The girl I love doesn't talk to me anymore!!

@shubhamv (152)
India
May 11, 2010 4:25am CST
Hey Guys! So, to give you a better idea of the situation, I'm going to tell you what actually happened between my girlfriend and me!! I proposed my girlfriend on November 26, 2009 when I realised that she loves me as she told me herself! I was extremely happy when she said yes to my proposal. We spent alot of time together and trying to understand each other(that's because we never had any kind of interaction with each other before then!) and day by day we started liking each other even more! But even in our strong relationship misunderstandings was usual as we both were very possessive!! I started feeling ignored by her! She talked to me less than the other guy who studied with us in the class! Although I didn't feel that bad because she talked to my friend which is quite normal, But then the situation turned and she started liking her(at least that's what I think). I realised this as whenever I saw her, she was always there talking to him, even when she knew that I'm watching her! Many times we argued with each other on this topic! This increased the distances between us! Although we always apologized to each other after sometime cuz we didn't like being separated! But on 14 February, 2010(Valentine's Day) ,my heart broke!! I sent her text message in the morning that I wanna meet her in our coaching and said that I had a surprise! I went to the coaching as I knew that no one(I mean my teachers and friends) won't be there! I went there and waited for her from 7 in the morning till 10 in the morning(I asked her to come at 8 in the morning) but she didn't come! At 10 am my friend came(to whom she used to talk a lot) and saw me sleeping in the corner of the room with a big box that was gift wrapped! He woke me up and I asked him about my girlfriend(He knew about our relationship)! At that moment she entered! I was angry but still gave her the gift I brought and walked away from there! Since that day she never talked to me! Was I wrong? Did I commit any mistake? I don't know but no matter how much I apologize, she just won't talk to me! I'm dying every moment thinking about her! Plz, people help me out of the situation and tell me what I should do!! Thank You!!
1 person likes this
13 responses
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
11 May 10
Hi Shubhamv, It sounds to me as if she may have been at a point where she was maybe thinking of ending the relationship anyway and maybe that final incident was the last straw. I do know that excessive jealousy and arguments can kill a relationship pretty quickly. I know that you wanted her to meet you and you sent her a text. Did you ask her what happened or why she wasn't there? Could it be that she didn't get your text earlier? From what you say, it appears that you didn't even give her a chance to talk. You just gave her the gift and stormed off. If I was dating a guy that got jealous and picked arguments just because I talked to another guy I would not put up with it for long. It gets real tiring reassuring someone over and over that doesn't seem to be reassured. It gets old. And if he ever gave me a valentine gift and stormed away without allowing me to explain why I wasn't there at his demand when he didn't even take the time to call me and be sure that I got the message, I'd throw the gift in the trash and that'd be it for me. I think that you should learn from this experience so that it doesn't happen again.
@shubhamv (152)
• India
12 May 10
Yes, I asked my friend why she didn' come at the time I asked her to come! He said that she didn't wanted to come! She did got the text I sent her! And the reason I stormed off was because I was feeling sad and wanted to cry a bit! But, since I'm a boy I just can't do that in front of my friends you know, I just don't want them to see me like that! And we have resolved our problems many times and we never argued! Even though I was jealous, most oftenly I didn't tell her anything and kept it to myself because I was scared that it would create more misunderstandings!!
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
12 May 10
I didn't realize that you had talked to her. Anyway, I know it hurts. Breaking up always hurts. How long were the two of you together for?
@shubhamv (152)
• India
12 May 10
Fro November 26, 2009 to 14 February, 2010!!
@cmang83 (286)
• Malaysia
11 May 10
Hey Shubha, i am not sure your condition is same with my friend or not. My friend faced this situation before. His girlfriend suddenly didn't talk to him but talk to our another friend. This made my friend very sad and angry. He came to me every night to talk about this topic and ask me why and what should he do. He try to ask the girl the reason why she dont want to talk to him and all that but the girl just said nothing, nothing and nothing. I then suggested my friend dont to bother her and give himself and the girl some times to calm down. Guess what, the girl came back to my friend after a while. I don't dare to give you any suggestion or opinion. Just hope my friend's example can give you some idea. Good luck.
@shubhamv (152)
• India
11 May 10
I understand what you want to say but its been 4 months since she talked to me! Don't you think that's quite a long time!!
@cmang83 (286)
• Malaysia
11 May 10
Ern, honestly, 4 months is quite a long time. I don't meant want to hurt you but i think something really happen to her. Like other respondents said, her heart was changed. If i were you, i will have a discussion with the friend. I prefer everything in a very clear situation. I don't like guessing. It is very painful to guess what is going wrong and all that.
@shubhamv (152)
• India
11 May 10
I tried everything but it just won't work! Although I appreciate your help!!
• Philippines
12 May 10
Hey shubhamv, sorry to hear that. to be honest, i think that girl dont deserve your love and effort and time. better moved on and moved forward. I think she is not serious about your proposal or dont have any plans on marrying you. Better leave them both. If he is talking to your guy friend then there is a possibility that she likes him too. Stop apologizing, it wont help. it will only give him the impression that you are so inlove with her and that you cant live without her. Just forget her dude!
@shubhamv (152)
• India
12 May 10
Thnks! Bye the way I didn't ask her to marry me! It was just a proposal for becoming my girlfriend!!
• China
12 May 10
It's not yr fault! but, seen from yr description, it's nobody but u, the victim, is undergone the suffer! I regard, the urgent matter u need to do now is try to ascertain this problem! It's really yr girlfriend and yr friend's betray or a totally misunderstanding!Then make the final conclusion! If they do betray u, just say byebye, and start yr new life, cause they r unworth!
@shubhamv (152)
• India
12 May 10
Thanks for your help! I appreciate it!!
@Nicapol (67)
• United States
12 May 10
how old are you? you really asked someone you didnt know to marry you? you werent in love. you cant love someone you dont even know. as for the situation, the mistake u made was not getting to know her before you oh so idiotically asked her to marry you. seriously kid. you need to get over it.
@shubhamv (152)
• India
12 May 10
Thanks for your help!!
@neh357 (174)
• Philippines
12 May 10
I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. Let me tell you something, we girls have an attitude to play hard to get. Is there an issue which is not resolved between the two of you? Are you demanding most of the time? Do you recall some instances that she said she is tired and want to have some space? Typical, eh. Have you tried all efforts, what I mean in an effort, is the effort you have showed when you are still courting her, maybe she missed those. If a girl said no, that means yes, I a girl plays hard to get, that means your efforts are not enough. Have you tried asking her if she still loves you? Did she said she is breaking up with you? Or just not talking? Give her the space she needed. Give yourself some space. Maybe you are so focused on her that you yourself does not even notice that she wants to miss you sometimes. Give it a week not talking to her. I dont think that you dont know what is the matter, I know that you know. Why did you walk away? That is simply accusing her of something which is maybe the reason why she is pissed. Always text her you love her. Dont expect a reply though..
@shubhamv (152)
• India
12 May 10
I tried everything but she has not contacted to me even once! Thanks for you help though!
@mine2008 (108)
• Philippines
11 May 10
wow easy dude its pretty obvious she doesnt care for you. if you really interested on here just try to serenade or make some sweet move. when u get him give some s(h)it i mean kiss here f(u)ck or do what u want. dont be serious with a girl look around theirs a lot of babes their. well seriously the best way to fix a problem is to talk about the problem. take a step before it gone common dude dont be senti just talk to her nicely and respect what she want. ^^
@shubhamv (152)
• India
12 May 10
Thanks for your help!!
@umit_umit (1986)
• India
11 May 10
Well friend it has happened with me also,but the time has passed the scratching and bitting period has gone i suffered the same humilation even i was not at fault at all!!i chased her day and night pleaded her so much,but she got the better option and left me,and then i was in deprtession for long,but now i am happily married!!thanks GOD,my Girl friend turned to me after being dumped by the guy,but the time has passed the natyure gave him the lesson and now i have no feelings foe her condition!!it was her choice and she has got it??
@shubhamv (152)
• India
12 May 10
Your life turned out the way you wanted! But my life is still the same! But hanks for your help!
• China
11 May 10
So, as i experienced,1st,never put all yourself on a girl,that's dangerous.2nd,grasping is an speedup of a kind of lost.
@shubhamv (152)
• India
11 May 10
I guess I gambled my life and precious time on her!!
@thanks1961 (7049)
• India
11 May 10
It is 6-7 months now. Feb is gone and now it is May. If she really need you and keep a good relation with you, she could have maintain it. And also, if she really like you, she would have come forward. Now, after all, you opened everything to her and she really understood who you are. A better evaluation or comparison is made and your got less mark. You might have loved her and you didn't maintain a reserve point with you. 6 months time is enough to get a relationship to get matured. Now, prepare for a better talk and open discussion. Whenever you are in good mood and if she is available, tell directly that you need an hours time. And discuss the issue very plainly and observe how she reacts to it. Somewhere you are got measured in low points. That you should realise. And also you need to learn certain universal law. I don't know your age. Still I am telling that after a open discussion (if she is willing), from the overall result, you can get a conclusion whether you should continue the relationship. If you really want to marry her, tell openly. And if she hesitate, just get out of the situation (it is hard to do that but you should), and relax. I know that you love her. But if she didn't realise and she like the other one, what to do? Concentrate on studies and just ignore the subject for some time. Gradually you will neglect her and if you can just be a friend. I am not asking you to go back, but if she neglect you, what you should understand. If silver is lost, gold is there around. Study well and concentrate more to get a few marks as your additional feather. Be a decent gentlemand and only beleive that you are not a good match for her. Have faith in you, everything wll get resolved. Good life will come to you. Again, if you wish to have a detailed word, I am there at k.thankappan@in.ey.com Best regards, Thank-s And if you can, just get the things
@shubhamv (152)
• India
11 May 10
The suggestion you gave me won't work! As I already told that she is not talking to me no matter what! And no matter how hard I may try, I just can't get her out of my head!!
• Philippines
11 May 10
that girl is not worth it of your time, effort and energy. you did not do something wrong, it is her. sometimes because they are so in love that they become blinded. i mean they always blame themselves rather than looking at the other one. try to ignore her maybe after sometime she would realize your sacrifices for her, that no other man could do that again for her.
@shubhamv (152)
• India
11 May 10
Thanks for understanding the situation! You are right as I was blaming myself for all this for so much time! I wish she realises this too!
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
11 May 10
I hate to bring that cold opinion of mine to you, she might just already left you, and you won't need to pursue after her any more. A friend of mine who married three years. Her wife all of sudden leave him and ignore him. The same situation as you. I hope that won't happen to you, and I hope that you both resolve the misunderstandings.
@shubhamv (152)
• India
11 May 10
Thanks for your help! You are probably right because she ignores me and I guess that she is in love with my friend now!
@swn_chik (266)
• India
27 Jul 10
Hi,I may not be the right person to give advise you on this but being a girl myself ,I think you should confront her and clear your doubts.I think she doesn't like you being so possessive or may be she don't like some stuffs you do because I usually try to avoid people who do stuffs I don't like and when people know how to preach but doesn't really practice themselves .