Is feeling hurt our Choice?

I believe you are right, we do choose, but for those of us, (myself included) who have a hard time or as my husband calls it, being thinned skinned, it is hard to allow some things to roll off our shoulders. If it wasn't for my relationship with Christ, I would be something I can't say here and not very well liked at all, because I'd take things said or done to me and let the perp have it..

I completely agree with you, Pose123. I do not (often) go around saying or doing things in order to hurt other people and nor do most people I know. If people object to or take offence at what I say as an honest and considered expression of my opinion and feelings, that is their responsibility and they need to own it. If I pass carelessly by a bramble and scratch myself, I may idly curse the thorn that scratched me but I do so with a laugh at myself. It was my carelessness that injured me, not the fact that the bramble put thorns in my path.

Maybe feeling hurt is by choice at first, but continuing to let it eat at us is a choice we make ourselves. when some one hurts our feelings, we can either take it for what it is worth and move on in life, or we can sit and let it eat at us every day. Some times it is not done knowingly, and we talk to them and make it ok, or we get all huffed up and sit back and be pissssssed for the rest of our lives, letting it eat at us. I prefer to just take it as it comes, try to figure out what I did to make them do or say something to hurt me, and them if no way to right it, just move on with life.

Yes, we should never give so much importance to those who hurt us because we are the ones suffering. The best way to get even is to move forward and concentrate on our goals and accomplishments. Positive people cannot be defeated.

I think that you have to be an incredibly level-headed and almost perfect person in order to always apply that. I would love to be able to control how I always responded to another persons actions and therefore prevent myself from getting hurt. But the reality is that I can't always do that - because I'm only human when it comes down to it! But I guess some people are better at reacting and thus not reacting when it is a negative situation.

It is not our choice, who would want to be in that situation? right? For me, I believe that it all depend on how we react on certain things.

as you just said, it is human nature to feel life is about learning and move forward this is what life experiences are all about we experience it, and what we do about this experience is what matters let's say we are hurt, we can choose to hurt them back or to let them be we don't choose what we feel, sense, but we can choose what we do with the feelings, senses you can't choose to be sad or not to be sad feelings come automatic but you can choose not to dwell in sadness and if you make the effort to accomplish this you will achieve it

I'm one of them that tend to get hurt easily usually over nothing after I think about it awhile. So yes, I guess we do give people that power but its very hard to turn off and on. Usually the way I handle being hurt is to get mad. Some people cry or shut down I just get mad and spout off. Once your right there in the moment of someone going to say something or do something to hurt you, do you just ignore it or laugh it off?

Everything we do, we do by choice, for we are Creators, creating our lives, moment by moment, hour by hour, and day by day! There is absolutely nothing that occurs in our lives that we don't choose, because there is no such thing as luck, happenstance, or coincidence. Could it be, that we choose to allow others to hurt us, because we are blundering blindly through life?

Hi Pose, In fact we don’t want to give the power to others for hurting us. But simply it is not possible because we are so dependable to each other especially with the dear and near ones. If somebody failed to come up to the expectation of us then we may feel hurt. It is a natural feeling of human being and difficult to change this attitude in us.

Being hurt is not our choice. Getting ourselves out of that state is our choice. Whether we stay in that hurting state or not ultimately depends on us.

Human as we are, being hurt by someone or even unrestrained situations is only but normal. What's controllable here is how we handle that feeling. Expecting too much and not attaining it is the very reason why we feel bad. The best way to deal with as I agree to Pose123 is to choose not to be hurt. Accept our defeat but try to recover and stand up again. There always what we call the second chance and this time we may surpass what the others achieved before that cause our failure.Just always choose to be happy.

Infact, we rather field hurt by semeone who said samething bad about us. So do not Deserve that treatment. according to our nature, when we are disturbed naturally feel greatly annoyed, and react i avery stranger or sametimes even violent. We should always have a reserve of self controu not act like wild beasts. What is not always we do.[b][/b][i][/i][u][/u]

I mustn`t give on other peoples to hurt us , everybody who is hurted by somebody must do something.We can`t just stay there and be sad because of some id*ot.This is absurd for me , if somebody hurt me i don`t give chance to him to make it again , i stay on my position and do what i can to defend myself with words or something else . We can try not to care about this , but in one time it will hurt us and we won`t know how to react.I don`t give others the power to hurt me , this choice depend personally of the character of the people who is hurted.

To feel hurt is natural, but to dwell on it forever and ever is unnatural. The thing is to aknowledge hurt just long enough to use it as a motivation to solve the problem. A physical example. My finger hurts, so I am going to treat it in such a way as to make the pain go away, and solve the problem. If my finger hadn't hurt, I would not have known there was a problem. I knew, so I fixed it. The trick is to just keep the pain long enough to use it as a warning and solve the problem. When people hurt us emotionally, we need to take stock of the situation, and deal with it emotionally, use it to strengthen us, and then move on with our lives.

Yes, we have no control over life, but how we react to it is our choice. Our choice may come from consideration, or training, or learning or even our uncouscious mind. But all these things are within our control if we will only do it. Even our uncouscious mind can be controlled by our counscious mind.

I suppose that might be true in some cases but no I can't agree all the way because there are just things that no other emotion makes sense with. I mean would you expect someone to laugh joyfully after hearing the news that their beloved puppy was killed? People would think that person was off their rocker.

yes, I'm totally agree that it is our decision whether we want to be angry or not, whether we want to feel hurt or not. Perhaps we can't directly change our mind at the moment, but we have self control to make it happen. When I feel angry, usually I'm questioning in my heart,'is it necessary to be angry?' When I feel sad or hurt,'it is a waste of time and energy, wake up..be happy..somebody needs me to be happy..'. And yes..it is not easy to do, especially when we have just been hurt.However,we have to struggle over the evil in us..