Shouldn't You Want More?

@erikmama (12934)
United States
May 14, 2010 4:46pm CST
There is a girl I know who has absoltley no ambitions. She doesn't want to get a better job, and is happy her 20 hours per week. She can never go shopping and buy new ot nice things, and money is always tight. She is happy with the things that people give her, no matter what shape or condition it is in. For me I always dream of having nice things. I know if I put enough effort inyto it I might now live an extravagant life, but I want nice things. I think we should always aim to have high standards for ourselves. What do you think? Should you be happy and accept that you're just poor and broke or should you want more?
5 people like this
27 responses
@cripfemme (7718)
• United States
15 May 10
It depends on the person. Some people are happy with their status in life and want nothing else. I, myself, am fairly low-maintenance. All I want in life is to write my stories and poetry and have someone read them. Of course, I still need the basics--house, food, etc. I'm not one of these women who needs a million dollars or five sports cars to feel complete. I'm pretty happy as long as I have a full belly, access to a wheelchair-accessible bathroom, someone to help me use it, and a notebook.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
15 May 10
Wow, I think everyone took my discussion beyond what I meant!! I am simple,too. All I want is a decent house in a good area, decent clothes to wear and nice clothes for my kids, any car that will get me from Point A to Point B, and a few dollars in my pockeyt incase I want to go buy a CD or go to the movies.This girl is happy with her living situations(bad area, not so nice living quarters,NEVER has money to even buy herself a new pair of pants). Thos small things are nice to be able to do, an I think a person should have some type of motivation to want atleast those small things,
@roxxtime (299)
• United States
14 May 10
I know someone like this and it bugs me but she seems content. I can't think she actually is happy but what can you do? She doesn't seem to change her mind even if we talk to her so I want more out of life but you can't force someone else. There will someday be something that drives her to want more I just don't know what may push her.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
15 May 10
It just mademe wonder if I should be happy with what I have instead of trying to have more.I just have dreams that I have to hold on to.
@roxxtime (299)
• United States
15 May 10
Nope you are right. I mean don't be ungratefull but it's good to strive for more and to have goals. I mean it's a turnoff (whether friendship or relationship) for someone to not have ambition. It's lame and sad.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
15 May 10
That is exactly what I am talking about! I know I am in a messes up situation,but it is temporary.I am so determined to have better, to have more. There is a guy who likes me, and by no means do I think I am better than him,but he is pretty much the same way. He isn't trying to better himself, and that is a total turn off.
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
14 May 10
Unfortunately I think alot of people feel this way who live in some run down places through the US. Once you are living in down and out conditions alot of people don't see a way out and are just happy with what they have. I'm like you and have always strived to do and have better. I guess its also has alot to do with having self esteem and respect for yourself.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
15 May 10
You know,I am so thankful that I have the roof I have over my head.I am happy it is something I dyd,but I aint living here forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I just want simple things though- working heat, no ants, carpet from this century, in a decent area.I am going to work my butt off to do this. I think it is great that I am always wanting more for myself and my kids. I am very happy that I have this, but I want better, and I am not even talking about a house with 5 bedrooms or an elevator. I dont want my kids to grow up here or go to the schools here.I want so much for them
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
12 Jun 10
Thank you so much erikmama for the best response mark.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
12 Jun 10
Hmmm...we seem to always be on here...I can't sleep-again. You are quiet welcome!
14 May 10
I don't see the problem with been happy with what you have. No doubt she doesn't think "wow imagine if I could afford that", but don't we all?? If you are constantly wanting more than what you have, you will never be happy with life. Maybe she realises if she works more than she does she wouldn't like what she does, she'd be tired all the time, wouldn't see family etc, and if she is happy with her life, then I don't see what is wrong with that!!! :)
• United States
14 May 10
When I was younger , raising a family my husband and I worked to keep up with the Jones . We were slaves to our house payment and all the stuff we thought we needed . My husband had a heart attack and I was diagnosed with cancer , Stress related I'm sure . We sold everything and now live a simple life in a little fishing village. The local people here have hardly anything , but they are happy . I have learned alot from them. Like that less is better , and your house is not who you are , it's just where you live . I think your friend is a mature young lady. When you are happy within yourself you don't need all the Stuff . How I see it is that people who are not happy within, are the ones that always want more, as if they are trying to fill a void inside of them.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
15 May 10
I see no problem in being happy with what you have. I have nothing right now,but I am happy with tht little I do have.But each week i try to buy new things that I need. I hope that I am able to move on to bigger and better things one day. I dont try to keep up with anyone, nor will I ever try. But it is niec to be able to pick out the things you want and like instead of just having to accept what is givento yuou. I want my kids to have more than what i did,too.DSo I think we should always strive for the best. I am not trying to fill any type of void inside of me, but I like nice things and have dreams to get nice things. And I dont even mean new, extravagant things Just a bed ,dishes, television,or a new comforter...the basic things you should want to buy new. I am not saying sulk and be miserable with what you have but atleast want to be able to buy yourself a new outfit.
@CJscott (4184)
• Canada
15 May 10
Contentment breeds stagnancy. It is good to be happy with what you have, and to accept the charity of others. It is also good to strive to be better, personally, I have trouble accepting that fact that there is even one person in the world that isn't striving to be better in at least one area of their life. Money and material possessions aren't important to a lot of people. Usually these people try to better themselves spiritually, or intellectually. Sincerely and With Appreciation.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
12 Jun 10
I couldnt agree more!! Be happy with the generosity of others but always strive to have bigger and better things.It is good to have dreams. I dont think money and material things make a person who they are,nor am I saying we shouldnt b happy with what we have.But if I am making $200 a week and could find a job making $400 a week,ill hop on it.In our current living situations,I feel this can not be my home forever,but she is happy with it.I like my kids to have new things from the store, to go out to eat now and again.Just the small,simple things msot people do she doesnt and it doesnt seem to bother her at all.It is strange to me
@reckon21 (3487)
• Philippines
15 May 10
It entirely depends on every situation I can be contented if all the things i want is already with in my grasp. But if most of the things can't be mine and that would be the time to work hard so that I can achieve my dreams and get to buy those things I love to have. Wanting to have nice things is not bad as long that you have it in a proper way. Maybe there's some things that I might needed badly and there's some shortcut too on how to get it but if it will only bring me harm then I might as will be contented for a time being and wait for the right time to get it. Just my opinion about this matter.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
12 Jun 10
I am talking about simple things...such as a better job, a better place to live, better things for her child...the things I thought most os us always hoped to have in life.I know I have simple dreams that I hold very near my heart nbecause without the dreams I feel I am living for nothing.Ive been in worse and I have been in better and id like to be in between thetw!
• Philippines
15 May 10
I guess some people will be contented with what they have. And some won't be regarding what they have. But it's human nature to crave more. If i knew this girl you were talking about, i wouldn't believe her. She has to crave for more. Maybe she lacks something that's why she settles for something less.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
12 Jun 10
Oppsie...double double posting! LOL!
• Philippines
15 May 10
I guess some people will be contented with what they have. And some won't be regarding what they have. But it's human nature to crave more. If i knew this girl you were talking about, i wouldn't believe her. She has to crave for more. Maybe she lacks something that's why she settles for something less.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
12 Jun 10
I hope so.Maybe she just keeps it to herself because she doesnt want to be a failure,or feel like a failure.Althoug I cam content and happy I have the things that I do habe, I hope to one day have more.And I have to hold on to those dreams or life would be pointless.
@ndubose (418)
• United States
15 May 10
I agree you should want more I am trying to talk my friend into getting out of that second hand frame of mind it is ok to step out of the box and treat yourself every now and then she has a hard time doing so... Which in the end her kids and there kids have the same mentality....If I had a dollar for every time she said "I can't afford this, I can't afford that" I would be rich. Now she is cheap but she does spend her money on unnecessary ****. Instead of paying her bills she rather pay on it so she is a notice queen.....
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
15 May 10
I am always buying for my kids,too. I am very picky about the things they were, not letting them go around dirty, etc.I know this doesn't make a person who they are, but... There are lots og things I cant afford. But the small things,like a new outfit or a toy for my kids...this is the basic hings I am talking about. This girl is satisfied with whateve someone gives her, and if they dont give it to her, she doesnt hace it.
@Porcospino (16639)
• Denmark
14 May 10
I am the opposite type of person. In the past I have had 3 jobs at the same time in order to save up money for travelling, but people have different priorities. Maybe this girl likes to have a lot of free time to spend on her family or other things, and maybe that is more important to her than buying nice things. 20 hours a week in not a lot and in my country it would be hard to get enough money for rent, food and bills if you work "only" work 20 hours a week, and there definately wouldn't be money left for shopping. If it was me I would probably try to get one more job or a better job, but the things that are right for me might not be the right choice for her. I think that the most important thing is that she is happy with the life that she has chosen.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
15 May 10
Right now I am unemployed but am working extra hard at my online earnings becaue there are so many thiungs I need. I mean simple things in life such as new clothjes or dishes. She s happy with her 20 hours a week. Everything she gets is old, worn out stuff people no longer want, and she is happy with it. I dont knwo may be I am not saying this right. It is important to be happy. I am happy with what I have, and believe me, it aint much. But I am working hard to be able to ge tthe things I want to get, like a nicer place to live, decent furniture, and clothing for me and my kids.Is there anything wrong with wanting a better neighborhood, a beter school for your kids, or to be able to buy them a toy once in a while?
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
12 Jul 10
Hi Erikmama, Well, I don't know. I am not overly materialistic but I do like my home looking decent. I am pretty creative so I can make things look pretty cool on very little money. Still, I could not exist on 20 hours a week work. I work full time and it is just barely enough to pay my rent, food, utilitys etc and make sure my daughter is well taken care of. I don't need to be extravagant but I would not kick back and only work 20 hours and live off from others. I like to be able to at times meet a friend for lunch or treat for coffee. Still my money is almost always pretty tight. I am turning in my change this week just to buy groceries. I could get another job to lighten things up a bit but as it is I don't see my daughter enough.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
19 May 10
I think part of being human is not being contented with whatever you got. You've got to work at getting a little bit more. That's how I rationalize not being content with my job. I've always told myself, that the day to start looking for a better job is the day I first report to work on my current job. I haven't been successful yet, so I am still here. But I continuously try to have a little bit of ambition. I guess there are advantages for not wanting more, less pressure, fewer problems, etc. But how could you experience more out of life if you're happy with a 20-hour work-week. So, I don't approve of this girl you described.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
17 May 10
I know that if I was the one in this girl's situation I would certainly want more. I mean, I am resigned to the fact that our family is never going to be rich, but that doesn't mean that I don't try to work harder to be able to afford the little extras that people desire in their lives. I stay at home with my son right now, but when he starts school my goal is to either go straight back to work or to finish my degree that I started when I was much younger. I really don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but I do desire to have a career at some point. However, I don't want to sacrifice my son's childhood for that.
• United States
15 May 10
I'm not trying to sound like a rear-end, but everyone has a right to live their life anyway they choose, as long as it's legal and within reason. But even if it's illegal or out of the norm, then hey, "whatever floats your boat" is how i see it. An associate of mines was diagnoised with MS twenty years ago and have just thrown in the towel. I have to be around her for work reasons and she irks the mess out of me. So if it's not work related, she's the last person on my mind. Being around her makes me want to get drunk, because her body is "just there", with absolutely no purpose. She's in denial about being depressed and will get loud and stupid with you, if you mention anything related to her MS. So, i just have her labeled as a lazy, useless person, because i can't think of anything else to see her as.
@qamarep (4450)
• Pakistan
15 May 10
try to take to a psychiatrist .. is because of her mental imbalance she is thinking like this .
@Rysonia (310)
• United States
15 May 10
There was a time when I worked a part time job as a Dispatcher for the local Police Department. Money was tight and I never had any money for extras. I was content though. I loved my job, the work I did was fulfilling. I enjoyed being able to spend time with my daughter and not missing so many of the firsts that so many parents in our Capitalistic society often do today. Looking at your post from my own experience, all I can say is good for this girl that she is content with life and isn't making herself miserable. Now that the economy has forced the Department to lay all of us girls off I am working three separate jobs working practically round the clock just to be at the same place financially that I used to be at. Suffice it to say my contentment level is completely shot. I'm slightly envious of her.
• United Kingdom
15 May 10
I think that it's nice to have ambition although this isn't for everyone! The good thing is we have freedom of choice to decide what we each want out of life. This girl you mention, if she's happy and content then there's nothing wrong with the choice she has made for herself. It sounds to me like she has a certain purity in spirit! She hasn't been corrupted by materialism and always trying to achieve something again, not that there's anything wrong with that! I think that I have reached a certain point in life whereby I'm not that bothered anymore. I am content with what I have and if I achieve more then that's fantastic but I'm not going to give myself any stress over it. Andrew
@alexies29 (124)
• Philippines
15 May 10
It's good to be contented with what we have, but it's not bad to dream and be ambitious. We can do more if we want to. We need to strive harder to become better persons. The girl that you know might have insecurities keeping her away from looking or getting more opportunities to become better, or she's just the type of person who's very contented with simple life.
@Tangeryne (413)
• India
15 May 10
Hey Eric, I so know what you mean. My dad is exactly like that. He's just so content with what he has, that he's oblivious to the fact that the house is falling down all around him. Literally, it needs repairs and is too small but he thinks its fine since both me and my brother don't stay there anymore so he thinks why do it up when only he and my mom have to stay there. His attitude totally pisses me off, no matter what anyone tells him he doesn't care!!!! The atmosphere at home totally depresses me and my mom. I don't why people are like that, its not that you should not be grateful for what you have but why not strive harder to make your life more comfortable?? I don't think its wrong to want more, I definitely want more but then your should not go overboard and buy stuff you can't afford and go over your head in debts. That's the right way.
• Philippines
15 May 10
i dont blame her for doing what she thinks is right. i mean, i want to have everything, to have a nice job, to buy things and eat delicious food. but having those things cant make me always happy, sometimes having enough is okay and having too much is a headache... do things that makes you happy :)