Should this woman be charged with a crime?

@dragon54u (31298)
United States
April 23, 2010 7:34am CST
My area of the country was very worried, many prayed for the safety of a woman who disappeared last week. She was going shopping and never came home to her husband and one year old baby girl. They found her car with the keys locked inside at a park. Well, after hundreds of hours of police work they found her in Florida with a man she ran away with to start a new life. She didn't tell anyone what she was doing and was so secretive that nobody in her family suspected she had a lover. They knew they were being searched for, which is why they drove out of state. The police and prosecutors are considering charging her so they can recover some of the exorbitant expense of the search. Do you think she should be charged with a crime?
4 people like this
21 responses
@TheAdvocate (2395)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
I was just watching Missing Persons Unit which featured a woman who disappeared for 17 years. She had some financial problems so she staged her disappearance. She even left a ransom note behind. The police found her in Florida eventually. She was charged with filing a police report and fined. I think she should be charged with a crime. Valuable resources were spent just because she did not have the courage to come clean to her family.
2 people like this
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
23 Apr 10
I agree, all of the sweat and tears and time it has taken to find her, she should be held liable for her mess up! This money could have been very well spent on someone that really needed someone to look for them.
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12165)
• United States
27 Apr 10
NO, I don't think she should be charged with a crime!!! YES, I think she should be responsible for the expenditures it took to look for her!!! All I know at this point is how the press has perceived this case & I think you know me well enough to know I'm NOT that impressed with most press coverage!!! When I first saw this on the news, I thought what a rotten person. Then after she was found, her husband spoke with the press & said anybody could make a mistake & he forgave her. The look in his eyes reminded me of my first husband & suddenly I NO longer looked at the rotten side of this woman. My thoughts were "What if... ...he abused her & she just couldn't take it any more??? ...he had told her, you leave e & I'll kill you??? ...he told her...you'll NEVER take my baby away from me. You can leave, but you will NOT take my baby??? ...he knew where she was ALL the time & just waiting for the cops to bring her home??? My ex would hug me in public & say "I love you" loud enough for everybody to hear & then whisper to me "I'll beat your asss when I get you home" if I did ANYTHING he didn't like. Anything could be smiling or saying hello at a time he didn't like. Maybe her parents didn't see this in her husband & she feared they would tell him where she was!!! There are SOOOOO many unanswered questions, I don't know why she did what she did. I do know the police department said they couldn't come up with a crime to charge her with , but they do plan on her reimbursing the department the $5,000 it spent looking for her. $5,000 does NOT equate to hundreds of hours. So, there is a LOT here that reeks of smelly fish!!! I'm sure we'll NEVER know the true story, but I still don't think she deserves to be charged with anything nor spend any time in jail for running away from home. If they do decide to prosecute, just think of the tax dollars wasted on such a frivolous case!!!
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
27 Apr 10
That's definitely something to think about. At first I could only think of how heartless she was to leave her child but you have a valid line of thinking. There are many marriages like that and the abused person suffers in silence and fear. They are going to be in Inside Edition on Thursday. That's not a show I watch but I will watch it then because I'm curious--it's none of my business but still I'd like to know. I'm sorry you went through that. I myself was in an abusive marriage but it was emotional instead of physical. I'm glad now that he found someone else.
@LadyMarissa (12165)
• United States
28 Apr 10
I usually watch another channel while IE is on; however, I do catch it a couple times a week. I'm setting me a reminder to watch it Thursday night. I also think it is NONE of our business,; but, how will we have an opinion if we don't watch it??? I don't like being told by the press how I should think; so, if I watch it, I can have half an opinion...where if I'm told by the press what I think, I'll have NO opinion!!! I was also sorry I had to go through all I did with him. However, I learned & grew from the experience & became MUCH stronger!!! In all honesty, I would NOT have been at the RIGHT place at the RIGHT time for the BEST thing that ever happened to me had it not been for that lesson!!! So, now I NO longer regret the experience!!!
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
28 Apr 10
I no longer regret my experience either. I wouldn't be who I am today without it. Sometimes we think we are going through the worst thing possible when it's actually the best thing for us. Good steel has to be fired or it breaks during the first hard battle. I guess we've both been tempered to hold a fine, hard and unbreakable cutting edge.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
24 Apr 10
Yes, she should be charged. She misled the police and distracted them from working on REAL crimes. She cost the taxpayers who knows how much for all the hours of searching they did. She caused her family emotional distress. She abandoned her child. She should have to pay for the whole dam expense!
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
24 Apr 10
From what I hear, they will charge her thousands of dollars. I can hardly believe it when I hear that she misses her daughter but is staying in Miami with her married lover. This woman is seriously lacking something.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
24 Apr 10
She is lacking a lot of things and mainly a heart. Any woman that can leave her child like that doesn't deserve the child and has no idea what love really is. Her lover is married? Brilliant. She deserves whatever she gets.
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
23 Apr 10
Hi, dragon54u. This is a big mess here! How can she just leave her family to run off with some man? This is pitiful! And I here I am thinking that she murdered or just kidnapped.. I tell you, this woman is very wrong for what she did. I think that she should be expected to pay back any money that was used for the search purposes to find her. She put this on her own self. This was very careless of her to up and leave her family. She has a child that is still an infant.. And her husband was probably worried sick about her. Shame on this woman! It does not play to commit adultery!
1 person likes this
@amorlife1 (370)
• South Africa
23 Apr 10
Gosh, it's funny how love can make a person act so stupidly! Look at it this way: If someone picks up the phone and calls the bomb squad and tells them that there is a bomb in a building, and the bomb squad move in, preparing all their equipment and calling in all their experts and all their manpower, and they go to the building and start searching it from bottom to top, and then right at the top, they find a woman standing there and laughing, and she tells them that it was just a joke, there is no bomb... Is that a crime? would the woman be liable to pay the city for all the the work it took to search the building for a non-existent bomb? I think so. And I think that is EXACTLY what this woman did... she played a joke or prank on the police (even if she consciously didn't do it intentionally). And the same punishment for a prankster should be applicable to her. Look on the reverse side... what if while the police was busy with this manhunt, real crimes were taking place and there were not enough policemen to handle them because they were all looking for this 'lost' woman? I think she should be held responsible for her actions, so that it will also serve as an example to others.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
23 Apr 10
You have a good point. There was a time, a day after she ran off, when she could have called it off but she let them look for 5 more days.
• South Africa
23 Apr 10
Imagine! A week of wasted time. She must pay. Imagine if your child was really missing and there was no policeman available to look for him because everyone was out looking for this woman. I don't know what her reason was but it sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. Especially if she is going back to her husband. Then what was the point?
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
23 Apr 10
I think that she could be charged with child abandonment at the least, and if she took money out of her husband's own checking and saving account, with theft. It depends on whether she took some of the property that both her and her husband shared. Since they were not divorced, that would be most likely. Unfortunately I do not think that the crime of alienation of affection is still on the books for today.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
23 Apr 10
If that crime was still on the books I would've had a much easier time when my husband filed for divorce! The married man she ran off with took $2,000 out of his checking account to fund their "new life". His wife did not report him missing, which tells you a little about what this woman could probably expect. Her husband wants her back. I hope they can get past this.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
24 Apr 10
I bet that creep's wife was glad to get rid of him. It could be that he was also an abuser. I do hope that the woman who ran off is more careful the next time and does not think just because a man is charming, that her life with him would be much better then at home with her husband. But I do think she was ashamed for being fooled by that no good cad.
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
23 Apr 10
If she knew that the police was involved, she should have gotten a hold of them and let them know. I don't think she should be in trouble for leaving, but if she was aware there was alerts out about her missing, she should have to repay some of the expenses.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
23 Apr 10
I agree with you. Knowing that your family and husband are in fear for your life should lead a person to contact them. She knew there was a massive manhunt for her. She left no note or anything so they assumed she was in danger.
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
23 Apr 10
Even if she did not want to contact the family, for any reason. She should have let the authorities know, if she knew they were out looking. I am sure she left for reasons we will never know, but how could you let all these people, spend tons of money searching for you.
@piya84 (2591)
• India
24 Apr 10
Hiii there dragon Well it think so yes.she should be fines and that man as well.There should be alert for him as well.so both of them should be fined as police wasted their lot of time for searching them. But she should not be punish for adulatory.Its not the crime and people shuld not be punish for such a reason.
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
24 Apr 10
I would like to see adultery become a crime once more. It's horrible for someone to betray their spouse like this. They should at least be required to divorce one before leaving with another. It's disrespectful and humiliating. I know you can't legislate morality but what she did is so horrible. At least, as I hear it, she'll be assessed $6,000 for the expenses of looking for her and I think they should fine her married lover as well. What she did was not a crime, true, but her daughter will pay for the rest of her life--she'll live with the fact that her mother loved her so little that she ran off and abandoned her. There is such a huge price to what this woman did, way beyond the monetary costs.
@sasalove (1710)
• China
24 Apr 10
When I see the first two lines, I thought that the woman is missing for kidnapping. I could not understand why the woman adopt such kind of means to run away. It is illegal for such behaviour from the morality. A person can not disappear in the community without any reason. From the perspective of the law, I don't think the woman should be charged with a crime as there is not written record in the regulation. Now her lover and she are discoverred and she would deserve the moral punishment. If she did not get along well with her hub, why not just have a divorce to end up the relationship.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
24 Apr 10
A reasonable person would tell her husband before leaving--or try to work it out. Her husband had no idea what was going on. From what I've read the woman is staying in Florida (a state down south) with her married lover and will be charged $6,000 to help with the expenses of looking for her, since she knew they were and didn't call anyone. She says she misses her daughter but won't go back. This is unbelievable to me. I could never leave my children. Something is wrong with this woman.
@bellis716 (4807)
• United States
24 Apr 10
Could she be charged with child abandonment since she left her with the child's father but didn't tell him she was leaving?
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
24 Apr 10
I don't think so. That's usually reserved for the father, no matter what the reason, if he is the main breadwinner. According to reports, she says she misses her daughter but is staying in Miami with her lover. I don't think she misses her child so much as she says. I hope the little girl can get past this and her family will fill in the gap left by her mother who has lost all her maternal instincts.
@anne25penn (3310)
• Philippines
24 Apr 10
This is weird, suing someone for the expenses of their police department. I don't think she should be charged for this, but I do think that the woman has to do some legal action because she is still married.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
24 Apr 10
In the United States you can't be charged with a crime if you abandon your family. I personally think that is wrong. But this woman and her married lover purposely evaded police even when they knew they were being looked for, racking up expenses for the police and heartache for their families. She will probably be liable for $6,000 in expenses for their efforts, especially since she knew there was a manhunt and they both took evasive action rather than call and say she was okay. Most notable was the her married lover's wife did not report her husband missing. I don't think that the adulterers have much of a future.
@mentalward (14716)
• United States
24 Apr 10
I don't think she should be charged with a crime but I do think she should be held accountable for the costs incurred in the manhunt (womanhunt?). It was morally and ethically wrong for her to leave without a word and then hide when she knew they were looking for her. It's obvious that she didn't care at all about those she left behind since she so easily abandoned her own baby. I can't imagine leaving your own child behind! I hope her husband nails her in court!
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
24 Apr 10
She says she misses her child so much, yet she says she will stay in Miami and start a new life. As a mother, I can't understand that. I would do ANYTHING to be with my children, anything! Perhaps the husband was abusive? But then why would she leave her little girl with him? This is a very mysterious case. And it's looking like they'll be nailing her for about $6,000 in expenses.
• United States
23 Apr 10
This is ridiculous, she should be charged. I am sensing a psychological problem here, no one in their right mind would be leaving their baby at home to run off with another man. I can never understand how people can do that, maybe I am biased since I was left at the hospital by my birth mother who lied on every document she signed, but that's so cruel. Charge her! let her pay!
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
23 Apr 10
I believe she will be liable for $6,000. I read some more about it a few hours ago and apparently she and her married lover were doing everything they could not to be discovered even though they knew people were worried about her and the cops were looking for her. I'm sorry about your birth mother. I think sometimes that women have lost their maternal instincts starting around the 1970's. I hope you have had a good life without her!
@bunnybon7 (32484)
• Holiday, Florida
23 Apr 10
yes especially since she had a small child to be concerned with. she should have left a note or something. how stupid. she should have to do community services and pay a few dollars a week or month back to the authorities for the search bill. its not about wanting to get away. she should have concidered leaving some sort of explaination to someone even if it wasnt her husband.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
23 Apr 10
You would think she'd at least tell her parents, right? Or made arrangements to be sure her baby was cared for properly. I heard they are going to try to get her to repay $6,000.
@coffeegurl (1471)
• United States
23 Apr 10
This really depends...was she so afraid of her husband that she was afraid to tell him of her plans? Was he abusive? THere has to be more to this story than they are saying////
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
23 Apr 10
There probably are details that we might never hear. She may have been afraid of her husband, that's true. But not to tell her parents who lived in the same town as she did? Or leave a note? I think it might just be a case of misplaced priorities. At least I hope so. I hate to hear that people are abused, men or women.
• United States
23 Apr 10
Yes I do and I also think she should have to pay every penny back for the costs incurred searching for her. What a nasty piece of work she must be!
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
23 Apr 10
Yes, I think she must be either a very selfish person or mentally disturbed. Not a thought for anyone but herself, apparently. She may be billed $6,000.
@cmjune76 (274)
• United States
23 Apr 10
Isn't wasting government or state dollars a crime? In any case she shoud foot the bill for irresponsibility. How hard is it to contact your local police dep't when one chooses to adandon your family so they have a head's up?
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
23 Apr 10
If wasting government or state dollars was a crime, every single congressman and senator would be locked up! I just heard they are going to try to bill her $6,000 to try to cover part of the expenses. I have no idea why she could not have just made a phone call or visited her parents before she left. Very selfish, isn't it?
@1hopefulman (19508)
• Canada
23 Apr 10
Definitely and they should also throw her in jail and throw away the key. She needs to be taught a good lesson. So does the man she ran away with. She wants to run away with her lover,fine, but then she should have left a note or called the police to let them know so that everyone knew what she had done. But to disappear and worry so many people is inexcusable. Sorry but I have no pity for such stupid and insensitive people and selfish people!
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
23 Apr 10
I think the key here is selfishness. Unfortunately, that is not a crime. There didn't seem to be any thought for how her actions would affect her daughter or how her parents and husband would be worried sick about her. She hasn't broken any laws so they can't try her but they can, if they can find a legal way to do it, make her repay some of the money spent on the case. I personally think her behavior and that of her lover is shameful. They could at least have had the decency to tell their spouses what was going on.
• India
23 Apr 10
State is maintaining police force on taxpayer's money. She did not invite them to come after her; they went looking for her because they wanted to know whether a crime is involved. After they found her, they found she has not done anything wrong. She left on her own accord and I think adultery is a crime, only in a Muslim country. Police and prosecutors are wrong in leveling a charge against her.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
23 Apr 10
I don't think they will charge her, they are just discussing it. In my eyes, she did a bad thing but not one punishable by law. However, once she discovered there was an investigation she should have called someone and stopped it.
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
23 Apr 10
I dont think she or they should be charged with a crime since one really wasnt committed from what i can see BUT I think that a lawsuit may be a possibility...I mean what CRIME did she commit really? Yes she sucks as a wife, mother, woman and human being but none of htose things are illegal ya know
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
23 Apr 10
You're right, of course. No crime was committed. I don't think the question of her paying back costs would even arise if the economy wasn't so bad. The police had so much overtime because so many were let go because the department had to cut their budget. So they are thinking of possibly trying to recover some of those costs.