I was the Mother, and now I'm the Child

United States
May 12, 2010 11:24pm CST
Life is so strange. I raised 2 boys...one is over 21 and moved out. The other is only 16 but decided to live with his dad recently. My mother had a stroke and I'm now living in her house so I can help her. A few months ago, I was the mother who told the kids to take the trash out. Now I'm the kid and my mother tells ME to take the trash out! When I go out, she asks where I was and what took me so long. Has anyone else gone through a change like this? How did you deal with it? Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane.
3 people like this
6 responses
@schulzie (4064)
• United States
13 May 10
I've been that way for about the past 19 years. My mother was 40 when she had me and I was the only child. I got married at 22 and had lived with her until I got married. Then, when I was 23 - 10 months after I was married and out on my own - she lost the house she was renting and moved in with us in what I thought was going to be a temporary housing situation. Well, she broke her ankle a few months later and stayed with us, all while I had my 4 children. I cooked for her, cleaned for her, shopped for her, drove her everywhere, ran errands, etc. Finally, about 4 years ago she developed dementia and became too much for me to handle with all of my children, etc. So I had to put her into a nursing home. Anyways, yes, I felt sandwiched between being wife, mother, and daughter. Eventually it became that I was her mother instead of being her daughter. I feel for you but at least your youngest is 16 years old so it is not as bad as it could be. And thank goodness you are there to help your mother out. She is very lucky. You are a good daughter. Hang in there. It will be ok. You're doing the right thing. Just make sure you make time for yourself. Have a great day and happy myLotting!!!
• United States
14 May 10
Yep, It could be worse. I'm hangin' in there! Thanks!
• United States
14 May 10
Yeah I do experienced such thing but not on my mom but my mother in-law. she passed away last year. she is really scared and so much things bothering on her mind. that in everything I have to do I need to come back quick or else she will asked : what takes you so long??? lol! but it's okey maybe life is just like that..!the important part there is we show care and love to these people who are part of our life..!
1 person likes this
• United States
14 May 10
It sounds like you took good care of your mother in law. Thanks for your kind comment.
@Ladyslipper (1330)
• Philippines
13 May 10
Hmmm... That's kind of funny. hahaha! It made me smile. At least now you know how it feels again to be the child. It also makes you realize how your children feel when you tell them to do that or ask them those questions. Hahahaha! But in your situation it would feel not right since you're already an adult with your own children. I have not been in that kind of situation yet. I'm living far away from my parents with my own family. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
14 May 10
Hi Ladyslipper, Thanks for your comment. Glad I made you smile :)
@qamarep (4448)
• Pakistan
13 May 10
wow that is weird that after all the care your kids dont respect you and dont keep care of you and leave you
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
14 May 10
hi mo malisa65 yes after a stroke older people get scared and sort of controlling, and probably a bit scared to as thats quite a physical ordeal to go through. have patience with your mom as she does not mean to be so controlling, she is just frightened by her body doing things to her she could not understand. I am living in a retirement home and have met some of the residents here who have had strokes and they acted a lot like your mom is doing too. I am stroke free, and outside of diabetes and a bad leg I am really a whole lot healthier in mind and body than most who retired here out of free choice. mine was only because we were evicted from our apartment when my son lost his job.we were homeless and my son realized I was not physically able to walk the streets allday every day so we could go to a homeless shelter at night. so here I am till he finds a new job.
• United States
14 May 10
Hey Hatley, Thanks for your comment. I hope things get straightened out for you soon.
@GardenGerty (105453)
• United States
13 May 10
Life does get to be a whirlwind. I think your mom is being overly controlling of you, because she is losing control of so many things and it may scare her, to have to have you come take care of her. I have been in and out of so many relationships over the years that it really gets strange sometimes. You can come here to vent, it is a good place to be.
• United States
14 May 10
Yea, this is a great place to vent, haha, Thanks for your comment Gerty!