how can i go along with my girlfriend
April 1, 2010 10:23am CST
i am in shenzhen china now , but my girlfriend is in other place . she is far from my place , we can only use phone , everyday we send messages to each other , tell her what i will do this day , and she tells me what she will to do too. but we can not see each other , i miss her , i want to let her go to my place , but it is too long from here , until now we still talk with phone , i always feel that there is something is missing . what can i do . who can tell me ;thank you!~~~~(_
• United States
2 Apr 10
Hi Hanyelin, You are actually missing out on everything right now. It is good that you can talk and text etc but a relationship needs physical contact and interaction in order to survive. You don't say what your relationship has been or what you expect or forsee in the future so it is hard to give advice here. Why are you so far apart and how did you meet? Have you ever spent time to gether and do you see an end to this distance? Is this a temporary situation? How long have you been together?
1 Apr 10
Love is sacrifice. In your case,there are 2 kinds of sacrifices. first,sacrificing to not see each other so that both of you will be prepared enough when you meet each other again. second,sacrificing time and money to conquer the pressure of a long-distance relationship. Well,I personally don't think long distance relationships work. You will always feel like there's always something missing. You can't be like phone pals forever,right? ;) I know technology can be pretty convenient for medium of communication. But Love demands cuddling moments and bonding moments too. Open this topic to her and find the appropriate solution for this. If you are a true gentleman,you would be the one who would go to her place. That's love dude. ;) Happy blogging! More luck to you and your gf! Hope things work out for the both of you.
1 Apr 10
long distance relationships are hard. i myself was dating my boyfriend 5 years straight together, and 3 years apart so it was really hard for me to cope up with the loneliness and trust. but this very same person turned out to be my husband after all. we got married 5 months ago and we felt that love is stronger than ever. and now, we are working hard to fix the paperwork and visa applications so that i could be with him for good. if you think this girl is "the one", then you should learn to adapt to the situation. if you can, you could also take a risk and be with her. there are awfully a lot of ways to communicate. my husband and i always use skype to talk anytime we want, without having to spend much on long distance bills. in terms of letting each other know what's going on each and everyday is a good start. always remember that communication is the key to a successful relationship. it helps more in building trust. do not keep each other in the dark, and be a lot detailed in sharing stories. of course, you can try different things while online..there are activities to talk about --- talk about the future, what you both want out of the relationship, what your plans would be. because if both of you feel that you are not moving forward, then there might be a problem. if you like, you can also visit this website: http://lovingthedistance.com for tips on coping with loneliness. hope this helps.
1 Apr 10
You should try to endure the pain of not being together for now.That way you will be able to test if you are meant to be for each other. Im sure there will come a time that you will be able to go out and hang out together sometime for now try to be patient and trust each other just like what your doing right now ;)
2 Apr 10
I went through this same thing with my partner. She was in Argentina. I was in the U.S. We talked on the phone for hours, when we could. Wrote emails. Connected via chat. It was hard. Damn hard. But, in our case, it really was love. We found a way. We endured until we could find a way, spending all our time trying to find THE way to be together. That's what we wanted. To be together. If you both don't want that, it just won't happen. It won't last. I see that you replied to somebody else that you are trying to find a way to break it off? If that's what you think is best, just do it. Don't drag it out. It's not fair to her if her desire is to make it work and you don't want to. If you do want to make it work, find the way. It's not impossible. If it is really love, there is no sacrifice too big that you can make. Me? I gave up everything and moved to another country to make my relationship work because I really love my partner. How much are you willing to sacrifice for her? That's the kind of question you need to be asking yourself. Is it really fair for you to ask her to come to your place? What about her life where she is? Those are the questions I had to ask myself in order to make decisions about my long distance relationship. We've been together 10 years now since I decided to move from the U.S. to Argentina. I did it because I love her. Really love her. That's the bottom line. How much are you willing to do to make the relationship work? In the meantime....do you have web cams? They add a more personal touch.