How do you make them feel special?

By Jess
@JJ4Ever (4704)
United States
March 30, 2010 7:24pm CST
When I was a teenager, I had so many wonderful mentors - married women who taught me how to someday take care of a husband. I'm so thankful for them because now that I'm married, I can apply all the things I've learned. One particular mentor I was very close to. She told me it was always important to greet my husband when he would get home from work. She also said to leave love notes for him in his pockets or wherever he would find them during the day. This I haven't done yet. I could use the excuse that I don't have time, but I haven't made time to do this so I'm interested to experience the results. I would like to implement more things into my life that I know will make my husband feel special. I mean, I spend time with him as it is, wash his clothes and work uniform, cook dinner, the usual things. However, I would like to go the extra mile to make him feel special and like he is the most wonderful thing ever. My question is, what do you do to make your spouse or significant other feel special? I'd love to read your ideas so I can try them on my husband. I will definitely let you know the results of your great ideas!
2 people like this
12 responses
@hellcowboy (7383)
• United States
31 Mar 10
This is a good discussion and I know that everyone wants to show their significant other that they love them,and I am glad that you show your husband that you love him and think he is special,and I think my wife is the most special person in the whole wide world and I love her,and I always tell her I love her and that she is beautiful and I try to do stuff for her including helping her with video games and stuff and I try to cuddle with her as much as possible,and I will stop playing a video game or doing other things to be with her whenever she asks me to,because I always put her first.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Apr 10
I had to chuckle when I read about you "helping" her with video games - he he! Does she really play? That's pretty neat if she does! That is sweet of you to help her in something you both enjoy. I also think you are SUCH a good husband for putting her first when it comes to video games. My sister-in-law ALWAYS complains about how much my brother plays video games and NEVER spends time with her cuddling and such. Of course, I think she over exaggerates a little bit because my brother really does spend time with her, and he's a good husband who takes care of her! However, I think it's great that you put your wife first. That is the best thing you can do is a husband. It's so neat learning how wonderful of a marriage you have. That is great! It'll be a year before you know it! Thanks for sharing, my friend. It is a pleasure hearing from you.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Apr 10
P.S. I play video games sometimes with my husband too. I also recognize that he's a guy, therefore, he loves to play games. That's his fulfillment in life - LOL! Just kidding, but I'm sure you understand how that goes. My husband also understands that his wife comes first, too, so if there are things to do, he knows the video games come last!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 10
Yeah she plays but she does not play as much as I do,but I have gotten her into playing games so she plays them more now,and I try to be a good husband,and I know we will be married a year in no time,video games are a lot of fun,and that is cool that you play video games too,and I know that other things come before video games in importance.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (93755)
• Marion, Kansas
31 Mar 10
Even if you think you do not want to go some where, go with him, it might be fun. I am not fond of car shows, for instance, but I go to quite a few. Of course he goes to home shows with me. Get up first and bring him coffee. For all of my life I remember my dad taking my mom oj or coffee in bed, until they separated and divorced, but this has always seemed a loving thing to do. If you know you owe an apology, give it quickly and with good grace. Remember the monthiversaries.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (93755)
• Marion, Kansas
24 Aug 11
Is detailing a main job, or a side job for him? I am curious about what product line he uses. That is actually why we go to car shows, to demonstrate a special product. He has detailed a few cars as well.
• Philippines
14 Apr 10
you can feel them they are special by hugging, kissing. telling them verbally. you can also give gifts even if there is no occassion. hug and kiss your while you are at the mall or places that have many people
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
24 Aug 11
I like your idea about surprising them with gifts even when it's not a special occasion. I love when my husband does that for me. "Just because" gifts are truly the best because they're completely unexpected!
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
3 Apr 10
To make some special is love them without expectation. Rather try your best to fulfil they expect. And best part in this is, you will get more satisfied in life. And nice to hear that how you take care of him. Keep loving at the same spirit. God bless you both!
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Thank you, my friend! This is truly great advice. Sadly, I have family and friends who have expectations of me and my husband...so their love is more conditional than as it should be - unconditional. For this reason, it's really hard for them to be accepting no matter what. It's sad, but your words touch my heart because I know what it's like to show people I care by not expecting anything of them other than that they be themselves! Thank you for your words of wisdom!
@singuri (571)
• India
31 Mar 10
Caring for others always make others feel flattered. But you can't do this unless you have feeling for others. In a long run you cannot act in the same way. You views change and the way you look at your husband changes. First love him and you will automatically care about him. No need of paying special attention towards your husband.Making others feel better in times of distress is important than making others feel special.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
24 Aug 11
Thanks for your response. I think caring for other when they are going through hard times makes all the difference. Down the road, they will remember that you were there for them when they were down in the dumps. I think that's a great thing for a person to do when they care about someone.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
I'm a man. And I'm not yet married but for me having a wife that is so caring is so not right. For me in marriage you must not please your husband all the time. Man and woman are equal. You don't nee to be a servant to your husband. You can be caring in many way. But what your doing in my opinion is not caring but serving. So my advice care for your family but don't be like a servant. Its a give or take. Some husband will look for another woman if their wife is so servant like. .. I'm not saying that your husband will do. But what I'm saying is husband also need challenge. Every body need challenge and having a wife like you have no challenge at all. Don't take it in a wrong way. What I'm just trying to say is give your husband a challenge and his reward is your loving tender care.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Apr 10
Hey there! I understand completely what you mean, and I agree with you! As the wife, I definitely don't want to be a servant to my husband. He appreciates me and what I do, but I won't be a step stool. I make him help out around the house too! When I mean around the house, normally it means around the outside of the house when it's warm out - LOL! He does all the yard work, washes the cars, shovels in the winter, and so on. So we try to keep things balanced so that I'm not doing everything, and he's not doing everything. I think it works well when both partners work together. After all, that's what marriage is all about - working together like a team! By the way, I love your attitude toward having a wife someday. You will be a wonderful husband. Thanks for your honest response, friend.
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
well, i think you can ask your husband personally. once i unconsciously blurted out lout what i could get my husband for christmas and he said not just to start a fight with him . makes sense, right?
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Apr 10
Yes, you're exactly right! Communication is key in any relationship. If I really want to do something special for my husband, I could always just ask!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
since im not married yet so the most special person for me right now is of course my mother as my mother is always there willing to help me whenever i help her. if i want her to cook my favorite food she just cook it for me and in return i told her that thats the most delicious food i ever had and i always hug and kiss her and i always told her that even if i already have my kids nor husband, i will still going to hug and kiss her and i will still going to look for the food she cook. it makes her feel special in that simple way.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Apr 10
I bet that is the most special thing to your mom after a meal she cooks, for her to hear you say it was the best meal ever. That is really kind and considerate of you. Even though you aren't in a relationship right now, you are being the best person you can be to the people you have in your life now. You are preparing for when you someday have a significant other in your life. I think you are well prepared to find the love of your life, and they will be so blessed to have you like your mom is now! Keep up the great work!
@770876 (151)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 10
You can try to listen to share his work with happy and unhappy, Sometime you can do candle light dinner and give him surprise, That can impress to your partner, Then he will feel you are special. If you are free, you also can often change your hair style That can easy do by yourself, And try to make up different daily, I guess he will think you are charming, Let him feel that you are different every day, Then he will only focus on you... Hope it is useful for you:)
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
24 Aug 11
Your response is extremely helpful! I apologize it has taken me so long to comment, but you are very wise. These are ideas I hadn't thought of before. Changing hairstyles would really be fun because it keeps the relationship interesting and always different in that way. I like how you use the word "charming" because that's not commonly heard nowadays, but would be a definite compliment coming from my hubby! Thanks for the great ideas! I love the candlelight dinner idea. My husband did that for me once (while it was still light out, too - lol!) while we were dating, and it was so cute!!
@allknowing (58092)
• India
31 Mar 10
This was in the good old days when music systems in houses were very rare. My husband being crazy for music missed this in our house. We were just married - a couple of months and I planned to give him a surprise. I had got my bonus and with that money I bought a system for him. I took leave, came home early and asked the guy who had installed it to keep it on. My husband arrived in the evening and heard the music but did not know from where it was coming and thought it was from the neighbour's house and rest is history!!
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Apr 10
How sweet of you! That is too cool. I bet your husband was in music Heaven forever after that! I think the neatest thing is how you went completely out of your way to do something for him of which he had NO idea until he got his surprise. I love surprising my husband. That is a wonderful way to tell him you care! Thanks, my friend.
• India
31 Mar 10
treat her like a friend share every thing with her and atlk her like a friend and discuss about your issues and dreams,where you want to take the relationship.be protective of her -nothing can make a women feel more special than a guy who would stick by her every step of way and protect you.women are mostly attracted towards guys who can make them feel comforatble and feel protected.repect her opion once in blue moon learn to listen to have and take her opinion as well .amke her feekl that she is heard as well when it comes to decession making in house.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Apr 10
You've definitely figured out what women adore in men! If you keep it up, you will always have your girl by you side. You're right - a woman wants someone who makes her feels safe. Good for you! Thanks for your response.
• United States
31 Mar 10
Sometimes it is the really small things. Like sitting and staring at him while he sips his coffee in the morning! Leaving him a note on the bathroom mirror using lipstick so that when he gets up in the morning he sees it. (I wrote on my husband's underwear but I wouldn't suggest that!)
@JJ4Ever (4704)
• United States
1 Apr 10
That is too funny! You are so sweet to your hubby. Thanks for sharing. I definitely need to do the lipstick thing (on the mirror, of course!) because I have so much lipstick and never wear it. That would be a wonderful use for it! Cute idea. I do tend to stare at my husband when he's laying in bed sleeping in the morning the days he doesn't get up with me. I have to be up and at it first in the morning, so sometimes I'll just watch him sleep while I get ready. It's so fun - ha ha. Take care, my friend!