it!!! You can't convert somebody who does NOT want to be converted. My nephew married a Vegan & we have meat for the rest of the family with plenty of vegetables & vegan casseroles so she doesn't go hungry & it has worked very well for the last 3 years. I have to give her credit though, she has NEVER once tried to convert any of us EXCEPT my nephew. If I knew my Vegan friend was one of those always trying to convert others, I probably wouldn't be inviting them anyway or would point out along with the invite that I felt the conversion should take place some other time!!! The same goes for the Carnivore. I am an avid believer in live & let live. If two adults can't go to a friend's home & act like adults, then neither should be invited!!!
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
I loved this post, and I miss seeing you - yes it's because I've been missing but I still wanted to say that! There are times when I can enjoy wonderful vegetarian dishes, among them one of my favorites is pasta dishes, also creamy soups, and i like salads with all sorts of fresh veggies - but I'd never eat vegan because I have to have cheese and other dairy products. You can't convert somebody who does NOT want to be converted I agree absolutely. That is one of the things I don't understand. Why do people have such a hard time NOT doing this? It is obnoxious, irritating, and it NEVER WORKS! LOL!
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12165)
• United States
3 Apr 10
OMG CHEESE!!! If my hubby ever cooked something he thought I might not like, he just threw cheese on top of it. He said he could put cheese on chit & I'd eat it like it was delicious!!! Well, he was right!!!
1 person likes this
@marguicha (76357)
• Chile
31 Mar 10
I invite together people who have things in common so that the conversation will be fluid. I have invited many times people who have to eat different types of food, but that is not the conversation piece. Fortunatly I keep all kind of fanatisms away from my life if I can. I eat meat but have friends who donĀ“t. I am an agnostic but have friends that are very observant. I have friends of different political tendencies and they can talk about other things. Many times I invite all my friends for a Spring barbecue. Some of them are vegetarian or vegan. They eat the salads. I suppose it depends on th kind of friends you have. Happy posting!
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
That seems to work well - have a bbq and have plenty of different things so everybody can eat. When I do food for parties and bbqs, we always have burgers and hot dogs, perhaps steaks and some type of chicken and/or fish, but also plenty of salads, potato and pasta, raw veggies, grilled veggies, fresh fruit, drinks, etc, chips and dip. I think the key is making sure there is something for everybody, regardless of what they eat, and also for those who are trying to eat healthier things...
1 person likes this
@kprofgames (3021)
• United States
31 Mar 10
I wouldn't have a problem with this and frankly if these were people I knew and my 'friends' then there wouldn't BE any situation. I don't like annoying or pushy people. To each their own but I don't invite people over just so I can sell tickets to see what happens next - I think if these are people that you know, then they will respect everyone's veiws and not try to cram their own points down another's. Every meal needs balance and respecting what people want is the key to being a good host; however, any dinner guest has to respect the host's home too. No, I wouldn't have a problem. If there was, then I would know who not to invite to my home again.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Well, if this were MY situation, I would expect the people to treat each other kindly AND I would make sure I provided food for BOTH. The reason I posted this was because the hosts in this situation were also vegan and they really didn't provide any options for their friend who wasn't. I find this disrespectful to the non-vegan and I never would have done a thing like that. I think they were BAD hosts!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Sure. We used to have a boss who was vegan. He'd join us during drinking sessions, and parties. And we'd invite him out to dinner. It wasn't so hard because he would order food he can eat, and well, we just ate whatever we wanted to eat. He sticks to his beliefs without trying to convince us to join his crusade. After all, he did it alone, he can finish it alone.
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@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
I like your boss That is, of course, the best way to do it.
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@cripfemme (7719)
• United States
31 Mar 10
Yes, I've done this. In fact, I dated a vegan off and on for about eight years. I'm not a vegan. I'm a Pennsylvania meat and potatoes girl. We get along. The trick is to make sure there are mutually acceptable dishes in abundance for both people. Ethiopian food works really well. They have a lot of vegetable entrees with substance. I think a lot of times carnivores are looking for substance as opposed to the actual flavor of meat. The carnivores I know (myself included) really like the feeling of a full belly more than vegetarians do. As long as you can fill everybody's belly, I think you'll be on your way to having a good dinner party with happy guests.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
LOL! The reason I posted this is basically because it was a vegetarian/vegan couple who invited another vegan friend/activist to their home, as well as a friend who was NOT vegan lol. They made the friend eat vegan food.... I thought the person was going to go ballistic lol! I would have declined the dinner invite and gone to the Outback lol.
1 person likes this
@laglen (19783)
• United States
30 Mar 10
I have friends from both categories. When having a dinner party I do invite both. The party is meant for entertaining more than the food. I have never had a problem with a friend causing a problem. Just let them know ahead of time.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
As long as there was something I could eat - meaning it was not ALL veggie burger, soy product, etc, I would likely be fine. Now if there was NOTHING I could eat because it was all vegetarian/vegan friendly and not anything I would normally eat, there would be a problem.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
why not and its not really a big problem. all you have to do is prepare both foods made from pure vegetables and foods with meat so they can just choose what they want. and i guess you must have a variety of foods to choose from if you know that you will invite a vegan and a meat lover and avoid talking about whats in vegetables nor in meat nor avoid comparing the two to avoid arguments. better talk ab\\\out different topic.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Yes, as long as there is a variety of food to choose from, things should be fine in theory. This discussion was actually based on people who had never met each other before, one of which was a strict vegan and one who probably wouldn't touch a vegetable if you paid him... the general problem was that the people HAVING the dinner were also veg... and the food they served was not 'meat-eater friendly'....
1 person likes this
@cupkitties (6689)
• United States
30 Mar 10
Thats going to depend on their attitude. If they are the type that think they are God over what everyone else eats, then no I can't see that happening. They need to be able to accept each others difference.
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@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Exactly . The example I was thinking of when I came up with this discussion was pretty hilarious....
1 person likes this
@RawBill1 (8542)
• Gold Coast, Australia
31 Mar 10
I have no problem with doing this and have been in this situation many times. I eat mostly vegan (actually mostly raw vegan) but I would have to class myself as a vegetarian as I eat eggs from the chickens that friends of mine own. I do not eat meat and do not agree with eating it, but I used to, so would not put down people who do. The same way that I never put down vegetarians or vegans when I was a meat eater. The last two family Christmas lunches have been a mixture of vegan, raw-vegan and meat dishes and everyone got along fine, respectfully letting each person eat their own dishes. I like to share with people the benefits that I get out of not eating meat, but I try not to force my opinion on them. If people are genuinely interested, then I can talk to them for hours on the subject! It can be a bit like a religion to some though. When it comes down to it, we should be inviting people to functions determined on their personalities and not on what they are eating. The food is only an excuse to get together and share quality time with others in my opinion.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Do you eat any other dairy items or just eggs? I actually think it makes more sense for someone who USED to be a meat eater to choose to be vegetarian later, than it does for someone who is raised vegetarian to go on about how meat is bad - because they NEVER ATE IT lol. Just like someone who has never known but ONE religion doesn't (in my opinion) have as much experience of what is out there as somebody who has tried several different religions. Food is a wonderful thing that is usually included in most get togethers, and at least I still think most people see it that way and enjoy what they get to sample!
@RawBill1 (8542)
• Gold Coast, Australia
3 Apr 10
I do not eat any dairy at all. Eggs are not really dairy. I only eat these eggs as I have seen how the chickens live and I know they are free to roam all over my friends properties. I have 3 lots of friends with chickens that we get eggs from. There is too many for their family to eat, so they give them away. I agree with you on that matter about experience. At least I know how my digestive system worked on meat and I know how much it has improved since I stopped eating it. I also know how blocked my sinuses used to get when I ate dairy and I now know how freely I can breathe. I have something to compare and I know others who have done the same as me speak of exactly the same sinus and digestive issues clearing up. People who are raised as vegans don't have anything to compare. They are sometimes more radical as they are only speaking from their values and not from meat and dairy eating experience.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
I'm not sure why I consider eggs dairy, maybe because that's how they seem to be grouped up. Eggs are actually a good whole source of protein and they are relatively healthy for you too. When I was probably 4 or 5 years old, I remember staying with a family who had farm animals, chickens, rabbits, goats, cows, sheep etc. They used everything from the animals, including the animals lol. We were waiting to close on our new house because we had moved from outside the country - alas my new house had no farm lol. It sounds like you're lactose intolerant? I know a lot of people who suffer from that. If I did (I don't) I would have to take something in order to keep eating dairy products lol. I can't live without cheese, sour cream, and ice cream lol.
@dawnald (84124)
• Shingle Springs, California
1 Apr 10
I would be fine with it. I'd just make enough different things so that nobody went away hungry...
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
But you definitely would not expect your veggies to eat meat and your meat eaters to eat veggie, right?
@dawnald (84124)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Apr 10
Nope, course not!
@mariposaman (2968)
• Canada
31 Mar 10
Some strict vegans can be quite fanatical so you have to be vert careful. If you have a lacto-ovo-vegetarian (eats eggs and milk) you could serve something like spagetti with tomato and cheese sauce, or a salad plate with cheese and eggs (optional cold cuts if you think you can get away with it). Some people who claim to be vegetarian really are not, they "sneak" an hamburger once in a while, or others claim to be vegetarian but eat fish or chicken. So you have to find out how strict they are.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
That's why I would probably ask my invited guests for suggestions of what to put on the menu for the dinner party. Some people eat veggie and soy products and 'meat', others don't. Some people would rather have no dairy, others can't live without it lol. If I were to have a vegetarian meal, I would prefer some type of pasta dish and a salad, with lots of different things i could add or have on it. I could deal with not having meat in either one as long as there was enough variety and ENOUGH food.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 10
No I wouldn't do that, I would not want to hear them argue and complain I would much rather enjoy dinner by myself.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
LOL! It would be hard for me too.... given that I am not a veggie. Clearly I'd feel bad for the meat eater lol.
• United States
30 Mar 10
If I knew the people real well I probably would invite them. I would make sure I had plenty of dishes for each of them to choose from. It's not much different than inviting drinkers and non-drinkers to come to a party.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Most non-drinkers I know never attempt to convince drinkers not to drink though. They just .... don't drink at social occasions.
@jb78000 (15178)
30 Mar 10
i'm vegetarian and i have never once tried to 'convert' somebody. i have been irritated by vegans who do and by meat eaters who say meat is essential. i certainly would not invite pushy people with opposing views to eat together. same goes for any other beliefs or opinions, not a good idea to invite an evangelical christian, an evangelical muslim and a pushy atheist to the same party unless you enjoy endless arguments.
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@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
LOL! I would actually not say certain things are essential, rather I eat what I like and that's how it is lol. Obviously either choice does not KILL people, or it takes a very very long time if it does, and that couldn't be proven because so many people die of diseases, old age, or accidents. Can you imagine if someone actually claimed to have been killed by being a carnivore or a vegetarian? That's so funny!
@katsmeow1213 (28715)
• United States
30 Mar 10
My husband does not eat vegetables, he's a strict meat eater. His sister is a vegetarian... not vegan, she'll eat eggs and milk and such, just nothing that's been butchered. And they grew up together.. add to that their father is diabetic and imagine the cooking difficulties in their house!! I've had vegetarians over for dinner, while trying to please my meat loving hubby. Aside from his sister I know of 1 other vegetarian who has stayed a weekend with us. It's not difficult as long as you have things that person will eat. When a vegetarian comes over I make sure I have veggie burgers or a Morning Star product in my freezer. Or else I'll make a pasta dish that doesn't involve meat.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
My hubby loves meat too - as do I. I am not against serving a variety of things, my issue is that I would never cater specifically to a vegetarian by NOT having meat with dinner. Does that make sense? I'd probably ask what sorts of things they liked, for instance just fresh items or veggie burgers and soy products too. Point is, I will make sure I include things they like and can eat, but I am not willing to deprive MYSELF or other people I love in order to make them happy.... If I served a pasta dish, I might divide it up so I have a serving bowl of pasta with JUST pasta and sauce and perhaps mushrooms, zucchini, etc, AND a serving bowl of pasta with pasta, sauce, veggies, and grilled chicken. I think that is perfectly fair.
@sumanadep (1230)
• India
30 Mar 10
I am a vegetarian and so are some of my friends. I have many friends who are strict non-vegetarian. I have been invited with other non-vegetarian friends on dinner but we have never been in an argument on the dinner table about it. Arguments does happen but when we meet outside and it has never turned to a fight. I think it such talks should be consider as view of an individual about veg and non-veg.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
So nobody tries to convince others to be veg or non-veg? Granted some of what I've seen may have been for effect, but I have seen some doozies!
@___SKY___ (542)
• Hong Kong
31 Mar 10
Yes why not.... I will prepare 2 dish so they can enjoy what they love to eat. I gonna ask and explain first both lol. For sure they would understand it. Have a nice day and Happy Lotting..
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@madteaparty (2763)
• Japan
30 Mar 10
Umm... I don't have any problem with eating with both at the same time, but I know that strict vegans are very pushy, and they usually don't respect other's opinions, so that person would be bothering the meat lover all the dinner. If I knew that the strict vegan is going to be respectful, then I would invite them together.
@jb78000 (15178)
30 Mar 10
not all are. there are some evangelical vegans and vegetarians out there (and they are highly annoying, even to other vegans) and i would not recommend inviting them and strict carnivores to eat together. normal people should be fine, whatever their diets.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
That's why I asked this. Normal folks really don't have issues over what someone else eats. These 'activist' types.... they do. I don't really know why, I don't see that it does any good convincing anybody, in fact taking myself for example, I could care less what someone else eats or doesn't eat - the only time it crosses a line is if any person attempts to convince me TO eat or NOT to eat something. Therefore, trying to be an activist for your cause is going to result in me doing whatever it was you didn't want. You know, I'm all about teaching people a lesson that they need to bother only with themselves.
@setsuna26 (2410)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
There is what we call respect for each others likes and dislikes. For example if your a vegetarian seated next to someone who isn't. Then most likely you wont have to say or talk about how good vegetables are compared to what he is eating, that is with respect to what he likes. You may say something good bout vegetables if asked but not for you to start a conversation bout the said food specially it might offend the other person again this is due to your respect for others.It wont be scary at all to invite both a vegan and meat lover specially people tend to have alot of common thing about each other you as a host can raise that as a topic to connect both guests and to promote friendship without having to deal with what they like to eat.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
As long as you know the people invited would be okay and you WERE going to include foods/items that would please both...
@34momma (13918)
• United States
30 Mar 10
Yeah i would do the same. I mean this is a dinner party after all. we don't want folks coming to blows over what we should and shouln't eat.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
3 Apr 10
And since I would be the one planning the menu (perhaps with a bit of input from the guests), I would expect since each of them had some type of say about what could be included, they'd just come to dinner and leave it at that lol.