How true that money/finances the main reason/cause of couple fight!

couples - a fighting couples
@cloud31 (5811)
April 4, 2010 11:56am CST
Just curious how true that money/finances the main reason/cause of couple fights? I have read a lot of story and testimony of couples which related about money,the main reason of disagreement and fights of couple, how true is this? For those married couple out there would you mind to share your views and opinion in regards to this? Hope to hear from you my fellow mylotters..Thank you and happy mylotting!
3 people like this
32 responses
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Great discussion. Finances and money are the number one contributing factor to couple fights and divorce. I could name the top four on the list for causes of divorce, but money is at the top of the list. My husband and I got married about nine months ago, and we figured out how we would handle our money LONG before we got married. That's how we handled it. We made sure we agreed on everything before getting married so we could ensure we would not get a divorce over money. I'd say we definitely know better because we've decided to educate ourselves on how money should be handled. For instance, we figure out a budget before each month begins and stick to it. That way, we don't have to worry about having enough money to cover the bills each month. We know what's coming in and exactly what's going out for bills. We both come together and agree on a budget so neither of us feels like he or she is left out. If we have suggestions during the month on things we need to spend extra money on, we'll come to an agreement on what is best. We are always HONEST and talk about everything having to do with our money. I think honesty and communication play big parts here, which is why it's not an issue for us. Thanks for asking!
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
9 Apr 10
Thank you so much for BR, my friend. There is nothing I enjoy more than discussion two things of great interest to me - marriage and money. Take care!
1 person likes this
@cloud31 (5811)
9 Apr 10
You deserved it friend! Don't mention itTake care always too!
2 people like this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
4 Apr 10
IJ, as we all know money really is a very evil little bugger. Unfortunately we cannot survive without it. But, for couples, whether married or not, to have fights about it. I mean really, rather fight about who is going to wash the dishes. I know there are situations like that, but is it really woth something to fight about? Does money really make people happy? TATA.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
4 Apr 10
So what you are trying to say, is that you are the one washinng the dishes then?
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
4 Apr 10
Oh really!! And who if i may be so blunt to ask, is the caretakers of the dishes? Think very carefuly about your answer. I think your life may depend on it.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
4 Apr 10
Sorry, my dear. But you can go to bed without dinner. No manners, no food. It is only lazy people who use dishwashers.
@anurag3786 (6275)
• India
4 Apr 10
I thinks sometimes it creates a problem of fighting when couple have no more money for living.. and they have problem of struggling with their life.. but i think it can be solved if both persons are understands each other.. have a nice day and keep mylotting always..
@cloud31 (5811)
5 Apr 10
Hello anurag3786, Ya its true it creates arguments and fights to couple who have not enough money for living and it also creates a fight for couple who have money as it conflicts a lot of thing between them..So whether both situation it creates a lot of issues,,isn't it. Thank you for sharing and Happy myLotting!
@greyz7 (860)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
money sometimes is the main reason for a fight/argument? because it creates a stressful situation...money is a factor of survival..
@cloud31 (5811)
5 Apr 10
Hello greyz7 So this statement is sensible,,,Ok thank you for your response..Happy myLotting!
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
2 Nov 10
I think that finances are something that causes a lot of problems within relationships. However, I don't think that it is the main reason that couples fight with each other. Instead, I think that the main reason that couples have conflicts within their relationship is because of the fact that there are a lot of jealousy issues in relationships. You see, a friend of mine is staying with us for a while and she has a lot of issues with her boyfriend because of the fact that she doesn't have any trust for him at all.
@common_man (1799)
• India
21 Jun 10
Hi cloud I do not think couple fight over money matters. May be some of them might be but that can not be the main reason. From my experience of seeing the world main reason the couple fight seriously is extra marital relationship, or affair with third person, breach of faith or emotional issues. Thats why it is said in our country, if a couple is fighting do not interfere with their issues. Ps. Where are you friend? m missing you a lot.
@chertsy (3805)
• United States
20 Jun 10
I think money/finances are 50% of the reasons why couples fight. I think one member of the relationship isn't happy, so he/she will start a fight. Just so he/she can call it quits. I also believe they start fights just to hurt the other. Why they do this, I don't know. If a couple is strong, they can face money problems without any fights or tears. It's just how you look at the cup, is it half full or half empty. With that, will be how to handle a situation.
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
It can be a reason but there is always a way to find money although it is hard to find a way. The main reason is stress or pressure. When someone is having little money and problems arise , people feel bad already. When they feel bad they can’t think clearly. When for example a husband went home and his wife will show him the bills they will have to pay. When the husband have only few money of course he will instantly say he don’t have a money to pay the bills. The wife will be worried on how to pay the bills. Since the husband is the one working she will insist that they have to pay the bills urgently before some more problems arise. If the woman keeps on insisting or forcing the issue to husband, the husband cannot think clearly. When they are pressure about the situation of course their reaction , they will get angry and because of that reaction the wife will get angry to so the argument starts. Money is just a material. Don’t blame it. Human being have brains to think of the solution to the problems. If the wife will just wait until his husband think of the solution then arguments will be avoided. If the wife will just support the husband for thinking of solution or for also thinking of the way she can help him then there is no argument will occur. This is really true. I hope we can apply this one in our everyday life.
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
With me and my husband, we are always transparent when it comes to money/financial matters. We would never do anything to mess up our relationship especially because of finances. It's not actually the money itself as the main reason of couple fights,but it's the dishonesty of partners to one another..if you are dishonest about money, you could be dishonest about anything.
@reckon21 (3487)
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
With the worst financial crisis we are still suffering nowadays it's easy to say that money or financial could be a big common denominator for fights between couples. For the wife's it's not easy to raise a family of 3 or 4 children and you don't have food to cook for each meals. This also goes for the husband whose salary is not sufficient to provide for the family's needs. In reality having not much money to sustain the needs of the family can both drive husbands and wife in frequent quarrels and sometimes break ups. Sad situation indeed.
@kaylachan (4776)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
8 Apr 10
Money does cause a lot of fighting. I can't generalize for every couple, but I can speak for myself. When you have a lot of bills to pay, and nothing left after wards it becomes difficult. When duel incomes are involved, it makes you think of a slightly bigger picture. Its not just you, you are not alone. So you ask yourself, if its not something I'm doing... where is our money going? When you earn that pay check, that's where (in a couple) "your money" ends and it becomes "our money" because it generaly goes tward basic needs of living. Not just for yourself, but that of your partner, ex home/apartment water, eletric, phone etc. Food is also a factor in this. So when all is said in done you look back month to month and wonder what exactly is it that's going on? And couples (at least George and I) pass the blame on one another as to where the money goes )mostly me blaming him) but regardless of this, you get the general idea.
@adequee (204)
• Malaysia
7 Apr 10
i dont really know for the couple because im not married yet, but from my experience it can happen to anyone , be it just friends, siblings, co-workers, schoolmate! when it happen,it will take a long time to settle,in some cases one will never talk to each other again just because of a hundred dollar ....am i into your discussion?;p
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
6 Apr 10
i would agree that most of the time, it is about finances though not actually the money that cause us to fight or get into a not so good conversation. the reason why i wish to earn more extra cash from online sites like mylot (though mylot is my only online site that i earn, so far). my wife will get easily irritated when kids are not behaving well, but if we have more money, we can do something about the kids and wife will get ease. i say money because it is within our hands and finances is something that is not within our hands. say savings or a product of a business or some bills.
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
5 Apr 10
Money was everything recently, we can live withaut it.Cause there are nothing free in this world.Maybe couple decade ago we can say I don't care about money all I want is only Your love.Can we live with just love?? Such a idiot if they still said it, as You can see right now.There are lot of people even with ordinary face got a awesome couple cause they are rich.Right now the most important from someone was money, 2nd was heart.Admit it!!
@dzeanne (79)
• Philippines
5 Apr 10
in the case of my parents, i can say that's somewhat true. my parents have quarreled a lot of times about money and now they're separated. well, i think my parents don't have the love for each other to begin with. i think if a couple really loves each other, money is just a small thing to break them apart. i know that money is still important in a relationship, especially to be able to support the family but love and faith in each other are the most important things. if a couple breaks up and they say that it's because of money, maybe they're just making it as an excuse when the truth is, they've already fell out of love with each other.
@zip12ph (179)
• Philippines
5 Apr 10
yes its true that money SOMETIMES is the reason why couples fight,i've experience it already, but my husband and i realize that we must not let it control our relationship so we learn to control it instead.The same problem also occurs to siblings, friends and also our community, and we cannot contest to that, I guess its true that money is the cause of all evil but its up for us to decide if we will let it control us.
• India
5 Apr 10
Well, you have really brought up a valuable discussion, the replies for which will help us all directly or indirectly. As I understand and experience, marital life will be more happy when the family financial structure is at its best. Majority of household quarrels, as you have pointed out, emanate from money only. That too, if either of the members, husband or wife, is a spend-thrift, the situation is very worse and unimaginable. Every thing comes in with money and goes out with money. Money is the life's artery and everybody remains happy as long as it runs without exhaustion. You need money for every thing in life, purchases, family budget, entertainment, outting once in a while etc. After the arrival of children, it is the essence for each and every requirement in the family. It is quite natural, therefore, the housewife finds it very difficult to meet both ends meet. The result, husband's inability to provide with, comes to forefront. Deeper still, quarrels build up and very rarely, even up to the divorce level.
@qamarep (4450)
• Pakistan
5 Apr 10
if the woman needs money from husband and if he doesnt have why doesnt she work and earn her own
@bystander (2299)
• Philippines
5 Apr 10
based on my own personal experience, it's not, my dear cloud. probably, it's the easiest issue to pick a fight or disagreement. but as a root of the conflict between a husband and a wife, it should not be... remember what the priest said during the wedding ceremony about sharing. having a lot of it, should be shared, so is the burden of having lack of it...
@tomitomi (5441)
• Singapore
5 Apr 10
hi cloud31. we have reached an age where money seems to dictate our daily lives. improper management of finances could easily lead to a debit. a couple who is spending a lot more than they receive could easily land themselves in a fight. but finances is not the only reason why couples fight. in fact, there are a host of other reasons why they do. couples do fight over small matters at home sometimes, like who is supposed to fetch the kids home from school or get the grocery from the nearby store, etc.. when petty fights are not managed properly these tend to escalate into bigger fights and this where the danger is.