trying very hard to be a good wife

Philippines
April 7, 2010 5:02am CST
I am trying very hard to be a good wife but sometimes I am feeling irritated of my husband's actuation and shallow thinking. We often clash on small things. I am feeling sometimes I can no longer take it anymore. Is it always the wives who will adjust to their husbands character and temperaments? Are you experiencing the same way too? I want you to share some of your mindset regarding this. I hope you will, thank you.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
10 Apr 10
everything you experience is very normal. I also experienced the same thing as you. I always try to be a good wife, always obey my husband. but sometimes I feel as a maid. very sad and upset. especially now that attitude is very arbitrary husband, and I now have to always comply with all the words of the husband, although I do not like, I still have to do.
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
HI! Indahfth. Yah! pity on us women, but...life is still beautiful; I've realized that there will always be ups and downs in our life in this world but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
• Philippines
15 Apr 10
hi! i'm so dissapointed with my husband! don't know what to do now! i always caught him with other woman, but he always denied it! he always say it's just nothing! i really hate him! i tried my best to be a good wife but always heartache n return! when i'm asking for separation, it's always me who made the mistakes, it's always my fault, knowing that i', doing nothing but to love an understand him!...
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
15 Apr 10
hai akira! I suffered like you. we as women can only relented. I also only relented to avoid a scene. I now do not care about my husband. which is important for me now is my child.
@ada8may21 (2419)
• Philippines
7 Apr 10
I am not yet married, but I lived with my boyfriend. I guess that depends on the maturity of your husband. That's what I guess. Because my boyfriend is senior to my for 15 years so he is always the one who adjust my mood swing. But if we are arguing into important things. I always see to it that I made my point. However he is always the one bringing up the positive and negative outcome. That's the good thing about having a significant other that is older than you. He always see the other side of the view. While me I just set down and listen to him. Most of the times he is complaining about my stubbornness, but he coping with it. So I guess its not always the woman who adjust the temperaments of their other half. Its always depends on the situation.
• Philippines
8 Apr 10
Hello! Ada, Thanks for your response. Good for you for having a good and responsible husband who always have a positive outlook in life. You should treasure having one, for he is one in a million nowadays.
@ada8may21 (2419)
• Philippines
8 Apr 10
Hi inter.. good day!!! Of course I always let him know how much I appreciated all his patience towards me. I always thank him for all the things he has done and adjust the situation with me. And being so understanding. Just so thankful and he knows that.
@asja1388 (131)
7 Apr 10
Hello internikk, I think its quite a normal situation. There are times in a relationship where you argue over small things quite often, this time passes. I felt the same way as you did in the beginning of my marriage, thinking I am the only one having to adjust. Later I did notice my husband did some adjustments too. I also was thinking I couldnt take it aymore, that I am trying hard and sometimes I thought our marriage was just about to break and I would leave him. The important thing is to remember that you love each other. There are times when you think you dont, but you do especially when you argue constantly. I once read a poem which was describing a married couple as two stones, which are close together and always rubbing and grinding each other- thats how we become round, forming a good, deep relationship with our partnerm, where we get to know each other, learn to understand the other half. Wish you all the best. Its great to know we are not alone.
• Philippines
8 Apr 10
Hi! Asja Thank you for your advice. You know that is exactly what I am thinking right now, that I would leave him if I've got the chance, if not for my precious one, my 7 year old daughter.
@Masmasika (1922)
• Philippines
7 Apr 10
hello, I am not a wife but I did lived with my son's father when I was younger. Although I am not a wife, I can advise you regarding this matter because I am basing my views regarding exposures to other people experiences. I'm sure you are still too young and still a new wife adjusting to a married situation. Marriage is not a one way traffic but a commitment and a responsibility of two people who have vowed to help each other in any situation they encounter. The wife is not the only person who must look at how things would work but the husband should also cooperate. Marriage is not about who should adjust but it is a joint venture of two people. If you can talk and settle on ways to improve your relationship then everything will finally get better. You know, not all marriages work instantly int he first few months. There are some marriages where marriage is like heaven int he first few months but there are marriages where the first few months are the worst times. But if you can both adjust to situations and try to sort out things and talk about it then you will soon find out that marriage is such a bliss. Talk and at the same time both of you should adjust and look at the brighter side of things. Good luck and hope things will get better then.
• Philippines
8 Apr 10
Hi! Masmasika, thanks for your advices. I do hope things will really get better regarding my marriage. Thank you again.
@UmiNoor (3594)
• Malaysia
24 Apr 10
Men are like little children and should be treated that way. They think they know everything and cannot accept the fact that their wives could be better than them. This is true especially for Asian men. Have you noticed how Asian parents allow young boys to roam free and do whatever they want but use a tight leash on their daughters? This is the reason why Asian boys grow up to think that they deserve the freedom and that they're always right. Daughters are taught to be submissive and listen to the men. Don't worry internikk. What you're experiencing is normal. Don't take it too hard. If you really love your husband and he loves you too, just don't fuss about the little stuff. Let it go. Sometimes these men they just need an outlet to vent their frustrations. It will be okay once they've vented. And it doesn't mean that you've lost when you let go of the small stuff. Sometimes it's better to lose the small battle to win the war. Not that you're at war LOL. But I do feel like you. Sometimes the relationship with your husband can be likened to going to war. Both want to win the argument but in the end no one wins. Even if you win you may sometimes be the one to lose. So it's better to lose and win at the relationship.
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
Hello internikk, its hard to try to be a good wife, but the only reason why you still with your husband, is the words LOVE, and Love is the most important for you, because love can cover multitude of sin, sometimes you feel to give up,always keep in mind that you still love your family.
@Jotomy (6351)
• India
8 Apr 10
Clashes will be there. Then saying sorry blah blah blah .... If you have love towards your husband, after clash you will become more closer than before just observe and see. Don't take seriously small things.
• Philippines
7 Apr 10
both of you should work for marriage, its not a one way thing, its not always give and give.