Why Do Children Always Want To Aggreviate Each Other??

United States
April 28, 2010 4:34pm CST
I'm sitting here trying to do some reading and responding here on MyLot but all my 3 year old wants to do is aggreviate his 9 year old sister who is trying to do her homework. I've been home with him all day and he has been good all day but as soon as she gets home from school, he starts being BAD and aggreviating her. What do you think makes children do this?
7 people like this
23 responses
@katsmeow1213 (29043)
• United States
28 Apr 10
Try living in a house with 5 of them who do nothing but aggravate each other!! I don't think it ever ends. My brother was 16 years older than me and he loved to aggravate me!
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (50398)
• United States
28 Apr 10
My dad was the 15th of 16 children. How his mom and dad didn't divorce or enter an insane asylum I'll never know.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Apr 10
@ AmbiePam!
• Canada
28 Apr 10
They do this for attention and becuse they think they can get away with it. also they have not been educated enough to understand that it is not funny or etertaining.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Apr 10
You are probably right. I know we tend to aggreviate them when we are playing with them, so maybe they see it as they are trying to play.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
28 Apr 10
Hey singlemommy~ I think that is just his way of getting some attention from her! I think that most younger kids who are home all day long without their siblings miss them and want to be like them going off to school so that when they do get home they overcompensate by being annoying just for attention sake! My brother was three years younger than me and would try anyway he could to bother me and make me angry! And most of the time it worked!lol I think the little guy just wants his big sister to pay attention to him and play with him! I think it's perfectly normal!
1 person likes this
• Abernathy, Texas
28 Apr 10
I totally agree (as you can see from my response above you). My neighbor Sammie, nine, comes over all the time! Most of the time to play but sometimes she just wants to veg out and watch tv or play on the computer - and she is like a zombie when she does. Robbie, three, does everything cute thing in his arsenol to get her attention then resorts to poking her and stuff.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11257)
• United States
29 Apr 10
I also agree with this. The younger sibling adores the older sibling and wants plenty of attention from that sibling. I have 4 boys and the older three are like stair steps. They always seemed to have hero worship going on from youngest to oldest. Your 3 year old just wants some attention from big sis.
• United States
29 Apr 10
Yes, you are probably right. I know he adores her and since she lives primarily with her Father, I know he always wants to enjoy every minute he gets with her, just as I do.
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 10
hi singlemommy I think the mom who comes up with why little brothers or sisters always aggravate their older brothers or sisters should be given the Noble peace prize at least. I sure do not know, but remember my younger sister badgering me to tears so many times when I wanted to do something with my best friend. I do think its attention they want from the older child. but am not at all sure.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Apr 10
Yes, I know I always wanted attention from my older siblings too. So, it could have something to do with that as well.
• China
29 Apr 10
It is also true of China. I do believe it is human nature that wants attention and care.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Apr 10
All day he was alone with you so he did not have any competition for your attention. So now he is just making sure all the attention is on him. Pretty typical behaviour among siblings.
1 person likes this
• Abernathy, Texas
28 Apr 10
I think its attention too - although I think he likely loves his moms but adores his sister too - and if he only sees his mom all day maybe he wants someone different and wants his sister to pay attention to him. Most older kids are too self absorbed to pay att'n to younger siblings.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (50398)
• United States
28 Apr 10
Ah, I have such fond memories of aggravating my sister. And I'm sure she has fond memories of aggravating me. However, I think my mom has many memories of wanting to smack us because more than each other, we aggravated her. I don't have children, but if I do, I'm sure I'll get paid back in kind.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Apr 10
I think you are right, it does aggreviate the parent more than it does the children. My stress/annoyance level is sky high right now. LOL For your sake, I hope if/when you have children that you won't get punished too bad. LOL
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
29 Apr 10
I don't know, but I have a 17 year old that does the same thing. Just pesters everyone. It does not seem to get any better.
1 person likes this
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
29 Apr 10
am a psychology graduate and i think this has a lot to do with human's instinct to survive. survival of the fittest. but in their little way it is basically competing for attention. parents' attention, that instinctly triggers this annoying a sibling. i know. am the eldest of 5 .
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
29 Apr 10
He misses his sister and just wants some attention from her would be my guess. I bet if she rather than got aggrevated, took a few minutes and played with him and devoted to him and then explained to him that she had work to do that he might be a little better. If that doesn't work then maybe she could go to her room and do her homework.
1 person likes this
@basqui (3890)
• Philippines
29 Apr 10
I don't have kids but our neighbor have two cute little girls and they casually bug each other. But the smaller one usually wins when they have a small fight. lol! the elder one will be the first to cry out. Then their mother would start whipping them both and then they would later reconcile and play together again until one cries out again. lol! I guess they think they are only playing around until one gets hurt.
1 person likes this
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
28 Apr 10
I only have one - so I'm the one bugged. I would guess if he's three, he bugs her to try to get her attention. He likely adores her and gets mommy's att'n all day and wants hers. Our nine year old neighbor comes over all the time and I catch her doing things to make him cry like putting things out of his reach. Yet she's also affectionate and fun - runs around with him and colors with him. Gives me a break - my husband works nights!
@celticeagle (121018)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Apr 10
Siblings always want to play a trick or aggrivate their brothers and/or sisters. When you live in short proximity of one another and on a day in and day out sort of situation it is very hard not to want to show the others that they are smarter and that they should get the attention and all of that.
@jlamela (4909)
• Philippines
30 Apr 10
I think it is a normal scenario in the family, for children it is normal to fight because they feel it just like playing and having fun together. I, myself when I was still in grade school, we used to fight with my sister like cats and dogs because we sometimes compete with toys, dress, food among others, then we often disagree and ended up arguing. But when we grow up we rarely involved in squabbles and always talked things smoothly. Children sometimes just caught parents' attention through creating non-sense fuzz then just a little bit naughty. But time will come they will overcome those habits and will grow up as responsible adults.
• United States
29 Apr 10
Well you have to remember that us adults used to be children back then. Yes at times we adults tend to forget or won't admit that we did things that aggravated our parents, did things that got us in trouble or what not. Children in their early years of course you know DIE for attention. They are in their own fantasy world of make believe, love to play, some do this for fun, to find ways to get away with things and such. That being said, as a parent it does take a person to discipline, train or even rebuke children for their misbehavior. How so? By them seeing the example from the adult. If people train animals such as dogs, cats and horses well even children can be disciplined and even rewarded for their good behavior. So I encourage you to find ways to encourage your children, maybe spend time with them and don't worry about Mylot so much at the moment.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
29 Apr 10
Lol Singlemommy I don't know what makes them do that but my Daughter used to be like that to As soon as her Brother came in she would aggravate him but I have to say he used to put her in her Place, the only thing was..... when he did I had to deal with the Tantrums lol
@savypat (20246)
• United States
29 Apr 10
I think there are as many reasons as there are kids. Mine fought all the time and even now as adults will get into it for no reason. Kids are very selfish, that's part of natures way of protecting them, some of them out grow this when they are young but others just can't seem to shake it.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
29 Apr 10
Hi, singlemommy. I don't really know. I have the same problem that you have. My four year old daughter likes to bother her brother when he is doing homework too. It is so aggravating. Yesterday, she was just constantly getting on her brother's nerves. I kept on telling her to stop over and over again, and she just would not. She refused to leave her brother alone so that me and him could finish up his homework. I guess my daughter does this, because, he has been gone from the house. And she is glad to see him now that he is at home. It gets on my nerves because when she starts this, it is like she just enjoys bothering him. This distracts him from wanting to get his homework done. I thought that I was about the only mom that went through this. Both of my daughters stay at home with me while their brother is in school for six hours. And when he gets here, there goes my day... They all act up, they make noise and start playing and then fighting. I am like "Can, I please get a break in all of this racket?" I think that kids do this because they want more attention. They may feel like they are not being noticed and that is why they bother one another so much. This is an everyday thing for me.
@derek_a (10902)
29 Apr 10
From a very young age, I believe that children are encouraged to compete with each other. Compete for better exams results, then later for a better place in university and then for a better job when they become adults. At a very early age, this competing more than often takes the form of arguing and squabbling. It is a shame that we all have to either become so overly ambitious, or feel defeated. But this is what keeps the economy of all the countries in the world going. _Derek
@nonersays (2759)
• United States
29 Apr 10
It sounds like maybe he just wants some attention from his older sister. He's not concerned with her homework, just knows that HE wants her attention and pestering her can be an easy way to get attention.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
29 Apr 10
I don't think children mean to aggravate each other. Circumstances and situations bring these feelings about. Kids know what buttons to push to get their way. Sometimes other children fall into the path and this leads to aggravation.