Are you willing to forgive even when the hurt is still there?

Friends - love
Philippines
May 8, 2010 6:46am CST
This was the question raised by a good friend of mine when I told her that I want to be set free of all the hurts I have. I got inspired with it because it served as a challenge to me. It's true that people might never changed anymore. They will be who they are as ease. But I must learn to forgive even if the hurt is still there and even if those who hurt you will continue to do so. That is how I could show my love for others as well as for myself. Because grudges are toxic.
2 people like this
14 responses
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
8 May 10
That's good to know that you are trying to let go of all the hurt. I think grudges are toxic indeed, it just destroys things further. It's best to find forgiveness in the heart, although the experiences cannot be forgotten.
@sunnycool (12737)
• India
8 May 10
Grudges are really freaky and bad bro-----'The Grudge' does show that
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 May 10
Yups! Thanks for that zed. Happy mylotting! Anyway, this mylotting word
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
10 May 10
That's right Sunny bro..grudges are really bad and ugly.. You're welcome, Saranggola. It's not an official word in myLot, but many members use it to signify a happy activity time in mylot, lol..hence the mylotting. Have a fun time.
@tomitomi (5441)
• Singapore
8 May 10
It has never been easy and never will. Learning to forgive may just take a lifetime to learn. Because it has taken me many years to do so. When it still hurts it is still hard to forgive. Is there anything to lose to forgive? I don't think there is any, at least for me. And I don't mean to offend anyone with this. I agree that grudges are toxic as you put it. By forgiving I hope I will forget. It makes moving on easy.
• Philippines
9 May 10
XD. I believe no one could really ever forget even if you would forgive unless you'll get amnesia. You will always remember how that person had hurt you but at least after the letting go of all the hurts stage, you could laugh at it thereafter.
@tomitomi (5441)
• Singapore
9 May 10
Yes I agree with you by letting go it makes moving on easier. Thanks!
• Philippines
9 May 10
Thank you also tomi
@sunnycool (12737)
• India
8 May 10
I do not have such a big heart girl---anyone who hurt me would be outta my life it depends on their deeds though if it is a simple one then i wouldnt mind forgiving else i would be the hard nut in this world.I tend to avoid them and do not wish to see their face again.great day.
• Philippines
9 May 10
wuuu. Scary. I'd be really scared to make you mad.
@sunnycool (12737)
• India
9 May 10
Why would you girl-----as you read my response
@kharlav (1673)
• Philippines
8 May 10
Its really difficult to forgive someone while the pain is still there. It is very challenging. But I know, for me, as a Christian, forgiving even if the pain is still there pleases God, so I choose to forgive. It's not easy, but with GOd I can, and I have. I already experienced forgiving a person who hurt me the most, who caused me so much depression even if he didn't ask forgiveness. But i know I could never do that without God. It was only the grace of GOd that allowed me to do such thing.
• Philippines
8 May 10
Yes. True enough. God is our only strength when no one believes us. It is only through him that I find comfort when everything is so against me and I feel happy and at peace with it.
@kharlav (1673)
• Philippines
10 May 10
That's good to hear how God helped in you in simple ways. God is just so amazing, in greater ways and even in the simplest way we can think of.
• Philippines
17 May 10
yeah for me forgiving is to forget... sometimes you have to forgive for you to move on from something that really bothers you or something that really hurts your feelings... but you can't just forgive someone just because you love that person or just for the sake of forgiving!... sometimes you have kick some butt!..punch some face! poke some eye! bite the ears! smash something to the head! sometimes you have to be brave! ..after that..... you have to ask for forgiveness.. haha.. so now they'll know how hard to forgive. :D
• Philippines
17 May 10
Whoa. I think I wanna know how first how to make you mad before I could try asking for your forgiveness. XD
• China
9 May 10
I always do forgive people even though they harmed me... To me it is too hard to hate someone or don't like someone. To me forgiving always takes about 1 week to 1 month time.
• Philippines
9 May 10
Hehe. Even if it takes like a month, at least you still forgive. Happy mylotting sebstian
9 May 10
Remember we are not perfect so like everyone else we make mistakes, more often doing it more than once. So let us all ask ourselves... who are we in the first place...are we perfect? So we are not able to forgive... so since we are all human and do make mistakes, we should be able to forgive. Just remember when you are ready to forgive, stop bringing it up again and again because the hurt inside you will never stop. I believe that if we really get hurt and betrayed by someone we love, we tend to numb ourselves and keep our feelings inside a box and its like putting an old box with memories on top of the shelf. So from time to time when we are vulnerable, then we tend to recall our hurt. Seems its just there inside us, lurking waiting for our memories to resurface. As you said grudges are toxic so best that we don't bear grudges, it may eventually poison our relationships with the ones we love.
• Philippines
9 May 10
Very well said marika. Have a nice day
• Philippines
9 May 10
Releasing of forgiveness doesn't only frees the person who hurt us but it also frees us from all the hurt and the negative energies that we go through while we keep on harboring grudges unto someone. God himself command us to forgive, for it is in forgiving that we are forgiven. That is even if the person will ask for it or not but what is important is that we forgive. It is a great leap in your part to forgive not everyone at time age and time would do so!!!
• Philippines
9 May 10
Yes we should not mind anymore if the person has already asked for forgiveness or not. What's more important is that you are freed from the darkness. Have a nice day kenchiprincess
• Philippines
9 May 10
Forgiving someone who causes you too much pain is hard. Lets admit that its not that easy. Saying that its alright is also hard. But i think we need to remember that the only way to let go of the pain and the hurt is to forgive, forget and moved on. You can never let go of the pain if you haven't forgive the person who causes it. We always ask and pray to forgive us our sins but we never forgive others. So, i think the best way to let go and free yourself from that hurt is to forgive.
• Philippines
9 May 10
Let's forgive one another. Don't mind the hurt anymore. It's not healthy to keep it.
@myzire72 (1157)
• Singapore
8 May 10
Yes, I will. No matter how hurtful it has been, it's really no use bearing grudges for something that cannot be undone. Moreover, it's really a heavy burden. We should just learn to put it down so that we can go further. Lastly, inability to forgive will more or less has some adverse psychological effects on us.
• Philippines
9 May 10
Hehe. It will be best for everyone to forgive. "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me" as the song goes. Happy mylotting myzire
• India
8 May 10
well no way.i mean i have got experience.i know one should forgive others but when you are still hurt then your mind would never be ready to forgive the other person.because at that time most of us think of taking revenge and we are not in a mindset to forgive.its human nature.
• Philippines
9 May 10
Hi antony! I understand your sentiments with regards to this issue. But why not trying to forgive because you love the person and not because this person hurt you? Just a thought to ponder. Have a great day ahead.
@umit_umit (1986)
• India
8 May 10
well its a very true some leaves indelible sores on our mind,but if the other really gives all for saying sorry,then i think no maliance should be kept in the heart or else the person who is hurted will have to suffer!!
• Philippines
8 May 10
Yeah. But I think forgiving is easier when the person who hurt you apologized rather than you yourself taking the initiative to forgive.
@umadper (947)
• India
8 May 10
hi,the real meaning of the word forgive is when you forgive others when you still in hurt/painful stage....it is not give real meaning if you forgive after long gap or forgot everything.........
• Philippines
8 May 10
Hehe. But some people needs to forget first before they could ever forgive. I'm not saying that that is a form of weakness but it's in their character. People must also learn to be more understanding
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
10 May 10
Forgive and never forget. I think that most of us have been in this kinds of situation. Just don't bother to think of the negative things that are happening. Instead be open for all possibility. The possibilities of learning and making it the way it used to be.