Will you still stay with ur boyfriend or girlfriend who doesn't care you ?

April 8, 2010 4:01am CST
My friends, will you still stay with your boyfriend or girlfriend who doesn't care you almost at all? I am really in such trouble. As you know, I love my boyfriend so so so so much and I am very concerned about him. But sadly he doesn't do the same thing to me. His family like me so much and treat me as their son's wife. I have ever talked this problem with my boyfriend. He said that he cared me very much. I want to break up with him? What's your opinion? Help me,Please. I am extremely hurt.
1 person likes this
16 responses
@caliya (1175)
• Philippines
8 Apr 10
Just let go. There no point staying in a relationship where your love is not reciprocated. I know it might hurt at first but in the end you will be thankful. Someone better is out there who truly deserves your love. I wish you all the best.
@caliya (1175)
• Philippines
8 Apr 10
I meant there's no point in staying in a relationship, sorry about that.
8 Apr 10
Well, I don't know... As a matter of fact, I had the same idea as you. But for some reasons, I gave up.
@Jotomy (6351)
• India
8 Apr 10
Why are you hurt? If his parents treating you as their son's wife and your boy friend cares you much? Breaking up relations are not good. You better talk to him and tell him what all your problems facing coz of him, clarify your doubts. Why are you thinking that he is not concerned? Men all the time they may not express their love. Try to understand him and move. Suppose you breakup with him and choose someone he may worst than him then what you will do, all the time you will be changing your boy friends. See you are woman that you must not forget it. Be strong & positive and strict to only one. You must live upto the god's wish.
8 Apr 10
I have said goodbye to him more than ten times. But at last I was back to him. Maybe he knows that I won't leave from him,maybe he thinks that I am doomed to marry him. I did. I do have talked my unhappiness to him. And he said he would change himself and try to treat me well treat me softly. But he maintained his status quo. Yes, you are right. Maybe men don't know how to express love to women. Thanks your wish.
@Jotomy (6351)
• India
8 Apr 10
Ho don't be depressed, things will be alright. Time changes people. So be patience.
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
8 Apr 10
first of all, i would like to know why do you feel your boyfriend did not care for you? from your description, you mentioned that the said that he cared for you very much. so do you mean that he is lying? or how he cares for you is not what you need? otherwise, it could be something worse. is there any other guys around you who cares for you more than he cares for you? if this is the case, it means that you have been comparing his way of caring with the other without you realizing about this situation. back to your question, if your boyfriend really does not care for you at all, there's no point of being together. but if he did cares for you but in a way that is not what you want, you need to tell him how you wanted to be cared. and if there is third party in your relationship who cares for you more than him... you need to be careful with your decision/choice (so that you will not hurt anyone deeply).
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
8 Apr 10
Maybe your boyfriend has a different way of showing you how much he cares for you. Did you ever tell him about your concern? Guys are difficult to understand cause they are not really honest with their emotions. Women wants to be taken cared of by their partners but some men are not comfortable doing that and maybe your boyfriend is one of them. I think you will feel that his intentions are good and that he really loves you and it would be unfair for him if you will break up with him just because he doesnt know how to show you that he cares for you. Maybe that's his weak point and maybe you can also help him make his weak point strong.
8 Apr 10
Thank you very very very much. Your words make me understand my situation. He is just the person you describe. Thank you, my friend. But the point is I don't love to be treated like this, I want him to show me. Poor me.
@rhinarea (311)
21 May 10
I don't think that you should go on on that kind of relationship, in any relationship there is a saying that you should give and take and vise versa, if you are the only one who's giving thats not fair. You should find someone who is worthy of your love. I know that you are hurt but you should live you life move on.
@j0anne13 (88)
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
better free yourself from him. If you stay longer, it will definitely hurt more. So save yourself from more heartaches. Love yourself first...
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
I thought you said you love him? You even said he told you that he cared for you very much. Guys just tend to be inexpressive with their feelings unlike girls. Don't break up with him. People will think you broke up with no good reason
• China
9 Apr 10
did u have told him your feeling? and ask him to do something u want him to do? if u told him already,and he doesnt want to change,u did better break up with as soon as possible.as a girl ,u should respect yourself more that your boyfriend does.
• United States
9 Apr 10
From reading through majority of the responses to question already I must say I am slightly confused. You say you do not feel he cares aboutyou but that he does love you. Many fellow mylotters brought up the point that men and women do not express emotions in the same manner. I think it is crucial to gain an understanding from one another of exactly how you two truly feel about one another. The things he does or does not do that make you feel as though he does not care about you need to be discussed with him again if he not trying to change things he said he would attempt to thcange. Keep in mind, change is hard and scary. Most people avoid change because it brings about an element of the unknown in a sense. I say if it's to the point that you truly feel that breaking up with him is what is best for you and is what is going to make you happy, then it is time to move on. After giving some one so many chances it becomes apparent a leopard cannot change it's spots. I was in a horrible relationship for 5 years, the man was very abusive and it made me want to leave him. But I cared for him and he said he loved me, so I kept trying and trying and trying to make it work. At the end of last October I finally got the courage to leave him for good and move forward with my life. I mjust say, moving on was the best decision I have ever made. You need ot decide what is best for you and what will make you happy. It is time to be a little selfish here, and not worry so much about him. He obviouslyis not making you happy right now, so you should sit back and think everything through thoroughly. MNot knowing the specifics of the problems I cannot say which would be best or give a good thorough opinion, especially since it may not be a black or white answer.
@umit_umit (1986)
• India
9 Apr 10
well friend here it is an opposite!
@lexx87 (1711)
• Mexico
9 Apr 10
not really because it makes me think he doesnt love u , so i prefer to be with someone really loves me . It is a waste of time , if he says he cared bout you , he needs show u and not words , you know ! I was really blind for a guy but after all i realized other guys are better than that .
• Philippines
8 Apr 10
Your situation is quite hurting you know. You love him so much but you don't feel that he does the same to you. The fact that you are already contemplating on breaking up with him shows that you are losing that love and he can't really blame you if you do since he doesn't show that much concern to you as you said. I had a friend very much like you who thought that her boyfriend's family can keep their relationship intact. She would always tell me how welcome she is whenever her bf brings her to his family and how much she feels loved by his parents and siblings. Some years ago, the guy went abroad to work and before we know it, he was already married to another girl in that country. She couldn't believe it at first but the guy sent a letter telling her that he couldn't break up with her because of his family and waited for her to do the first step until he couldn't wait anymore and had to leave the country and find freedom. Why don't you try to give each other some time to breathe and think about your relationship again? Maybe a cool-off will do the trick. As the saying goes- "If you love someone, set him free. If he comes back, he's yours. Otherwise, you were not meant to be." Good luck and God bless. :)
@cupkitties (7545)
• United States
8 Apr 10
You said you talked to him about your feelings already and he hasn't changed. Obviously he didn't take you seriously and if you continue to be with him while he treats you this way he probably really what most young guys like that use to tell me when I was your age is they see this as you giving them permission to keep treating you how they want to. If he really cares then he will desire to do whatever it takes to make you happy and never want to hurt you. A relationship can't work if only one of you is willing to work on fixing problems while the other does nothing.
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
8 Apr 10
People have different ways of showing how they care for the one they love. Some even come to the point of not showing it at all, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. Perhaps he thought that he has already shown you that he cares, and therefore thought that you already felt he cared. But still, perhaps he doesn't care for you at all. But I'm confused because you were told he does care, and now it seems you don't believe him. There are people who are not very expressive. Don't suppose that they should be super romantic with all those romantic characters in movies or in books. I think you should talk to him about you not feeling that he cares. So as you could finally express your dissatisfaction and he would be able to know that you don't feel loved. This way, when you're truly certain he doesn't love you, then you could go on your separate ways.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
8 Apr 10
What make you say that your boyfriend don't care for you? You even say and as I quote" he said that he cared me very much". I don't know if its a right grammar. But I'm assuming that he is saying that he cares for you so much. Did I express it right? ... But sometimes putting a rope in mans neck sometimes can strangle him or suffocate him. So give your man a space will you. Your not his maid your his girl friend. So don't be like a servant.
• United Kingdom
8 Apr 10
Well,ideally we should never keep sticking to someone who doesn't care for us.But practically,it is not very easy to do all the time.Sometimes we get so attached to someone that we cannot imagine life without that person.Again,ideally speaking,we should never become too dependent on anybody to get us happiness because if we do,then we are sure to get hurt.As far as your case is concerned,you should mention the specifics as to why you feel your boyfriend doesn't care for you.Sometimes don't appear as they actually are.You got to be very careful and shouldn't jump to conclusions.Relationships are held by a thin thread.Once a knot appears,it gets difficult to get rid of it.So instead of doing something so drastic as breaking up straight away,you should spend more time and give your relationship a chance.Don't quit before you have tried everything.Also you got to be empathetic and try and understand the other person's point of view.....All the Best!!...:)