When you don't want someone to be your friend anymore...

Lithuania
April 20, 2010 3:38pm CST
Have you ever experienced that?When something inside of you starts rejecting someone you've known for a while?This girl drinks and smokes weed.I never judged her for that.I thought she can control the process.Now I see that this affects her mind and mood,and everything.I think she needs a specialist.I simply don't want to see that drunk person calling me b**** in front of my surprised colleagues anymore. What would you do in my place?
2 people like this
13 responses
@mezulu (166)
• United States
20 Apr 10
I am very familiar with this, unfortunately. For about five years I had a very close group of friends. We would all hang out every day after school and just talk, or play games or go to the movies; typical stuff. Then a few new members joined the group, people I didn't really care for. I tried to express my feelings towards the other original members of our group, but they didn't seem to care that I didn't want the new additions. So when they started acting differently towards me, I had no choice but to remove myself from the group. I haven't looked back since, and I actually stand by my decision. I have new friends now that care more about how I feel; friends that are loyal.
• Lithuania
20 Apr 10
Me too, I can't be with people that show no respect towards me and don't care about my opinion.I just leave.
@earnnings (1298)
• India
21 Apr 10
Ignoring is the best policy in such cases. Better to stop the pure friendship bond rather than continuing a dramatical bond buddy...you have done right thing
• Turkey
21 Apr 10
I agree with you.. Everyone knows that, one pair of shoes is never different from the other.. Like a half of an apple.. So, in my opinion, having close opinions and moods is the most important thing in friendships. For sencronisation... The right thing done by you...
@savypat (20246)
• United States
21 Apr 10
Can you get her to talk to you when she's sober? If so you could tell her that you want to support her and would be glad to help but that you can't afford to risk your job or your reputation when she is rude to you in front of others. This may not go over well, but by laying it on the line you are setting guide lines for your friendship. Just be kind but firm. You know she will be hurt and mad, but at this time all she can consider is herself, that's one of the biggest problems of dealing with addicted people.
• Lithuania
21 Apr 10
When she's sober, she's avoiding me.Because my words go straight to her brain and she can't forget what I say.This is the first addicted person in my life.I'll try to do my best, but I'm not sure if it will work.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
22 Apr 10
This may not work but you can always get stronger if necessary. If you start out that way it's hard to restore the relationship. You may just have to tell here you know she needs help and until she gets her life together you don't want to be friends. I hope it won't come to this, addicts need all the support they can get.
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
when he/she will back bitting me. also a plastic person that always very good freind infront of you but in your back.there a ot of things he could say bad to you.
• Lithuania
21 Apr 10
Yes, some friends do this behind your back.
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
yah!thats true, trey are very nice at u but behind ur back they tell you bad things. that perso will be consider as a good friend.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Apr 10
I've had friends I've drifted away from, but never anybody I just chose not to associate with any more.
• Lithuania
20 Apr 10
It happened naturally to you,I guess.In my case,I want to cut off the relationship and it's not easy to do that because the other part doesn't see any problem in it.
@earnnings (1298)
• India
21 Apr 10
oh ti agree with silvercoin...drift them away from life:)
1 person likes this
@cbjones (1157)
• United States
20 Apr 10
I've had to present an ultimatum to friends who had a reckless lifestyle in the past. It's never easy, but I think it's best to stand firm and be as blunt as possible.I never want to come off as trying to be someone else's parent, but I expect friends to take some responsibility for their actions. They can either make what would appear to be a needed change in the way they conduct themselves in the presence of people they claim to be friends with, or they can choose to keep doing what they are doing, and become a loner in the process. Nobody really wants to be a lone in life. Unless you deal with your demons and quirks, you may end up having no choice in the matter.
• Lithuania
20 Apr 10
I hate rejecting people I know, but this time I have to.
@earnnings (1298)
• India
21 Apr 10
We can select or choose friends but we cannot choose parents. This is know fact, whatever silvercoin tells is right just reject them....
• United States
21 Apr 10
I can relate to this situation, and its sad but sometimes people grow apart or travel and different directions. In this case I would ask myself is this friend worth keeping around, does her good out weigh her bad. If she is a good friend then I would talk with her and let her know hey I don't like your lifestyle of drinking and smoking its not my character and tell her if she wants to hang around you or continue being your friend she can't smoke or drink with you because it disrespects you. if she choses not to abide then I would move on and keep distance... good luck
• Lithuania
21 Apr 10
I'll have to keep distance.She always thought it's an honor for me to be her friend because she has a master degree and I don't.But she acts like person from the street.Her lifestyle is "I do what I want".For me, public opinion and respect is important.
@earnnings (1298)
• India
21 Apr 10
yeah i have experienced this in my most early school age. I was good friend of her but when i came to knew about her double character which is like that of snake's. I have decided to cut relation with her and stopped talking with her in my whole schooling. She used to behave as very closest to my heart with me but the fact is she used to feel jealousy of me. I came to know this by listening and seeing everything with my ears and eyes. Usually i don't believe in others complaints but i will investigate based on my investigation i will decide the things...So i think this was too early to experience in my case...i will definitely stopped to continue friendship with such shamless persons...what do you say ?^_^
• Lithuania
21 Apr 10
I'm gonna say what I think about her.I'll try not to be rude if possible.But I can't guarantee.
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
When I lost the trust to my friends coz of some circumstances, its hard to gain the trust anymore.
• Lithuania
21 Apr 10
Sometimes it's impossible!
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
if I were in your place, I would stay away. it's hard I know, because I'm guessing you have been friends for quite a while. but the thing is you have to look out for yourself first. you wont be able to help her unless you help yourself first.
• Lithuania
21 Apr 10
Yes, it's really hard.But I won't save her if she doesn't want to be saved.
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
it is very hard to regain trust and to expect again that your friend will not do it against you again.. So why keep them who can contaminate and are contagious?
• Lithuania
21 Apr 10
I ask myself the same thing.I shouldn't poison my life.
• China
21 Apr 10
Hi, silvercoin. I once had a friend. She was my first friend after I settled in this city. At first, I found her very nice and considerate. I usually hung out with her after work or at the weekends. But the more I got to know her, the stronger I felt we couldn't become true friends. She is so mean by placing her own self-interest above all else. From then on I managed to freeze her off. And gradually, we became estranged from each other.
• Lithuania
21 Apr 10
I experience the same.I feel like I have nothing in common with her,and I get a new proof everyday.
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
i stay away from her, or get rid of her presence. I don't want to compel myself staying in a person i don't feel friendship anymore with him or her. why? because we couldn't consider everybody as your friend sometimes they will make things against you. that is why i don't like them anymore. sometimes they talk of anything like this like that and a friend who couldn't keep secrets, the one i do not like. better to find another friend or to tell her frankly that you don't like her attitude.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
21 Apr 10
It is alright to choose your friends! you have every right to do so and that is because you know for sure what is good and not for you - bad friends doing not normal things may only lead you be badly influenced. i think it is the right choice. you can slowly stay away from this person by not being in constant communication with her... the best thing you can do is to pursuade her to stop doing whatever she is doing that is causing her life dearly... that what's friends do... but i think if she does not listen to anyone anymore... then it is about time you save yourself before you fall as a victime yourself.