Does your partner get furious when there is a mention of an 'ex'?

@eshan7 (34)
India
April 22, 2010 5:42pm CST
My girlfriend is one of a kind. She's always nice and polite and caring and understanding, unless someone mentions my ex. As soon as i realize that she heard it, i know what to expect, death is on its way! Then follows all the insults and cursing and the 'how she was bad' talks and 'how i am better' talks. The best way to handle this is just being audience to whatever she has to say! Do you have the same problem?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
22 Apr 10
Hi, eshan7. My husband does not like when I bring up my ex name and what we did together. And he may not say anything then and there, but sooner or later he may bring it up in an argument. If I tell him that another dude was looking at me in a way that says, "I want to get with you".. Or if they ask me for my phone number, or they holler at me saying sweet words. I can't tell my husband this because he will get mad. He will tell me that he does not want to hear about another guy. Your girlfriend just wants to be your one and only lover. That is why she gets mad if your ex name is brought up.
@eshan7 (34)
• India
23 Apr 10
That is right, but its like me and my ex are really gud frnds so it is evident that somebody mentions her name some or the other time.!!
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
23 Apr 10
And how do you feel about that as her boyfriend?
@jugsjugs (13046)
22 Apr 10
Well to be honest with you i do not have a good word to say about my ex and neither do alot of people that i know so i tend not to mention him unless i really have to.However i did have an ex stop and chat the other day outside the front of my house and we did part on good terms even though he threatened to kill himself when i dumped him.The way i see it is with the partner you are with is now and the future and all the exs in the world cant mess that up.The past is the past and should remain in the past,i do not have a problem with any of my exs so why should anyone else.
@eshan7 (34)
• India
23 Apr 10
Well said... :)
@mackiejp (376)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
There is no way for me to mention about EX-BF because I don't have anyone before my husband...:) My husband was my only boyfriend, He had me when I was 14 and he was 15 then...But before me he had 3 EX-GF, he was not too serious with them so I didn't have any problem with that, he never mentioned them to me instead I was the one who asked him about them, then he just shared their simple stories without intense emotion so I feel nothing towards those EX.What matters now is we are together for 17years now...
@markleob (1904)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
well bro, i am so lucky because my girl will be,of course, jealous but she can handle it.. we will talk it if we were alone... and there is nothing really bad moments to expect if she could hear the name of my exes because she also had exes.... she is fair... maybe you are the first boyfriend of you girlfriend and that is the reason why she acts like that,...
@cupkitties (6689)
• United States
23 Apr 10
Yep. I agree with Jugjugs up there. Maybe you should talk to your girlfriend about her behavior. It seems as if she suddenly feels like shes in a competition with the ex from the things shes saying. Find out why she feels that way. It could be she takes what is being said about the ex wrong or shes just has an insecurity about her.
@blablablu (222)
• Indonesia
23 Apr 10
LOL. Looks like your GF is like a more-exclusive type. It actually depends to how you and your partner deal with the past. I, for instance, have no problem at all when I and my partner talk about each other ex. Well, I admit that there were some times that my partner looked like jealous when we talked about our ex. Soon after I sensed that aura, I try to change the topic. I agree with your "best way to handle" things. It is useless to talk with someone who hot-headed. Better wait until they calmed down and then we start to talk again. Cheers!
@npadecio (161)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
hi eshan. My wife is a complete opposite of this, both of us actually simply because we understand each other together with our past. In fact, I met the family of her ex several times and we hanged out, and she had the same as to mine, and we had 1no problems with it. The word "mention" could have a broader meaning. If you mention it just once maybe during a conversation that's somehow related, I would say that it's absolutely alright. If you mentioned it several times, I think that's a different thing already, somehow frustrating and really annoying. I would say that you'd better talk this over with her, but if it doesn't changed anything then avoid the word 'ex' as much and as long as you can for your girlfriend.
@chiyosan (29389)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
haha sometimes he does.. and most of the time i try not to mention anything at all! he gets jealous very fast and i think it bothers him a lot. i give credit to him on this as he rarely or actually never mentioned his ex to me as well.
@sofabnnn (109)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
Unknowingly I do that too. First of all many girls are not alike, even some say they are essentially the same. It depends on one's maturity. For me, I keep quiet and sometimes smile and giggle about it, it's in the past anyway. Because I know I'm still one of a kind for him and knowing that he's with me I say he loves me dearly. Being a girl will not stop her of the things that happened in the past. You're girlfriend needs to understand that and she should think moving forward. for you my friend, don't stop assuring her that you love her! =)
@ada8may21 (2419)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
If your girlfriends still acts like that, I guess she has insecurities. Its not a good thing that the only thing you could do is to be an audience. For her not to be insecure, make her sure how much you love her now compare to the other women you have had before. Make her feel that way so that she wont have insecurities. Every time my beau talks about her ex's I would not matter, but instead I would love hearing about them. I would asked some questions but its not about "who's better" or "how is she bad". It's just a simple questions of "how things get worst" or "why they broke up" and "how they meet". Just like knowing about her and him. After 3 yrs in this relationship its just now that my beau would be comfortable talking about his ex's because he builds the security in me. That I would not feel any insecure once we talked about his ex's.