A vicious cycle.....Around and around in circles....Where to go? What to do?

Canada
May 2, 2010 8:43am CST
It's been awhile since I've started a discussion no I have not disappeared again lol I've had alot going on in my life.... My Ex Mother N Law just amazes me and I will explain the story to how I drew my conclusion.... From my last discussion I made about her I finally told her look if you don't want to be consistant then don't come at all in lack of better words....All she was doing was giving me excuse after excuse and making a mountain out of a mole hill....She was being so dramatic it wasn't funny....I will admit I'm not the greatest house keeper in the world and when I've had more of a lack of sleep episodes or am in a slump and in a state of depression or my kids are just not caring and won't help I get to a point of whatever I clean and it gets messed right away what is the point? I know that a cleaner house makes me feel better so I really do try....I know that my ex mother n law caught me on those bad days where my house was not tip top shape....I had a knock at my door here the other day and of course the person caught me on a bad day known and behold who do I find but a Social Worker from child services....I was so angry hurt and frustrated and upset I could hardly speak I was like what the heck why this again? Who called blah blah blah and of course they are so silent about that sort of thing and won't release that information....I mentioned my Ex Mother N Laws name and well the look on the workers face said it all....Sometimes you can just tell by a look on someones face....She referred me to SS for a unclean house? I was so distraught I didn't even know what was happening....But I complied with the order and he came out and took a look and said he would close the file....But before he left he honsestly had the nerve to pry and try and get me to agree to sign over a release of information of me down at mental health where I go for councling and for my depression...I'm like ummm no why the heck would I agree to give personal vital information about myself knowing you guys can pry when you want if I need them I won't want to go back so NO....He says you don't have much trust for our organization do you I'm like umm lets see this is the 4th time I've been called on since my son was younger for STUPID things....I've been through alot in almost the past 3 years ya think not....No I don't trust you guys and I don't think I ever will... A friend of mine told me that they are only allowed to say they can't reveal the source they can't say....They are not supposed to say they cannot confirm or deny and that guy said those words with my Ex Mother N laws name.....I can't believe she would stoop to such a LOW level....If she would of been willing to be an adult and work with me I may have complied to it but not after that nice little visit that I had recieved....Also my Dad phoned her as he was protecting me and of course she denied it....Maybe she realized that without being that way she has no leverage if she takes it to court? I just hope she petitions me and we can get this done and delt with and I can get her and her son the heck out of our lives.
4 people like this
6 responses
@AmbiePam (50380)
• United States
2 May 10
Wow. That women sounds evil.
3 people like this
• Canada
2 May 10
IF in fact her ex Mother In Law is the one that phoned then yes I would agree that she stooped pretty low and is pretty darn close to evil. I have been friends with both Blue and her ex mother in law for quite a few years and I have seen their relationship slowly go downhill because of things Blue's ex husband has said to his mother about Blue behind her back. It's a VERY messy situation indeed!
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (50380)
• United States
2 May 10
I've heard mother-in-laws can be hard to deal with. But an ex mother-in-law must be the very devil.
2 people like this
• Canada
2 May 10
I hardly ever see or have to deal with my in laws (hubby's family) but I really am starting to think that way about my sister in law (my brother's new wife) they haven't even been married a year yet and she has managed to make me feel lower then low about myself and our financial status because we aren't "well off" like she and my brother are, or like my parents are. She has basically told me that because I have chosen to be a stay at home mother I am not a hard worker and because we aren't as well off as they are or my parents are that I am the failure and black sheep of the family. I feel my sister in law is the devil! Well ... that may be a bit of a stretch but she definitely is a b!#@h!
2 people like this
• Canada
2 May 10
She. sounds absolutely crazy. If someone did that to me, I would take out a restraining order, or take se other legal action to keep the offender out of the lives of me and my children.
3 people like this
• Canada
6 May 10
I hear you there that is exactly the point that I'm at right now I talked further with my dad and he told me exactly what he said and she said all he said that is what are you trying to get the kids taken away or what??? And with a short pause she said she didn't do it didn't what it could of ment anything.....Thanks for your response....
@Hatley (164451)
• Garden Grove, California
2 May 10
oh myg blueangel Iread your discussion and thought bac k to the times when I was ill and my little son did the best he could to keep things clean, and my husband was away at work. I am just thinking I bet those social wor ker types if someone called them on me would have written me up but I had just come out of the hospital and was not quite healthy yet. I did not receive any social workers but I can see how when one has other problems your house can get messy and a snooty social worker is trained to diss anything that is out of place. I think you really do need to get ma in law and the ex out of your life. you will feel better and consequently keeping house will be easier too.She sounds like a very forbidding type of woman.She must be trying to get back at you for calling it quits with her son, She should grow up and get the heck on with her own life instead.
• Canada
6 May 10
Her and her son are exactly alike he abandone us and had nothing to do with us so I divorced him......She is different that is for sure and I'm extremly upset about it but I will get over it lol Happy Mylotting hugzzzz....
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164451)
• Garden Grove, California
6 May 10
Hi again BlueAngelrs hope you can get away from her now good luck and God bless heres three hugs for you
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 May 10
hugzzzz back to you as well Hatey and I sure hope she is gone for good now lol....
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
3 May 10
Sweetie I think you might need to involve help for this to get her of your Back because it looks like you will never get peace from her You need Help to get her away from you Look into it because she is not going to give you peace at the sounds of things Hugs
2 people like this
• Canada
6 May 10
hugzzz Sweetie I think I've done pretty much all I can do already I've contacted my lawyer I have to wait til she petitions me and I've contacted the police for if she just shows up at my house.....I'm hoping she stops now though or just petitions me so we can get this over and done with...
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 May 10
That is just crappy. She's the childrens' grandmother though, so how is she ever going to be totally out of your life? I hope she stops meddling though.
1 person likes this
• Canada
6 May 10
It is crappy that is for sure actually she can be competly out of our lives I have a no order for access in place against her son and I'm in my legal right....I've tried to work with her but she rather be dramatic about it and she will never stop being a meddler and my son has expressed to me he wishes not to see her and I don't trust her at all with my kids she has given me plenty of reasons not to hugzzz to you and thanks for your response...
• Canada
2 May 10
Hi Blue! Sorry to hear that this happened to you especially at the hands of your ex Mother In Law if she's the one who phoned. That was a pretty low thing to do and I honestly don't blame you for not trusting in Social Services. Don't get me wrong in a lot of cases they do do what's best for the child, and have helped a lot of families, but when they show up for stupid stuff like an un-clean house well that's just wasting tax payers money! So your house got a bit messy ... big deal! If my kids didn't care and messed what I cleaned and I wasn't such a neat freak I'd probably give up too!
• Canada
6 May 10
I will take some of your neat freak plzz lol??? I like a clean house to but it just seems that my depression and lack of sleep get the better of me sometimes I do agree with you that SS has helped in many situations before helping the families but after talking with my Dad I'm pretty sure my ex mother n law is the one that called and it sounds like she is getting the cold shoulder from my ex husband again as well from what I keep hearing lol.....Hugzzzz and thanks for your response....
1 person likes this