Russian 7-year old boy was sent back to Russia alone

Philippines
April 13, 2010 1:05am CST
I was watching CNN and saw their news on a Russian boy who was sent back to Russia by her would-be adoptive mother ALONE. I don't know how the 7-year old boy was able to get on a plane unaccompanied but the footage showed him on it. The would be adopter said that the boy was violent and so after she spent time with the boy in a Russian orphanage, arranged for the boy to go to the US, she changed her mind and sent him home with a note to the Russian government after only one day. What do you think? Was it right for the adopting mother to return the child that way? If the child is violent, should she have tried harder and longer? If you were in the place of the adopter, would you have done the same? The boy was shown and looked so vulnerable and ready to cry. I cried a little for him too, if truth be told.
3 people like this
9 responses
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
now i know why fate didn't give her the opportunity of bearing her own child. you adopted him he's yours already and biological parents would be faster than lightning to ask help from family, friends, relatives or professionals with a violent child, right? this is the same as abandoning your own child. she should be prosecuted.
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
Hello Ritchelle. I'm not sure if she adopted because she is biologically unable to bear one. I heard it mention that she has kids. I am not sure though because I was in the gym on a treadmill when I heard the story on CNN. It just tugged my heart and I was wondering if I was the only one who felt for the little boy. He looked so lost and ready to cry. I do agree that she deserves to be prosecuted. Isn't that abandonment?
1 person likes this
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
well, she deserves the statement: i wonder how the kid/s of this woman would turn out to be in the future...
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
That's a really good question. She even wanted to try and adopt a second child from the same country even before the first son came. How reckless is that? Does she think that she's getting a doll? I was really outraged by her actions. There should be some law banning her from adopting or having kids in the future. Are you referring to the Georgian boy that she returned? I hope the best for the child. I think the government is doing everything to figure out if she was traumatized. Hopefully, this will mean that they will help him through it.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (13337)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
Well I guess the parents maybe were not prepared to accept a child that big already and I think they thought that they better be returned back to where he belongs. I feel sad that there are parents that are looking for a child to adopt from abroad and they would just return them when they find defects on their adopted child. They are just like buying some stuff toy and if they find defect they would return it to the store. I guess there should be a commitment already between the parent and the adoption center about it before they release the child to the adoptive parents. background checks should also be done by both parties before they commit to adopting a child.
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
It was mentioned in the news that three months prior to the adoption, the suppose to be mother flew to Russia and spent time with the 7-year old. Thus, the Russian orphanage allowed the adoption. The letter was not really specific, just that the child was violent. The child was interviewed and the way I understood it, the child was the one who was hit. Regardless of the violence, I was just surprised that it took her all of one day to decide. Of course, I do not know what really happened. But to throw the kid in a plane with just a letter? Seems a bit harsh to me. I have to agree with you. There should be some level of protection for both parties. I think there is some kind of effort on that part, I am just not sure how much. Realistically speaking, these kids are in an orphanage and I think at the very least, these children are traumatized (loss of parents will do that). So I do not understand how someone who knowingly adopts from an orphanage can expect a smooth sailing relationship on the day of their arrival stateside. For sure, there were will a lot of adjustments on both parties, but the adults should be the more patient one.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (13337)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
And adopting a seven year old would mean that there is a lot of adjustments that needs to be done because at that age personality of the person is usually developed already and if there is history of violence early on there is a big possibility that he will carry that through adulthood, unless it is genetically imprinted in him to be so. For me, the ideal age of a child to be adopted is on his toddler or in his infancy. By then you can still mold the child to the person that you want him to be. I think there is something wrong with the mother to be and the adoption agency that handled the case.
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
Yes, at seven-years old you have a sense of self, and your memory is already formed. Certainly there would be enough childhood history to investigate whether the child will have a problem, and if she really wanted to adopt this cute child, then she should have made the appropriate preparation. She might have been a little reckless because I just watched the news and the reported that she even tried to adopt another child from the Republic of Georgia. The adoption agency told her that it was not a good idea and should just concentrate on the first one. Do you think she followed the advice? No, she went and looked for another adoption agency.
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
that was really inhumane, even if she's telling that the child is violent and intends to burn their house, i think the child is her responsibility. it'll be more acceptable if she had accompanied the child back to his native land and tell the orphanage "im sorry im changing my decision; im returning him"
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
Was that the reason that she gave, that the boy tried to burn her house? You're right you know, she should have some shred of decency and returned the boy to where he came from. He's not a lost and found. If she feels that was the right decision for her, I wonder why she has been hiding out from the public.
• Philippines
14 Apr 10
yeah, according to her the boy draw something that depicts that he's goin to burn their house.
@eileenleyva (9375)
• Philippines
14 Apr 10
I just don't think the adoptive mother was ready enough for the child. The boy was 7 years old and spoke another language, what did the prospective mother expect - warm hugs and straight out 24 hour bonding? They were strangers! I hope the boy finds a good home with loving parents.
• Philippines
14 Apr 10
That's true. I think it was unrealistic for her to expect a smooth transition. There were pictures of her and the boy playing at the orphanage, perhaps she thought it would be like that when the child goes to the USA? I don't know what she was thinking, but like you, I hope all goes well for the child.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
14 Apr 10
Kids like these often look vulnerable, you know? But it was absolutely wrong for the adoptive mother to have done it like that, she could have simply accompanied him to the airport and asked for assistance from the airline to have a stewardess accompany the child during the travel.
• Philippines
14 Apr 10
I think the mother took the child to the airport, purchased a ticket for him, and then let him ride back alone. I suppose she was entrusted to the airline, but I wonder why the airline accepted the responsibility. What if no one claimed the child at the Republic of Georgia?
@kgwat70 (13398)
• United States
14 Apr 10
I do not think any child should ride a plane anywhere alone. The parent(s) or adoptive parents should accompany the child no matter what or an adult friend. He should not have been on the plane alone because of the reasons stated. He had to be scared to be on the plane by himself and not with anyone he knows. I would not have my child at that age ride the plane alone.
• Philippines
14 Apr 10
I agree. I wonder how she was able to get the airline to allow the child to travel alone, clutching a letter addressed to no one in particular. I thought that there would be all kinds of paperwork for this to happen. The kid just arrived in the US, stayed a day, and then returned home alone.
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
13 Apr 10
I heard about this story the other day. I think that the last I heard they were deciding whether to put the boy back in the same foster home or was it adoption agency? Oh I don't know but I think the boy was supposed to go under psych eval. This is really sad, I do think the adopted mother should have done more to help, should have tried a little harder. The boy probably just missed his homeland and threw a temper tantrum that the woman couldn't handle. In my opinion, maybe it'd be better if the kids in other countries aren't allowed in the US until the potential parents are sure they want the kid, it would save everyone the heartache!
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
I saw in the news that the Georgian authorities were trying to determine if the boy was traumatized. I hope that the government will do everything to help this boy. I heard he was being returned to the same orphanage which housed him and where the American lady spent time with him getting to know him. There was a picture of them together when they were playing and the child looked so happy having someone. And then the camera zoomed to the present showing him looking as if he was about to cry. Yes, maybe the child threw a tantrum probably because he was scared. i don't think he even speaks English. I agree with you that an potential adoptee should only be taken to the US after the potential parents are sure that they want the child. I do think though that the US has a lot of safeguards already in place. It took months before the adoption came through in this case. I have heard that in some cases it takes years before the process is complete. Angelina Jolie is a shining example of cross-cultural adoption which has gone well.
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
this is just so sad. even if it was true that the kid was violent, the least she could have done was accompany him back. that's just highly iresponsible of her to put him on a plane back to Russia alone, with nothing but a to-whom-it-may-concern letter. geez.
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
You said it. What if nobody read the letter seeing as it was addressed to no one in particular? Poor boy, all alone and clutching the letter like a lifeline.
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
Oh my gosh, that's so sad for the young boy. He's already had experience of having no parents, and now he has to be "rejected". I'm sure that's how he would feel. No child should ever feel that way, no matter what. I wonder how long the process went to screen the adoptive mother before actually sending her the child. And I wonder why she even had to do that. How could you go through the screening process and then decide to back out on a whim that's not even founded. It's true, they should've used resources, sent the child probably to a psychiatrist and find out what was going on. On the other hand, I don't know what the grandmother was thinking but perhaps she should've let someone from Moscow adopt the child instead of having him adopted by an International family. It would be easier to perhaps keep in touch (if it's allowed) with the child, at the same time, the child will be provided a proper home, and better parenting.
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
The news said the process took months and so you're right, she had enough time to think about what she was about to do. I caught the interview of the lawyer of the American woman, and she was telling the media that her client had no comment until charges are filed. The child came from an orphanage in Georgia. That's why I felt so sad for the boy because his world was crushed in just a matter of two days. He was returned to his country where he had no more relatives. Doesn't that just break your heart. I suppose unlike here in our country, a relative will step forward to claim an orphan.