No More Second Chances

Philippines
May 2, 2010 10:21pm CST
I just read this story on someone else's blog and thought I might share this to all of you. Reactions and opinions are highly welcomed. I went home one day and found my wife in the living room. I went over and asked if we could talk. I told her that I want a divorce. She cried, she got mad asking why and what happened. I told her that I just can't do it anymore. We have grown apart and there was nothing in common we had except for our son. I looked at the woman who spent the last 10 years of her life with me and I felt sure that I really wanted a divorce. I have found happiness in someone else, Drew. After an eventful day with Drew I was tired and left my wife in the living room and went to bed. Even if we shared a bed together, I felt we have become strangers. The more I felt this way the more I wanted a divorce. I woke up early in the morning and found out that my wife has not been in bed the whole night. I showered and went to the kitchen to get myself a cup of coffee. There my wife sat on the kitchen table she just finished drafting the condition of the divorce. She handed the paper to me for me to read. The condition states that we were not going to divorce in one month as our son has an exam and that we should not tell our son about the divorce just yet. I agreed to it because I do care for our son. Also that I was to carry her over from our bedroom door to the front door every morning for one month just like I did when we first got married. I thought this was crazy but I agreed anyway. I was to help carry the trash and spend time with our son for a month and to that I also agreed. I met with Drew that day and told her the condition of the divorce and she got mad. Especially the part where I have to carry my wife everyday for a month. But I told her that was the condition that I must do to get the divorce. I can't wait to get divorced I love Drew and I think I have finally found the love of my life. So, the next day I carried my wife from our bedroom door to the front door and my son was there to see it. He said "daddy you love mommy so much", to me that was painful to hear. As I carried her for a few weeks I noticed she was getting lighter and as she placed her head over my chest I begin to get comfortable. As the month nearly ended I carried her again and as I carried her she was very light and as she placed her head on my chest I felt that I still love her. Intimacy was missing in our marriage life. It wasn't that I no longer cared for her or no longer loved her it was just that intimacy in our marriage was missing. I began to think about the woman who gave away 10 years of her life for me. The one who patiently kept the house clean, took care of me and my son without complain. As I put her down on the front door and as my son cheered on. I knew what I had to do. So, I went over to Drew's apartment and told her that I would not get a divorce. She went crazy and slapped me and pushed me out of the door but it did not matter. On my way back home I stopped by a flower shop and asked the lady to get me a bouquet of red roses my wife's favorite. I rushed home ready to tell my wife I would not get a divorce and that we would work it out. I looked all over the house but my wife was not there finally I tried our bedroom the only place I did not look and there I saw my wife on the bed.... lifeless. I shook her but she was gone.... to those who are seeking divorce .... think again.
4 people like this
15 responses
• Philippines
3 May 10
The story got into my senses; I hate men who are after being served for several years just forget the sacrifices of their wives as easy as abc. Well here maybe the wife had a cancer or a terminal disease and not wanting to let her husband knew about her illness thinking that it might crushed him, she didn't divulge it. She was using a very excellent strategy, a way wherein a husband could not forget and a strong one causing a guilt on the husband. I'm married woman and it's true that sometimes we have to show our love ones with intimacy and not be afraid to express our feelings so the relationship will be as strong as we want it to be. Sometimes the temptations abounds because there are also women who are challenged if they come across with a married men.
• Philippines
3 May 10
Hi Merced, Thanks for dropping by. What can I say... there are broken women out there seeking for some loving and the married man seem to do it better than the bachelors. With the experience that a married man has it is easier for them to tickle a woman's fancy. It is never right but it happens even to someone who never thought she would get caught in such kind of mess. For men I never understood it, is it just their natural hunter instinct or just pure lust? Never know for sure lols...but they know better than going after someone who is married. Why did God make the 10 commandments? Remember thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife/goods? Or let's put it simply though shall not lust after another woman when you are married. Good guess God made this rule to protect us women and protect the sanctity of marriage. Sadly, seems like people nowadays never take this to heart thus the divorce and the cheating! Candy
@Genericbe (1379)
• Philippines
3 May 10
hi candy, Thanks for sharing this blog with us here at mylot. It was such a good moral story for those people who rather thought of their own feelings and contentment rather than the feelings for other people who showed love and affection. Who patiently wait for their love and asking to be loved for the sake of their family. It was indeed a tragic story, when the the turning point of the husband to go back to his wife with his family is too late already. For, it served as a moral lesson that the chances in any one's life can be turning to be good outcome or bad one that will give more pain in the family or people concerned for that matter. Sometimes, when there are turning points in a relationship, and when the person had seen the true light had turned into a misery because of no more chances given or it was too late, thereby, it cannot bring back the normal life a person had dreamed off. A no more chance to correct every mistakes that was done, a no more chance to prove that after being forgiven for that mistakes, the person to be relayed for that matter was already gone and cannot anymore hear, give forgiveness and express whatever feelings prompted for that time. This is also a lesson for a couple in a relationship, who have shared so many years with the family. That, for whatever shortcoming it has, it is better to resolve the matter together and make the relationship grow, either there are mistakes or unwanted situations that can affect the family. That, sometimes, when we think of ourselves only, we tend to be selfish without knowing that there is much pain brought about by our actions. That, in every family, the most affected on that part is the child and the person to be left with desperation. That, for others, it is easy to leave someone for own self happiness without even realizing that, it is much painful or harder for the other person who has been left in that situation or crucial times. If realizations will come, it may be too late to apologize and be given second chances to correct everything. May this sharing, do inspire other people and realize the good and bad effects of whatever decision they will make, and inspire other people to be sensitive enough for their loved one's feelings.. Happy mylotting.
@charylady (424)
• Philippines
3 May 10
it's really sad how married couples can drift apart for whatever reason. in this case there seemed to have been no communication at all. the wife must have felt terribly alone; imagine keeping her illness (i'm assuming she was terminally ill) to herself. the husband had no idea? was he too busy with work? did he seek someone else deliberately? what drove him to it? whatever the reason, it's too late for self recriminations. i guess that's life, you know - _hit happens :(
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1840)
• Philippines
3 May 10
Oh this is so sad. Did it really happen? Now you made me cry. I am so affected by this story because I've been feeling bad about my current relationship. We're not married yet, but we've already been together for almost 6 years. Well, actually, that's part of the reason why I feel so bad. I don't know when we'll get married, and now I'm not even sure anymore that we'll ever get married. And lately he's been kind of distant. He tells me that he loves me, but I just have a weird feeling. We're having financial problems, and I think that's why he seems so distant most of the time, but even though I understand him it still hurts because the way I see it, we should be in this together. Even though we're not married yet, I've already vowed to myself that I'll be with him for better or for worse. But he tends to keep things to himself. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy. I'm really so proud of him. But I just wish that he'll see me as someone whom he can share anything with, even the most serious problems he has.
• Philippines
3 May 10
My dearest Angela, I understand where you're coming from and I feel your pain. I know how it is to love someone but then go through what you are going through right now. I never understood it then but I understood it now why God created marriage and why living in or cohabitation is really not okay. Please don't get me wrong I am not trying to preach to you but take this from someone who has gone through the same thing as you do. Marriage was instituted by God to protect the woman. Man is legally binded as well as spiritually binded with the woman and for him to fulfill his obligations and responsibilities as the head of the household. Never really understood it till I had gone through what you are now going through. A guy with a noble intention would never ever ask you to just live off with him but he will be decent enough to ask for your hand. If he ever really wanted to marry you 6 years is way too long to wait to get married, don't ya think? He maybe a great guy but he may not be the right guy for you. That's two different things. I know it hurts to hear this but better someone tell you straight than give you false hope or sugar coat things. In time you will heal. I suggest you talk things out with him. Don't allow him to sweet talk you. I know in your heart of hearts you will know if he is the right one or not. Ask God to show you that, God has your happiness and future in mind, if this is not the right person don't hang on for somewhere out there is the man who he has in mind for you. Why waste time with rocks when the diamond is just nearby? Love will come at the right place and at the right time with the right person. Think about that. Candy
1 person likes this
@angelajoy (1840)
• Philippines
3 May 10
Thanks for your wonderful advice candy, but I'm afraid you misunderstood me. I didn't think people would get me wrong when I wrote my reply to your discussion, but after reading your reply I reread my post and I realized that it does sound misleading. I'd just like to clarify that my boyfriend and I are not living together. When I said that we've been together for almost 6 years I only meant he's been my boyfriend for almost 6 years. But I still appreciate your advice. I'll keep in mind what you said. Thanks a lot.
@chiyosan (29390)
• Philippines
4 May 10
thank you for sharing. you know, i have read this story already in an email. I think the ending was different though because the woman did not have any sickness and did not die.
@sid556 (31019)
• United States
3 May 10
hi candyfairie, I hung on every word looking for and expecting a happy ending to all this. What a horribly sad story. don't know what else to say. This is just a really sad story.
• Philippines
3 May 10
Dear Sid, I'm sorry if this story made you sad. I was sad too but I decided to share this to everyone with hopes that they would work on their marriage and keep the vow they made before God and men. According to the blog author she was going through her facebook stuff when she read this, it was posted by her friend, apparently the guy and she decided to repost this. I know it's sad but I hope this will be an eye opener for everyone. Candy
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
4 May 10
I have read this before and think it is very touching. I don't quite remember the ending being that way, but I am sure there's probably a few different variations. This story speaks volumes and does not just ring true for the men or women who want a divorce but also for the mothers and husband's who care so deeply and don't want a divorce. To me it says to those who don't want the divorce "Never give up. Always fight" To those who do want the divorce it says "Don't take for granted what you already have."
@Shellyann36 (7097)
• United States
3 May 10
Such a sad story. I do so wonder if it is really true or just an act of fiction?
• Philippines
3 May 10
Yeah. This is truly sad. Read this before. Someone emailed this story to me and it really made me realize a lot of things. Made me realize how much I appreciate having my wife around. I stop thinking about the things I wanted from her, like taking care of me or doing things for me -- It made me appreciate my wife as she is. Just her without those favors or acts of love or care.
• Philippines
3 May 10
Oh my god! I thought it is going to be a happy ending!!! Lifeless? What she killed herself? That is very painful... I though that is her (wife) way of getting /winning her husband back... I have to agree, the intimacy is what missing in every old relationship... we tend to ignore those little and big things that are partner is doing for us... We failed to appreciate them because they are just there beside us... We got bored and everything started to be just routine...
@tomitomi (5441)
• Singapore
3 May 10
...touching!
@cbjones (1157)
• United States
3 May 10
Depressing story. I wish there was never a time in anyone's life where they felt that a marriage was a mistake(or at the very least, the relationship wasn't as good as they thought it could be.) such a union is very special. We sometimes fail to cherish it.
• Philippines
3 May 10
I never cried over movie stories/soap operas, but this story really touched my heart and made me cry. It's sad, that the moment he realized his wife's worth, she was already gone. To those who quickly decides to leave their spouses for another one for whatever reasons, please think things over and over again. Please count all those things you've been through since you started sharing lives together until it was growing apart between you as couple. There might only some things that is missing or lacking for both of you, like from this story, they just lacked the intimacy which is one of the big factors to keep the spirit of love and romance alive. And one best thing to do I think, is to keep communication constant, reaffirmation from time to time, and never focused only on picky obligations, loosen up once in a while and play around with your partners/spouses. There are important keys to keep each other. Please let's not wait to loose our love ones before we tell them we love them.
@syankee525 (6298)
• United States
3 May 10
that is so sad..
@vsmith (119)
• United States
3 May 10
awww thats sad