Do You Have Any Tips?

@erikmama (12934)
United States
April 17, 2010 11:29pm CST
So as most of you know I am 5 months out of an abusive relationship. While I am not ready for anewcommited relationship. I amready for a male friens and companionship! Problemis, after being with himfor 6 years I am not sure HOW to do it anymore!! Add to that all the DRAMA stories i have to tell...and there a plenty...with my scared and it is a disaster! I have talked to a couple guys,exchanfed numbers, then I dont call or answer...because I dont know how to start it anymore! Any tips fromanyone who has dated after being with the same person for a long time? Keep in mind I was abused so that adds to my concern and my problem.I was not allowed to have friends ot be out to socialize to oftenso I amreally dusty!
3 responses
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
19 Apr 10
Perhaps the most important thing that you should do in getting involved with a new relationship is to take things slow. Don't force yourself into a relationship that you aren't completely comfortable with and don't let the man that you are seeing make things move at a pace that is not comfortable for you. Make sure that he knows that there have been things that have happened in your past that have been traumatic and hopefully from this you will find someone who you are comfortable with and will accept you despite the things that you've faced in the past.
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
8 Jan 11
Well I know that you keep up with my discsussions, and so you know we did do whatever it was we did for 3 months. Other than that I do not feel that I am ready for a relationship, and still have not engaged in one since this time. I do not think that I am fully healed from the wounds he caused me, and I do not know if I ever will be. There are still a lot of things that I am trying to do in my life, and a man just is not one of those things, even now. Hopefully one day I will have the desire to be with someone again, but I dont even know at this point. I know that fast involvement is something that WON'T happen, and I do not know that there is a man out there would wanna go as slow as I will need to take it.
• United States
19 Apr 10
Well, I think that you should just be yourself when talking to interests. When you describe your past at some point to a future interest let them know about the abusive relationship when you are comfortable enough to do so. I would make it clear that you would not stand for that again, but say it in a nonchalant way. Also, unless you want to be alone you have t o put your self back out there. There are abusive jerks, but there are also many, many good men who would protect you from everyone else. If you see signs of abuse starting from someone you are dating, be ready to dump him fast. But also realize that a good man is out there for you as well.
1 person likes this
@ybong007 (6659)
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
Time flies really fast. I'm glad your back but continue to take it easy. I can't give you much advice though. Just keep everything in strides and surely the right one will come to you.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
8 Jan 11
Time does fly. 3 months and it will be a year, though he and I did sort of get back together-if you will clal it that-for about 3 months. At this point in my life I do not fel that I am ready for a relationship, as crazy as it may seem. There are so many other things that I have got to get together first, then maybe by the time that is all said and done I will be. But I know that it is ogoing to be very hard to fo.