on marriage" which do you prefer?

@evepin (723)
Philippines
May 8, 2010 2:41am CST
both are unpleasant situations, but if you were to choose, which will you prefer or accept? 1) a man who is a family man and passionate husband, who shows his wife he loves her, praises her, gives her everything, etc. BUT he is unfaithful OR 2) a faithful husband but is not passionate towards her wife, that the wife thinks the he loves her less and only cares for their kids, someone who doesnt show his wife she matters and is not a priority. tough eh? your thoughts pls!
9 responses
• Philippines
8 May 10
Honestly, i don't want to choose coz none of the husbands are worth loving by their wives. BUT if i really have to choose, id choose number one lol. if he's unfaithful, i'll just use him to my advantage like asking money for shopping, stuff for kids, food, bills and things like that. as long as he supports by giving us money then it's alright. I'll just put ALL my love for the kids. They're the ones who are worth living and loving. I can live without a man but without my kids? I don't think so.
• Philippines
8 May 10
that would be quite admirable on your part chocolatelle..to just let your philandering husband have his ways, even though you know that he is unfaithful to you..that would be a difficult feat for me to do..(lol)..i admire your courage and bravado, to say the least..that you will prioritize your kids over feeling sorry for yourself or fighting with your husband because he is unfaithful..you choose to shower all your love to your kids...and that's very admirable..good for you..
• Philippines
9 May 10
Both situations are quite tough and not easily to choose between the scenarios but IN my case if I have to choose I guess I will go for option 2. I may not feel that he loves me but knowing that I am secure with how he feels and knowing that I don't have to compete with anyone on how he feels for me. Their are really people who are not really showy with how they feel and they are not that vocal with how they feel. As long as he loves my children I will be fine with it. Hehehehehe.. Though at times I won't deny that I may feel bad about it.
• Indonesia
8 May 10
Everyone of us will found soulmate and hope can live together. I think, we have accept what our couple behavior in all conditions.
• United States
8 May 10
None of the above would be my answer. That's why they're things called compatibility and divorce. Knowone's perfect, but when it comes to weighing out the pro's and the con's, only the person who's actually walking in those shoes can decide if they're willing to settle. Unfaithfulness, falls into the catagory of abuse, in my book. There is absolutely no way possible to be faithful to someone, without mentally abusing them. Think about it, the lying and reverse psych games, just to name a few, are indeed emotional abuse.
• United States
8 May 10
You are right! Neither one is acceptable. I probably would have chose #2. Cheaters are not allowed in my category! Being an unfaithful husband will never change. A faithful husband can always work on his emotional feelings towards his wife.
@charylady (424)
• Philippines
8 May 10
never an unfaithful husband! i can live with a man who is not passionate as long as he is a good provider and a good father.
@1anurag1 (3580)
• India
8 May 10
i think the faith in any relation can be the medicine food and the energy for all the relations. in my view if you talk about my choice. my preference will be for a wife who is understanding and donot try to dominate. she should be a genuine person.
• Philippines
8 May 10
None of the above. I prefer to have a husband who is a God-fearing man. If he is God-fearing he possess all the virtues or characteristic of being loving husband, family man, faithful to his wife, caring to children, and good provider. His family is his inspiration for work second to God.
• Philippines
8 May 10
that's quite tough to answer evepin..but if i must be analytical about this, i'd say, i prefer the #2..i, of course want my man to be passionate with me, to openly and lovingly show his love for me but if he is unfaithful, i know that, that would probably change..that all what he has shown me would probably would change since he has another woman already...whereas a husband who is not expressive, who is not passionate with me but who is faithful to me..well, that could change..i could teach him to be more passionate and expressive with me...and if he will not really change after much cajoling and initiation on my part, well, i will have to change myself for a change..change my attitude towards the behavior of my husband..accept the fact that he is just like that and reassure myself that despite his inadequacies ( if one can call that) he is faithful to me.. as they say, you can't have the best of both worlds all the time..you must choose that which will give us satisfaction and pleasure in the long run..