To those who are married..Not married.. and soon to be married, please read.

Philippines
April 27, 2010 2:11am CST
This is a long post and hope you give at least a little of your time reading it. This is timely for those people who are currently facing life's trial over their marriage. This is a good read... "When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy s holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - DEAD." The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
4 people like this
18 responses
@curry33 (67)
• China
27 Apr 10
We all know it is just a story,but we get stuck with it.Love is a terrible thing for me,even though I have not got married at this time.
2 people like this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
Hmmm.. Why is love a terrible thing for you? Isn't love supposed to give you a warm feeling of happiness?
1 person likes this
@sunnycool (12737)
• India
27 Apr 10
That was one of the best posts i have read in here---it looked like an copied one though but the meaning which lies inbetween is sure an eye opener for those who neglect their partners and for those who betray others.great day.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
I don't deny that I just copied it. A friend shared it to me and I feel like I need to share this too. As what you have said, it's an eye opener for those who have neglected their marriage and partners, for those people who doesn't understand the essence of love, commitment and marriage. This story serves as reminder for those who plan to get married so they won't end up like this. Thanks for reading though.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
It does not look like it happened in real life. I'm sorry but I would have enjoyed it if its been confirmed that it did happen. Great story though. Drama at its best
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
It doesn't need to be a true story for you to enjoy it. What you need to understand is the thoughts and lessons that supposed to be learned here. You're still young and maybe doesn't understand the real meaning of commitment, relationship and the essence of marriage.
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
27 Apr 10
Sweetie, This is what i call love from the bottom of one's heart and deep in your soul. Thank you. I hope all the mylotters will read this. TATA.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
Yes, Love but a love that is not enough because they let this happen to their marriage. Though the guy realized his short comings and fault but it's too late for him to correct his wrong decision. A wife's loved to his husband but choose not to fight for it, without her knowing that the problem could still be fix.
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
This is unconditional love. Thanks for this and have a good day.
1 person likes this
@laniekins (4585)
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
I almost cry, I am not that cheesy when it comes to love but this story will ring any bell and will make those deeply inlove cry. This is one good eye opener to those undergo divorce and break up. I hope this will help all of us on how we look on relationship.
• Philippines
29 Apr 10
Good thing there's no divorce here in the Philippines. However, they could still come out of the window easily. For those who have money they could apply for an annulment, it is just so sad that they have forgotten their promises to each other during their vows. Just hope that for those who have read this will be enlightened in some ways and would give time to take care of their marriage.
@laniekins (4585)
• Philippines
30 Apr 10
They say divorce is better than annulment, I don't know if this is true. Sometimes couples thought that they really love each other so much that they can survive their relationship with love alone. There are times that people simply fall out of love no matter what the reason. Its just so sad that they have to end this way, they should have give each other second chance
@hexeduser22 (5854)
• Philippines
29 Apr 10
This is definitely good no doubt about that. I hope there are more people who could and would actually read this because it gives so much inspiration and lessons in life that we need to heed. Thank you for sharing this one
• Philippines
29 Apr 10
I hope that this story would serve not just an inspiration but also a lesson. Hope that couples out there could nourish their relationship as husband and wife. Hope they could maintain the sparkle of their love and would grow old together. I wish all couples happiness.
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
Honestly, I have read this story. Someone post it on my facebook. But I took time to read it again cause I already forgot some details of the story. It,s very dramatic. Wish it had a happy ending. But the lesson of the story would not be emphasize if the ending was different. Sometimes we taught that we do not love a person anymore. Too late to realize that it's not the relationship that is not working. It is us that don't work for the relationship. We do not value what we have cause we do not see the small details which is the more important.
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
There are happy endings but only a few and with the story the author would want us to realize a lot of things, it depends on how you understand it. For those who are planning to get married it serves as a reminder to them, that marriage is not a fantasy always but will also come to a point that you'll face hardships that sometimes ruin the relationship. The important thing is that, no matter how bumpy or hard the problem is, couples should hold on and work for their relationship to last.
@brina27 (17)
• United States
27 Apr 10
This is something every man should read,that has ever cheated on there girlfriend,soon to be wife,or wife. Its a real eye opener,and so many times very true in how ending's happen like this. Thanks so much for sharing.
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
Actually, this story is not just for husbands but for wives as well. For those who are planning to get married and for those marriage who are experiencing some trials. I just hope that for those who have read the story would give time to their wife or husband and have learned the lessons that the story would want us to understand.
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
Hello Mayshella, I have actually read this before but still wanted to read it over & over again..It is so...so...touching...I am nearly teary eyed before I finish it...Thanks for posting it here...no matter how long you find time to post this in here ...Love is indeed great...! It will find it's own way to what is destined for..have great day my dear!
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
yeah, and I just hope that the love story of others won't end like this. Hope they could fix the problem before it's too late. It's a sad story and will serves as an eye opener to all of us.
• India
30 Apr 10
It is really very good story and very pleasing one which has a deep meaning in it ...
@thomad13 (212)
• United States
28 Apr 10
This is a very touching story, true or not. I have been married for five years come June. WE have always had a good relationship and commumicate well. My husband finished his time in the Navy a little over a year ago. Things were stressful beacuse of that loss of income and to top it off I found out i was pregnant with our third child a month after he was dicharged. I was upset because I was on birth control and this happen. Through all of the stress and worry we've stayed strong and together as one. Finding love is wonderful but most people don't want to do the work after so long to keep it going. Everyone has there own issues and flaws no matter if you leave your wife for a mistress, eventually you will see her flaws too. You just have to honestly want to be with this person to be able to work past their issues. Love is a powerful thing and with a 50% divorce rate its getting hard to keep that in ones life.
@junmae (1592)
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
I was so touched by this story, I almost cried. That is the sad truth on the relationships, not all the time you are happy with your partner. Sometimes it comes to the point that one of you fell out of love and wants to go out in the relationship. I dont want to get married someday because i am afraid that this things might happen to me. The person who will be the most affected is the son and daughter, they are the one who will suffer because of the broken marriage of there parents.
@eidoj31 (23)
• United States
28 Apr 10
I read your post and I think to myself, there but for the grace of god go I. I have been married for 22 years. My husband has a serious heart condition and has had several strokes. Throughout the years I have always been true to him and he to me. Even so, we have lost intimacy in our relationship. Sometimes I think that you can't see the forest for the trees. Your post bought that into sharper focus. thanks for reminding me what was right in front of me.
@cher913 (25893)
• Canada
27 Apr 10
what a great story! i have to say that hubby and i do have a great marriage. of course it has been a bit rocky at times, no marriage that lasts as long as ours doesnt have its rocky times but we do really love each other and we have been married for 22 years.
@mjanakha (479)
• United Arab Emirates
27 Apr 10
Hey I dont know how to respond. But you brought tears in my eyes. Your wife musnt have departed you, because you really started loving her and she missed it.
@cbjones (1157)
• United States
27 Apr 10
Always nice to get some useful advice that may(or in this case, mostly likely will) come in handy in the future. I figure that anyone willing to deal with my antics 24/7 deserves for me to pay attention to the details of our union, so we can make it work long term. I sometimes find it difficult to deal me. Not sure if it's possible for ones mental/spiritual being to divorce ones physical self(unless the scientific community is withholding useful information.)
@missa405 (290)
• Canada
27 Apr 10
Thanks for sharing this, it really helps to put our lives back into perspective. A great reminder of what is really important in our lives.