Who should handle the finances?

United States
April 24, 2010 5:06pm CST
I am asking this question specifically to those who are either married or in a committed relationship.... Should the "bread-winner" be the one to handle the finances because they make more money or all of it???
3 people like this
13 responses
@TheAdvocate (2392)
• Philippines
24 Apr 10
I think the more responsible one should handle the finances, regardless of who is the breadwinner. My partner and I are both working but he earns more money than I do. However, he can sometimes be too generous with his friends. So we agreed that I will be the one handling our finances, and he will just have an allowance. My aunt and uncle on the other hand, have the same arrangement but with a twist. My uncle is the breadwinner while my aunt stays at home. My uncle is fiscally responsible while my aunt is a little flighty when it comes to money (I swear she left the money she was withdrawing in the ATM machine). So my uncle is the family's CFO.
1 person likes this
@asherra (35)
• Philippines
25 Apr 10
hi! i'm a married woman of 13 yrs and a mother of 5. regarding finances, there should be an agreement between the two of you on the handling of finances. in a married couple, the breadwinner isn't necessarily the one who should be handling the finances. it should be the partner who has a better grasp of MANAGING the finances. take for example my husband. in the beginning, he was the breadwinner BUT he was such a big spender. he accepted this fact that's why he knew that after a great deal was finished, if he was the one holding the cash, it might not be able to reach the budget we needed to survive! when the tables were turned and I became the breadwinner, I'm still the one managing the finances because he truly can't! I'd suggest that the more budget conscious partner be the one to handle and manage your finances but you've gotta leave something for the other partner even though he/she may not have a job at the present time because he/she is still entitled to his/her own personal necessity spending.
• United States
25 Apr 10
You bring up alot of good points, thanks for sharing!
• United States
24 Apr 10
Hi there. I'm the bread winner between my husband and I and I do handle the finances...but not because I make more money. In most couples, there is a spender and a saver. I'm an extreme saver to the point that I will save for anything I want to buy that's over $20, and I live an extremely frugal life. My husband, however, has been known to spend large chunks of money. Although he's gotten better over the years after I taught him perks of being frugal, I trust myself more than him when it comes to money. Part of the reason I manage the finances, too, is because my business is very financially based. I own a real estate business that I started at fifteen. Since starting it, I have to update the checkbooks constantly...rent, bank payments, condo payments, utility fees, changes in mortgages, interest payments, etc. for every month and every property I own. I started using online banking when it became popular, and because my husband and I use the same bank for everything, it was much easier for me to just keep track of everything while I was already on there updating my business accounts. We have a whole bunch of reasons why I manage the money and my husband doesn't...the above plus the fact he hates math and keeping up with something...the fact that we use savings accounts to save for upcoming vacations, etc., and it helps that I'm the one looking over it since I plan and he only thinks of "today"...either way, if I let my husband do it, it wouldn't get done.
• United States
25 Apr 10
wow! You started your business at 15? Impressive!
• United States
28 Apr 10
My husband is the one who works while I do not. I try to make money online and try to help out with the bills. I take care of the bills because my husband is not good with the finances. I feel that the one who can handle the finances and be responsible should be the one to pay the bills.
• Philippines
24 Apr 10
My husband is the provider but i'm the handler...lol We're married for 4yrs and as a housewife i know all the expenses to be settled every month-food, energy, wants, needs, etc. I give him his allowance and then everything is listed or alloted for everything that concerns the household.
• United States
25 Apr 10
What I'm finding very interesting, is that across the board, the man in the household seems to be the "spender" and the woman is the "saver". This also rings true in our household. Why is that? Guess this will be another discussion :-)
@mylila (104)
• Malaysia
26 Apr 10
I am not the primary breadwinner but I handle the finances. My husband is bad at managing his finances and so he would ask for my help to monitor our monthly cash flows.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
25 Apr 10
I think in any relationship both people should work together to handle the finances regardless of who the breadwinner is. A couple should work together in every aspect of the relationship. I don't think it is ever a good idea for just one to have complete control over the finances of any relationship. These decisions affect both of them so communication is very important I think.
• Philippines
25 Apr 10
Hi Brooke, between my husband and myself, we didn't really talked about it who should handle the money and our finances but he let's me handle both. My husband is a spender and he tends to buy unnecessary things at times even if it wasn't a need. So, he prefers to have a small amount of money in his wallet. I do the budgeting and stuff like that. If we have extra money we make sure we put it in our savings.
@zeethegr8 (785)
• India
24 Apr 10
Well, it depends from person to person. Sometimes men are irresponsible and misjudge or can't forecast expenses well, but if he's an accountant then you can't argue with him right! Same goes for women, but women have their weakness too - shopping! They'll spend wisely but if something puts them in an awe, you bet all sensibility is lost! But preferably the women should handle the expenses.
@jinjer168 (1596)
• Philippines
24 Apr 10
Hi there! I am married for 6 years going to seven and eversince, i am the one who handles our finances because my husband was not used to budgeting our money well. I am a person who was modest in spending each and every cents of what we've earned, good in savings as well so he decided that i'll be the one who will handle our finances and i will just gave him his allowance. For me, its not necessarily the bread-winner who should handle the money, it's the one who have the ability to handle the finances very well and cares for the one who earned that money. Have a nice day!
• Philippines
25 Apr 10
Hi! In our culture if you are married, it is the wife who handle the finances. No matter what her status is, whether she's a working girl or a plain housewife. The husband is the provider, but of course the finances and budget should be planned together.
@tolted (190)
24 Apr 10
I do not think the bread winner necessarily has to handle the finances. Like someone mentioned here it should be the person who is more responsible and the saver in the home. I guess open communication is key between couples because money can easily cause arguments in the home.
@Nessa314 (58)
25 Apr 10
I definitely agree with the posts above that say both the people in the relationship should handle the finances. Irrespective of whether or not you are the breadwinner, it is important to have enough respect for your partner to share the responsibility of planning your finances together. Each partner has some expectations and some requirements both within and outside the relationship. So it is very important for both partners to sit together and decide how to divide the money. Another aspect is that both partners have lived their own separate lives before getting together. So it is not fair to expect each other to give up everything that one did individually before getting into the relationship. Hence, these factors have to be accounted for while planning the budget. This will not be possible unless both partners plan the budget together.