Should I feel sorry for tim?

United States
April 17, 2010 9:20am CST
Tim spoke to a good friend of ours yesterday. He did not know I had made up my mind to move back to Miami. I am moving so I can get my own flea market booth where I was working before. I tried it out here in Ny and it will not work. It is too cold for me. Tim told her that he wanted to move in with me but would not because of mike living here. He also told her he has no place to live. No job and now no car. He also told her he is going to pay me back my $300 dollars as soon as he can. I don't feel sorry for him being he is a grown man. I am taking buying things to fill my booth with. I found wholesalers to restock with. I am going to get my business license and hope I can get my daughter back on track. I can not let a man hold me back who can't help me when I am down. I took back my cable boxes yesterday and will be sending back the last one. Being that I have to struggle this hard to make it I can't see why I would stay. She told me not to say anything to him. so I did not. But last night he asked if I could stay here and is he not worth me staying for. What would make you stay in Ny?
2 people like this
6 responses
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
17 Apr 10
Well honestly, it wouldn't be hard. I have never been to NYC but have always wanted to be from when I was just a kid. I would be happy in the City as I usually am. I would need a secure place to hang my hat and one that allowed a small quiet and housetrained dog. Ideally the location would be near a park so to walk my dog in. I could find work once I got there, no problem. I find that you are in your right mind for making the decision for the reasons that you have. You do not need a tag along at this time nor should you have to support someone who doesn't seem to care to help themselves, when you are struggling to make a better life for yourself. You have a good head on your shoulders and you are working toward foreseen goals. Keep mobving ahead and if there is anything that could possibly stand in your way, let go of it. Drop this guy like a hot potatoe. Keep yourself available for someone with a like mind, enthusiasm and energy. Not hum drum, bring you down type. I would never let another person in my life, weigh bearing on my decisions of location to reside. Especially just some guy. If I were engaged or married, that would be a different story. Move on and don't lok back. You are an adult and do not have to answer to anyone.
• United States
17 Apr 10
I really needed to read your post. it is like you know my heart. I love tim and have for years. But,his life has never been geared for success unless it was quick money which is why he is on parole now. I can't afford to feed my daughter and him. He is too needy as it is. I buy him clothes and all. I stopped this after loaning him the money though. Thanks for this I really like reading it.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
19 Apr 10
Hey, you are most welcome and I feel for you. Thank you for the nice comment. It is hard when we have strong feelings for someone who just isn't vutting it in one area or another. I've been there. Move on because you can. I feel that this situation isn't the one that is meant to be. One door closes and another opens. You will look back on this situation in years to come. You may still feel what you did for him but you will see things through different eyes. Stay strong and don't look back (for a long while). Cheers.
@shebee28 (230)
• United States
17 Apr 10
If you are unhappy with your situation, i would not stay, if you can be somewhere else where you are happier and can be more financially stable i would say go for it. At the end of the day you need to do you. Is there a chance this person might want to move to Miami with you? That might be something you can try...Or if its not worth that just go and start over.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Apr 10
I would have to put him on my rental lease. I had to go in the homeless shelter to get my section 8. I will never put any one on my lease. He is on parole and I could lose my housing so no. He would have to wait a year and come when it is all over. But,he also told my friend he does not want to move to Florida. So that is it with him moving with me.
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
17 Apr 10
giftsandbagscom, As you've said it yourself here that you do not feel sorry for him as he is already a grown man. Besides, it seems like he has a life of his own to which he doesn't seem to include you. In the words of Richard Le Gallienne: “Stay the course, light a star, Change the world where'er you are.” So, I say move on and take care.
• United States
17 Apr 10
If he had openly talked to me about things months ago things would be different. I can't keep putting me second to everyone else. I think my mother would agree with me.
1 person likes this
@zim1fW (286)
• Philippines
17 Apr 10
As I can understand the only reason you want to move to Miami is your flew market booth and NY is too cold for you, and not escaping from Tim. Explaining him those reasons, I guess there's nothing in NY that can hold you until NY unless it becomes the summer capital of United States.
• United States
17 Apr 10
My friend just left from down here I told her what he said. She agrees I should not stay for him. I am going to start packing next month and hope to be gone by july.
• United States
17 Apr 10
It sounds like you have more opportunity elsewhere and folks like Tim are just bringing you down and holding you back from your dreams for yourself and daughter. Sometimes a change is worth wild to get away from elements that don't help lift you up but keep you down. You don't need that! No one does! Do what you need to do and I wish you luck in getting your business started in Miami! Keep us posted :0)
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
17 Apr 10
If my flea market was helping me to pay my bills, I would reconsider staying in New York. And if Tim, would be a better man that he is. If he stopped being so slack and irresponsible. I would have to see some big chances. If not, then it is off to Miami, I will go. You have to do what is best for you. If Tim has dragged you along with him, and he has nothing to provide for you, then you will have to take care of you. It is time that you start thinking about you and your kids. Tim may need to be alone for a while so that he can evaluate the qualities of being a real man to you.