i don't have much money and no money no friendship!!

Indonesia
May 15, 2010 11:42pm CST
I have a friend, actually not close friend because i don't know him very much. I think its difficult to be his friend. If we go hangout, he always suggest a place who spend my money. I feel inferior and i think that i don't deserve to be his friend. What do you think? Should i save my money and hangout with him and his friend when i have enough money?
3 people like this
17 responses
@donsky14 (5963)
• Philippines
16 May 10
Well, you don't really need money to gain friends. If you wanna hangout with them then maybe you could hang out somewhere that doesn't require you to spend too much money.
• Indonesia
16 May 10
Thank you for your response. That's a good idea but what kind of place? If they go hangout they prefer to go to Vila or something like that.Or do you have recommended place that rich people like but good for me too?
@donsky14 (5963)
• Philippines
16 May 10
How about try going to the park or something.
• Indonesia
16 May 10
can be, but what kind of activity that can we do there? Just look around. It's too bored.
@ifa225 (11099)
• Indonesia
16 May 10
if he knows you better then he will understand you not to bring you to expensive place. i think it is better for you to keep a distance from him.
• Indonesia
16 May 10
Thank you for your response. That what i'm doing now. I just keep a distance from him. But sometimes I feel that i must be his friend because many people do the same like do.
@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
16 May 10
hi 7thheaven no my goodness you do not have to buy friends, if 'they will not be friends without getting money out of you then they are not real friends. a friend does not use you as a bank, he or she will help you and not want any thing from you but your friendship. You are not inferior to somebody greedy like that, that person does not deserve your friendship at all as'he is using you, do not feel inferior as you are much more superior than he is.
• Indonesia
16 May 10
Thank you for your response. May a little miss communication here. He don't make me as a bank. he is the rich guy. He have many thing that i don't have. That's why i feel inferior. I can't go with him if i don't have money. That's why if there are some event, he didn't invite me.
• Philippines
17 May 10
hi... i hope u may find meaning in ur username and live with it. 7th heaven i think is a place where people has the confidence to go to it and recognize the feeling of being there which i the case of ur name a i think "undescribable" happiness. my point is, learn to appreciate who u are by knowing your self more, regardless of what others may say or describe who you are. what matters most is HOW you look at yourself. by doing so, you learn to appreciate people who wants to be your friends because they LIKE you and the WAY you are. friendship cannot be measure by what others can give you or by what you can give to other, however, it can find meaning is acceptance, understanding, nurturance or each other and taking care of each other no matter what your distance is. if your present friends only cling to you because of finances, then by all means have a second thought and ask your self, "is this a kind of friends i'd like to spend my time with?" take care...
@dio123 (1790)
• India
17 May 10
Don't think like this, true friends do not bother whether your have money or not, friendship is all about share and caring.It does not matter whether you have money in your pocket or not, if you are friendly and jovial you will find a lot of friends around you. Be true to your friends go out with them, share a lot of fun and care about them and see you have no limit of true friends who care for you also.
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
17 May 10
Hi 7thheaven, Real friendship doesn't cost money but it should be honest. I would tell him that you simply are on a real tight budget and suggest you hang out at each others houses or something that doesn't cost much money. I live in low income housing and have very little money for extras. One of my very closest guy friends is a millionaire. I don't feel inferior to him at all. My best friend is far wealthier financially than I am and I also don't feel inferior to her either. If she wants to go shopping at the mall and I can't afford it then there is no problem at all. She either goes on her own or we hang out doing something else. Just be yourself.
@TexLadyPj (1329)
• United States
17 May 10
I was going to respond to your discussion, however I can't better the responses already written. I don't buy friends, if people aren't my friend unless I foot the bill, then I find other friends, that accept me for who I am, not what my money can or cannot buy.
• Philippines
16 May 10
it's not right that you think you don't deserve to be his friend just because you're penniless. it would have been acceptable if you think he doesn't deserve you because you're bad a$$, which is not equal to "having no money" by the way. i used to have the same experiences, but because i don't want to be freeloader nor would i want to be spending my money for unnecessary things like "hanging out" in expensive spots, i politely reject my friends invitations. it's a plus that i made them aware even before we became good friends, that i am not a spender because i only have enough money to buy my basic needs. but so not to sacrifice bonding moments with them, and since i am really saving my allowances, i go out with them some times too. it's okay to spend once in a while, when you have enough savings for "costly" adventures.^_~
@bird123 (10481)
• United States
16 May 10
Communication is important in friendship not money. I remember just the other day when I told a friend. I don't have any money to spend so let's just walk through the park. Tonight, we can gaze at the stars and get in some good quality time. If we are going to value our friendships based on their money supply, we will miss an awful lot in life. The very best things in life are free. Look for them!!!
@deebomb (15323)
• United States
16 May 10
There is no reason for you to fell inferior. You are just as good as hi is!! He may be doing that to you so you'll spend your money on his good time. True friends don't expect you to spend your money on them. These so called friends are just out to have you pay for their good time. A real friend will just enjoy your company and spending time doing nothing but talking. Save your money but don't let this person talk you into spending it on him. Let him pay his own way.
• United States
16 May 10
my sister has a friend she works with that does the same thing we all went to the mall and every store we went into she wanted either me my sister or our other friend to buy it for her. I said no. I would only spend money on a friend if i knew him/her for a long time and then they wouldnt have to ask me. Tell your firned how you feel if he doesnt change get a new friend nobody should be treated that way
16 May 10
The thing that alarmed me about this discussion is the fact that you say you feel inferior. Under no circumstances should you feel inferior to someone else, and especially not because of money. Maybe you could suggest doing something with this friend now and then that doesn't require you to spend a lot of money. Maybe go for coffee or to see a movie? There are many things to do that don't cost a lot.
• Philippines
16 May 10
Just save your money. Don't hangout with that creep anymore. You're just wasting your money on him. If you're gonna waste your money, at least waste it on a chick. And besides, he's not your friend. He's just using you. Accept the fact and move on.
@cheongyc (5075)
• Malaysia
16 May 10
Oh no, I think you are being exploited by your friends. Good friends never exploit us, but help us actually. Therefore, we should choose our friend wisely. Not all friends are good friends. If I have friends who try to fool me or exploit me, I will keep a distance from them. Hope this help and be cautious with your exploiting friends. Happy posting and have a nice day!
@cip116 (1011)
• Romania
16 May 10
I do`t understand why people have to spend money in an expensive place With a good friend you can look a movie on TV,playing a game,to find something to do on the computer If your friend have "money complex"...want to show... "who I am"...that is his problem not yours
• Philippines
16 May 10
i don't think so.. you can't buy happiness.. you can be happy in doing simple things like sport that doesn't need much money or doesn't need money at all..
@qamarep (4450)
• Pakistan
16 May 10
yes this is also a problem with me here i believe everyone once in life time can have this problem if they go out of money