Being driven crazy by my friend...
April 16, 2010 11:32pm CST
Hey, have you ever been driven crazy by a friend? How about losing a friend? Because that is exactly my predicament now. Ugh. I've been struggling with this one friend for the longest time. We started out being almost like best friends the beginning of this school year. We talked every single day and had the best inside jokes and every moment was hilarious and tons of fun! But then, towards the middle of the school year we had a few disagreements and it tainted our friendship. I didn't care that much about the fights, and was willing to forgive and forget all, but it seems like she hasn't been able to yet. Since then I've been constantly overly nice and doing anything I can to win her back. But nothing has seemed to work and I fear that we will never be as good friends again. It nearly makes me want to cry to think of all I've lost, its so sad because all I want is just to win back that friend. Everytime I see her laughing with other friends in the hallway, it tortures me on the inside cuz I can't seem to have as much fun anymore everytime I see her. And everytime I see her talking to other ppl on facebook it gives me hell. It tortures me because I wish I was one of those friends she always jokes around with once more, but it isn't so. She's an incredibly nice person and great to be friends with, and it drives me crazy to lose any of my friends. But no matter what I try nothing helps. :( Have you ever been driven crazy by your friend? Either by how they act or what they do? Or like my situation by trying to win them back?
1 person likes this
19 Apr 10
hi! yeah i am being driven crazy by a friend right now. like in your case, we started out "being almost like best friends" in our first year... we were in different department but same collg, different block but same hostel, from 2 far and different states but the closest in heart. every day she used to come to my room as soon as we got back 4rm cllg and used to pour the whole day's story. it was in my room that she used to dance around when she's happy, it was to me that she used to come and complain or cry if she's feeling lonely or sad. every single bit of her dreams , hopes ,fears ,feelings she shared with me. even if there was no word at times, we enjoyed simply sitting silently in each other's company. in a short period her life and world was intricately woven into mine . and she used to be very possesive of me too and used to say she's afraid if one day i leave her (well inever can). we were the best friends ever and i was really very very happy to get her. BUT things aren't the same anymore . ya!there were disagreements at times and she used to get angry with me but at every such instances she always used to open up and told me that she's not happy with me and then we made things clear up but not this time anymore. i guess i didn't play my part well even if i love her a lot and may be that's why things changed and she started avoiding me. it was when we entered 2nd year that she started getting closer to some new friends. that was fine with me for her to get new friends but changing completely even not to reply my sms made me horrible. i asked her what the problem was and said sorry if i did something wrong but she said there was nothing wrong. only a "hi " or nothing at all at times remained when met on the way. i was broken and i cried for the first time missing a friend. seeing her with others ... i think you know how it feels like. i didn't know what to do and the friendship i valued the most slipped through my fingers completely,even if i try all i can to win her back, leaving painful memories wherever i go .then, i thought, better let her go if she's not happy being with me anymore .(may be because i was helpless.) but whatever it was, sometimes she used to come for some small and big helps like she used to do b4 and i did evrything she wanted and even stayed awake a whole night helping her finish her model of a building design. it passed like this for almost a semester and when the new sem started, she started coming back. i was happy but felt awkward and didn't speak to her properly. i just couldn't control myself even if i never blamed her and needed her back. she said sorry for she wasn't there for that long and asked me to punish her if i want and to stop hatting her. there !! what else ?! i said i never hated her and i'm still her friend as i was before. the ice was broken and i thought evrything 'll be alright again. no , its not. its not the same anymore. its just that we've started talking again and she shares very little things and only when she feels like.but she says no matter what i am always close to her. but words and deeds are a bit different as i see. and everytime to see her go the other way and away... its just too cruel to bear. ah! i made it pretty long. if you've managed to read it fully, a thanks to you. this is one kind of a thing that i didn't know with whom to share and i feel good that i've shared now. well, my words to you is "don't worry" . some things are meant the way it is and we can't help. just be yourself and play your part well and i hope one day your friend will surely understand. don't lose hope. my wishes to you:):)
• United States
21 Apr 10
:O ! I can SO sympathize with you! It's like the same exact story!! Same exact! Down to a dot! I feel so bad for you that you didn't have anyone to share it with for so long! *hug* I know! Its horrible, isnt it?? It makes you feel like you've just been forgotten and they dont care. And makes u feel guilty cuz u feel like u did something, but u dont wanna hate that person either, but instead do all u can to try n win them back. N its horrible. :( Idk WHY they do that! I dont get it at all. It's like all of a sudden they decide to leave u. :*( like Im a really loyal friend. If me n my friend fight one day ill try n forget it n still talk to them the next day. N I'll still want to be their friend even if they dont talk to me for a long time. tats how it should be, friends are supposed to be loyal and be forgiving n understanding, but in both our situations for sum reason it doesnt seem that way. n im kinda mad at that person, becuz u dont realize all the ppl ur hurting. :*( N yea. Why cant she just be straight up? Whenever I tried to talk to her straightforward about what was wrong, she would never want to talk and just say she's not mad. most of the time she would even say it back rudely or act mad cuz i asked her n make me feel bad for trying to work on our friendship. But I have eyes I can see when someone starts acting differently. Idk, maybe its just her personality. maybe sum1 hurt her in the past n she was betrayed n now everytime sum1 fights with her she just automatically breaks it off before it gets any worse. :/ trust issues. but i feel kinda bad for her cuz i feel like i cud help her in sum way. n i really do think she could be my perfect match for a best friend. and in an alternate universe we could be best friends, and I can just imagine if we WERE best friends in the future, and I looked back and was so glad that I did all I could to save our friendship. And thanking God that I hadn't lost it. So I feel tat way, like I have to save it, or else I might regret it forever. It's really quite sad, n sorry for my long rant. Recently weve talked a little bit more, but just like ur story we still aren't at the same point we were. I went from being super close n special to just being another school friend. N i feel like I have to fix it before the summer, cuz once the summer comes friendships always fall apart. :S
21 Apr 10
yeah wigi! its down to a dot! my best wishes are with you. hope you'll bring good news soon before the summer comes. the good and close friendships, like the ones we had before things went bad, don't come along everyday,as you know it. i got many other friends but this particular one, well.. no one can replace... irreplaceable and so the hole, unbearable!! and every time when i think back of all those good times and how it is now, it simply kills me. when asked "wats up" , it used to be " i'm coming to ur room" , and now "gonna sleep bye" !! i don't know what exactly to do as well after all that i've tried. may be i did less but i know no more. well, for now the only thing that remains is prayer that its ALRIGHT again and a real ALRIGHT. and do everything i can to let her realize in every possible way that i am .... (i dont know which word should come here). whatever,,if "once summer comes friendship always falls apart",i wish summer never comes coz its really really sad to be " from being super close n special to just being another school friend"! well, all the best dear:):)you'll win her back:-)and a big THANKS. you know it why.
• United States
24 Apr 10
And thxx a lot. :/ idk. im getting a little mad at her now. yet i still kinda feel bad 4 her. idk. i fear it might be towards the end of our friendship. but i really hope not. n ur right, those kind of relationships DONT come everyday. i felt we were SO close. but I still keep asking myself why? why did she end it? i still dont get y. if we had a fight then tats easy to understand. u move on. but this way its sooo much harder. its not tat bad on days when she kinda stays out of my path n is just quiet in class. i can almost live with tat. but the hardest part is when i see her right after class in the hallway n she'll start laughing with MY best friend and having a ball, and then when I try to talk she'll just barely want to talk...n i wish girls werent so evasive. tat they cud actually SAY wat was wrong, instead of this. :/ ahh, oh well. w/e. N thanks too. :) It's SO great having someone who went through the same exact thing. I thought I was the onlyyy one n no one could understand. :) Thx n good luck too!
17 Apr 10
I had a very similair situatiion like the one you were having.I had a really close friend who I lost because of small differences.Even now I feel bad that I do not speak to her anymore.EGO plays a big part in everyone's life and it is really difficult to let go of it.There are millions of times I wish things were the same and every once in a while I check her picture on facebook and it hurts.Nothing can be done now.We will just have to hope that time mends the pain or make some attempt to get back.If the other person is not willing then there is nothing can be done whatsoever.
• United States
18 Apr 10
Yeah!! Tats exactly how I feel! :O It sucks so much, doesnt it?? sigh. yea, tats wats unfortunate. idk y she doesnt seem to be willing to get our friendship back. maybe i just need to show her how good of a friend i am and give her some space and she'll realize it in her own time. Our friendship is still there, but its just inching along. I fear it'll never be as strong as what it could've been and was. :*( with this weak friendship now it'll pbbly fizzle out over the long summer break like most friendships that are weak do.and itll be d end of it. while i was so close to possibly being her best friend in the future. cuz i kno we had so much in common n got along great. n it would just break my heart to be in school next year and see her having fun and laughing with all her other friends except me. :(
17 Apr 10
Well, yeah...but not to the point that I'd hate them. Like for example, I have this friend...she just can't seem to get over her ex...and it's been months already. I mean I know it's not easy to move on..but the problem is she's not even trying..and then she'll be bitter about the fact that her ex has already found someone else..and she's so affected as if her ex betrayed her when he really didn't.. It's annoying sometimes... .
17 Apr 10
Hi, Well, you are supposed to expect the most from your best friend. You will expect support and kind words from him even when everything seems to be falling apart. I once had a friend whom I considered very true friend. But, then I found out, to my greatest shock, that he is actually taking me to wrong path. I don't blame him. He was, and perhaps still now is, quite confused and mislead himself. He helped me, I have to admit that. But then he suddenly turned into something that was quite awful and unfortunate. I have to let him go as he was hurting my self respect. No matter how strong you are, the people you have around you will always have the potential to affect your attitude. I not only forgave him, but I also pity him, as no matter how hard I tried, he always seemed to have an inclination to take the wrong way. Thanks God bless you
• United States
18 Apr 10
yea, i know what you mean. friends definitely can have a huge impact on your behavior and attitude. And although I don't have a situation as big as that, my BFF changed my attitude. I went from being super quiet and shy to having a bit of an attitude and being able to stand up for myself. but at the same time I guess it's kinda bad cuz I'll never be as super nice as I was before. And tats the best thing to do I think. After a while you just need to forgive and forget, and u feel better too.