love vs. relgion

Philippines
April 10, 2010 10:53am CST
I ama Roman Catholic and my boyfriend is a Born Again Christian. I love him, and he told me that he loves me too.. but we have different religion. Should we let go now because anyway we are not willing to give up our religion? im having a hard time taking over this... I dont want to lose him but i dont want to give up my religion either.
3 people like this
12 responses
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
Things would work out fine if one has to sacrifice. I think you both can handle it because you both are worshiping to one God except with the fact that we, Catholics, have saints.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
Yes! That's another point that we are discussing. I believe in saints and he doesn't he calls it "dolls". and he told me that in the 10 commandments, idolatry is forbidden, yet, us Catholics are practicing it and this is a sin that will punish me until the 3rd generation.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
16 Apr 10
Having arguments is practically normal because you both have different views but if you'll end up to be with other, you're usual disagreements might get worst. I'm just concern because my aunt has the same situation as yours. They have been married for quite a long time and their kids were sort of confused to where should they go to mass. My uncle is a member of the Iglesia ni Kristo while my aunt is a Catholic. My cousin also has this problem because her husband is a Muslim and until now, they weren't married.
@stanley777 (7177)
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
You need time- a lot of time, i have also heard many situations like that and most of the times the guy choses to let go of his religion..born again are also like catholics too- they don't have images though. I think you need to have a heart to heart talk- but don't let your love go to waste..
@agv0419 (3029)
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
Catholic and Born Again has a similarity it is not difficult for you to accept each other faith. If you really love each other religion is not a big deal. Religion sometimes is a big issue for a couple but I think you can find a way how to accept it.
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
Thanks to the both of you first. @Stanley- I wish he could let go of his religion, but i think he wont. Well, he have a strong belief you know. and so do i. It feels like im torn between choosing from eating my favorite food and eating something im hesitant to eat. @agv- I really hope that we can find a way...awwwwwwwwww...
@Vikkyd (198)
• Finland
11 Apr 10
Why the hell should you give up your religion to be with each other? Catholic and christian religions aren't even that different! I'd somehow understand it if another one of you would have a religion where the main rule is that you must eat human meat every month or something like that but I guess cannibalism or satanism or anything similar isn't a part of either religion... I certainly don't think you should break up just because of religion, maybe because I'm an atheist. But tell me why, I really don't get it...
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
Thanks for the response! I agree that we are not really that different but technically, we are. For example, we, Catholics are worshiping saints while Born Again Christian doesn't. They say that its a sin and is contrary to the real 10 commandments. So the conflict that i am pointing here is that we differ (somehow) in our beliefs making it a bit hard for us to be binded spiritually- i mean, i want to go to church with him and someday be his wife not just by paper(civil wedding) but in the eyes of God. Yes, one of us should compromise. but compromising IS NOT EASY.
@Vikkyd (198)
• Finland
12 Apr 10
I don't think either one of you should give up with their own religion, maybe you'll have to cope with having different religions but I personally don't think that should be the reason to leave someone... And if I'd believe in God, I'd believe that he (or she, who knows) would accept your relationship just as well as some relatonship between two catholics for example...
@saphrina (31739)
• South Africa
10 Apr 10
I am not trying to be offensive here. But if you two love each other, why give it up? You can still practice your own religion. I don't think there are any laws saying you have to have the same religion.
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
can we be at peace being together and having different faith? i dont know why i make this as a big deal...it just feels like i really have to consider this as early as possible.
@saphrina (31739)
• South Africa
11 Apr 10
Sweetie, just stay with the one you love. All the other little issues will work themselves out. TATA.
@Galena (9123)
10 Apr 10
why should either of you have to give up on your religion? if you really love someone you accept something that is as big a part of them as their spirituality. even if it's different to your own, it's a large part of the person you love. if you love someone, you won't expect them to turn their back on something so important to them. there is no reason why people can't have a happy life together with each having a different religion. and by different religion, I mean different religion. not different denomination. different denomination is even less of a problem. you're both believing in the same Deity. where's the problem.
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
Do you really think we could really be in a relationship having a different religion and faith? He wants me to go to church with him and so do i.
@Galena (9123)
11 Apr 10
you have the same God. that's hardly a problem at all. my husband and I don't believe in the same Gods even. but it doesn't matter. if you each feel comfortable attending each others churches, then go, if not, there's no harm in having that time apart for your own spirituality.
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
Hi domieniqueer, I could totally, totally relate with what you're going through right now. My boyfriend of four years and me have different religion. I'm a Catholic, he's a seventh day Adventist. I have considered the religion difference before we got together, but I still went through it because I love him. Our relationship has grown deeper, and we both see each other to be married in the future. A lot of our friends are always asking me how about the religion if we get married? And they always expect me to be the one who'll get converted because my bf has really strong beliefs in his religion. But I love being a Catholic. I am born and raised as a Catholic, and I will die as a Catholic. I respect his religion, but I do not see myself converting and becoming one of them. We do have different beliefs when it comes to that. Religion differences has always been a heated discussion for both of us. But there's always a COMPROMISE. I believe we can go through it in the future if we learn to compromise. This is what I'm thinking: get married in a civil wedding, he would still go to his church, I'll go to mine. We'll work things out. I love him so much and I won't let our differences come between us. The important thing is, we both have faith in God, we even pray together, and we will make God the center in our relationship, despite the religion differences.
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
i see..we are in a same situation... Its hard right? but we can get through this right? and you know what? you added up to my motivation, lasting 4 years with the conflict is not easy...but i bet i can do that too... Compromise is really the answer, not break up. However, compromising is never easy.. but im not in a hurry, so ill take time to prepare and so do my partner... OMG...good luck to the both of us..=) thanks for responding =)
@polino (55)
11 Apr 10
i am a catholic too, an open minded one, nowadays we all have different situations and we have different understandings as well.In your case you dont have to let go of each other, all you need is a great deal of respect, that is a very sensitive matter both of you have but if love has its way both of you will not face problems along the way, let respect and love blossom in your relationship... good luck and God Bless
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
thanks for some motivation!...happy mylotting!
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
Is it because your parents require you to date people in the same religion? Well, my parents did require me back then but I did not take it seriously. Why give the relation up? I mean, you believe in the same God. Why stop loving when this God that you both believe in wants you to love? Is it because you plan to go to church with him? Or are you looking forward to a very long relationship with him, to the point that you are married? Well, just find compromise. Talk about it and do not avoid the topic. Direct conversations about this topic will help you resolve the issue. You can't keep running away if the thought of separating or leaving your religion tortures you. I guess he feels the same way too.
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
i think you get most of my point! but its not that my parents wants me to date someone of the same religion but of course i know they prefer, and my family knows the religious view of my boyfriend, they sometimes ask me if im gonna convert to their religion...well i always answer "I dont know yet". Another Yes for the fact that i want to go to church with him. And a big YES to the big FACT that i want to be married with him someday. Sounds easy...but OMG its too hard!
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
helo domie, at least you're both Christian, different sects that is. recently my cousin who's a Jehova's witness and her wife married in City Hall where a judge held the marriage for them. you can take civil marriages, you can still talk about god but don't argue or it will cause LQ in your wake just love each other and God would rather want that.
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
actually i thought about having our marriage done civil. But you know the feeling that you wanna be bind spiritually.. Oh well, that's a good plan A anyway =) thanks for responding!
@Rhazelle (356)
• Canada
11 Apr 10
I will respond by telling you of a situation I myself am in right now. A guy I know and talk to a lot and get along great with is a strong Christian. I'm a strong atheist. I never thought I'd like someone who was religious. Ever. I fell for him before I knew he was Christian, and I was stunned when I found out, but I accepted it as a part of him. He knows I'm atheist, and he accepts that as a part of me as well. We've discussed the topic, but we've never argued about it. Now, I wouldn't say I'm in love with him anymore like I was before, but I still for sure like him. I recently found out that he's loved me for a while now, but due to certain circumstances it just never happened. But I did tell him that his talking about religion makes me uncomfortable, and he has not mentioned it around me since. And when we talk about maybe one day getting together, he told me that he didn't mind that I was atheist, and he knows that I wouldn't change him being Christian even if I could because it's such a big part of him. If you truly love someone, their religion shouldn't matter. You two would find a compromise in between, like in my example, he would stop talking about his religion around me, and I don't mind him being Christian. If you can't find a compromise though, it means that religion is more important than that other person to you, which contradicts the fact that if you love someone, you'd do anything to make that person happy, and that just wouldn't work out.
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
This helped me a lot..and i think we're in a different situation BUT i was enlightened by your opinion... THANK YOU!
• United States
10 Apr 10
Perhaps you can stay together. It depends though and it is really tough when you are of different religions. Roman Catholics are born again if they believe in Christ as your boyfriend is. There may be a way you can work it out together and accept each other's view points but it will take much discussion.
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
exactly...its a bit hard taking about this... Yes we both believe in Christ. But our beliefs are somewhat different. I dont know if this is really a big deal. Well i feel like it is.
@ronaldinu (12440)
• Malta
11 Apr 10
Hi domieniqueer if you love each other, you should accept each other's belief. Being both Christians, Jesus should be a point of unity and not diversity. If he loves you he accepts your beliefs and respects them too cos of you. I think that a marriage can survive if you are both willing hard to patch up things when there is a point that you are not agreeing upon.