How do you handle problems in a relationship?

Philippines
April 15, 2010 9:34am CST
Hi mylotters, It is normal that each relationship encounter problems. There are some relationship that was gone because they don't know how to manage or handle problems. I am asking you now how do you handle problems in your relationship? Me, even it is not my fault I am the first who come to him and ask to talk about our problem. I just listen first to his feeling and then try to understand.
1 person likes this
16 responses
@vine88 (1038)
• India
16 Apr 10
Hi, health.... It;s easy to give advice , suggestions, to others. When things happens in oneself, then it's really hard to handle. And no families in this world are happy. Because they are all individuals, for individual, they have each own feelings, and thinking about life. Have each different desire. So it's hard to be united. SOme feeling will not match to others. They will have to comparmise. And every one want's other, according to their will. And in relationship if there is expectations of returns , then problem arises. If there is not expectations of returns, then love will grow within them then relationship will be better. I think, to handle bad relationship, it's better to take a mediator or just a friend is enough or psyche.. he will hear both and give perfect solutions. for a couple it's better. In couple relationship there are much more misunderstandings. through that misunderstanding problem arises. and it's hard to handle. SOme times it goes to divorce. ya, your thinking also great. thanks for your good post. -vine.
16 Apr 10
I've been married for ten years and i've been through a lot of problems in my relationship,i realize that the best way to handle it is to know first the cause of the problem , when the both of you identified the cause,you have to talk it over and seek advices from families and friends..Family is the very important thing in life, you should value every relationship you have right now, always keep it healthy and make GOD the center of your relationship
• Philippines
16 Apr 10
I'm really bad at handling problems in a relationship. Most of the time I'm the one who starts a fight in my previous relationship and my ex-boyfriend would be the one who will find a way to resolve conflicts. This could be the reason why I ended single.=(
@Phicardo (19)
• India
16 Apr 10
hahahhahahah~~~~ i have no idea!
• China
16 Apr 10
if i have a problem with my husband ,i will not talk with him if i am in a fit of anger. but we will communicate with each other after we are all clam. communication is really very important ,but keep clam is also very important when there are problem in relationship. when we are all in fit of anger, we easily quarrel,and hurt to each other.
• Philippines
16 Apr 10
It is just normal for people to have problems in their life specially in their relationship. Although what is important is how you deal with it as an individual and how both will come to solution the said problem without letting the sun go down and still the problem isn't fixed. Me and hubby do have disagreements and misunderstandings. Although we have learned from our mistakes as we do talk and try to understand the situation. I have learned a lot from what I should not do to irritate him more, and him not to annoy me. Give and take is important also in a relationship. One that I can share of from my experience was not to give him a silent treatment if we have a problem. This really pisses him off and he really can't stand it. What he learned from me also is that whenever I have my period, he better not annoy me much because I'm too prone to be hot headed during those periods, well blame it on the hormones.
@jasmeena (850)
• Indonesia
16 Apr 10
Yes, I agree with you. I just let him calm down first, then I ask what is wrong, maybe we say something wrong, and do something that may not be wrong, but he doesn`t like it whatsoever. Just let things calm down first, then ask, and try to listen and understand. After that, we explain the situation. Honesty and understanding is needed here, because if we are not open, how does he understand our feeling or vice versa, right?
@caiye786 (95)
• China
16 Apr 10
some misunderstoods have bad influence to the relationship between my familiars and friends ,at that situation,communication is very important,it can take the misunderstoods away and keep the relationship strong ,sometimes i felt sorry i wasn the first one tried to fix the relationshipand,make the other realise that no matter who was wrong i value our relationship,is also a good way to keep the relationship
• Philippines
15 Apr 10
This is an interesting post here. Though I really don't know if I'm qualified to answer this discussion. My wife thinks I'm very bad in handling marital problems. Whenever we get to an argument, it seems that the more I respond or answer her inquiries, the more the argument heats up. So what I do is to shut up. Let her rant and nag be up and about, but then again -- she gets even more infuriated when I keep my silence.
• United States
15 Apr 10
I have been married for 9 years and I have encountered problems, and disagreements numerous times. Every couple does. When I first got married was the hardest. I learned through trial and error how to handle our problems. You have to have communication. You have to be able to talk to your spouse or significant other about your feelings. You have to work together and resolve issues the best you can. I mostly try to talk things through but I admit I have been mad and used the silent treatment a few times which is immature.
• Philippines
15 Apr 10
sometimes i can forgot some love problem. and for me if i have a problem with my relationship i'll go to hear some music to forget my problem with my girlfriend. and sometimes i play online games to become happy and to forget some problem in my relationship. sometime may be they to understand the problem but in other words you fulfil to becomes one again.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
15 Apr 10
To talk about the problems help. If we cannot solve a problem, we would ignore each other for a day or two and then tackle the problem. We both have very bad tempers, so we need to calm down before talking about it. TATA.
@umabharti (3976)
• India
15 Apr 10
hi,yes its very tough to maintain or continue a relationship .The people who have good communication and very good understanding with each other and have some feelings for each other only can continue a good relationship.Problems are everywhere handling them is very hard ,faults are done by everyperson .
• Philippines
15 Apr 10
In a relationship, there should be communication. I believe that communication can lower the gap and understand things better. That is if both person in the relationship have no mental issues. Lol. I had an ex who won't talk to me and rather have her way every time. Our relationship had no hope then and i was pretty sure it was going straight down the drain. Both should be understanding and willing to adjust for each other.
@setsuna26 (2410)
• Philippines
15 Apr 10
I think the first step of trying to solve a relationship problem is to talk bout it, i mean both parties talk bout it when both your heads are pretty much clear already. I mean if your still both angry then you wont be able to solve anything at all. Better to try and calm down and when everything is pretty much cool already then talk bout the problem . Im pretty sure if you both talk bout it theres a big possibility that you will be able to solve it, but sometimes there are differences that we just cant solve no matter how we try.Have a great day and enjoy mylotting!
@oxio10 (135)
• Philippines
15 Apr 10
I do the same also, I don't like arguing and fighting because it i so unhealthy and can ruin the relationship. As long as I can, I often try to communicate to my boyfriend in the most positive way. Communication is what really important in most cases, I just let him talk, explain his side and I will try to listen to him and give my side also. That way, everything will go smoothly and problems will definitely set down. We dont let the day end without discussing and settling our problems first.