The scenario after break up.

India
May 16, 2010 1:56am CST
Hi All, I guess all of you might have been in a relationship at one or the other time. There may be times when u really wanted a relationship to work but somehow it is ended. The feeling of the same is really disheartening and depressing. I am going through that phase since last week. Can someone help me on how to overcome this and live the life again?? Awaiting someones response.
9 responses
@ankit_620 (496)
• India
16 May 10
hey kingkrunal,i totally understand how you are feeling at the moment but the life does not end here my friend and i do have some advice for you. We all know that Break ups can be rough and amicable, not matter what nobody, noone wants go through them. The loss of your preserved Relationship can bring intense heartache. But you know yourself that this isn't the end. All you need to do is try and believe. Here is something i want to tell you that will help you a lot :- Think through everything througly, not obsessively - Go ahead and mull it over, as many times as necessary , within reason. Consider all the reasons you two broke up. Even if it sometimes seems as if there wasn't a good reason. Understand that you enjoyed being together for a while but if the relationship was not what both of you and your partner wanted for life, it would have ended eventually, no matter what. In this case better sooner than later . Don't rethink your decision - Don't play this game with yourself. Accept the situation and work on moving forward. Talk to your friends - Hey be social all the time and you will see that surrounding yourself wit compassionate,supportive friends will help you see yourself as a worthwhile person. Remove memory triggers - I want you to remove all that stuff that reminds you of your ex. You don't have to dwell onto the painful feelings and memories. If you can pass this, you are more than half over your ex. Find happiness in other areas of your life - Do all the things you used to enjoy or all that you have been missing while you were in a relationship. All that you were leaving behind..go grab it. And the last LET GO - Understand that there is no benefit in holding onto heartache, regret and hatret toward another person. Realize that although it is over, your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways. You can congratulate yourself for being brave enough to take a risk and fall in love, and encourage your heart that even though love didn't work out this time, there will be a next time. Change your thinking that will help change the way you feel. Soon you will be feeling released and free, and ready to take on new challenges
• India
16 May 10
Really help full for me. Thanks a lot. I will be trying all this things. But u know when u had loved some one so much that u cannot even imagine the life with out her then it becomes very difficult. I had loved her more than my life... I never thought that i have to be alone at this stage.
• Philippines
16 May 10
Hi kingkrunal, I'm sorry to hear what you are enduring now. You're right, you have to live your life again, and that is a positive and mature way of dealing what your are enduring now. I'm glad that you what should be done, you just don't know how? I hope these pieces of advices from me would make sense. Start realizing and plant into your mind that you no longer own your partner. Accept the fact no matter how painful and difficult it is. Second, you can opt to go out and meet your friends. You can go traveling, watch movies or dine whenever you want. Your might have seen your partner as your world, but she is not your life. Appreciate the things you have and not what you don't have.
• India
16 May 10
Yes buddy, thanka a lot for the response. Actually i had not been in touch of friends when i was with her. I dont know how to go back. but they all are good and will give it a try
@virgo9 (7)
• South Africa
17 May 10
Hi kingkrunal, I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. If you are still young, it may happen again and again until you meet the right woman one day. It's part of life, my friend and although it is a very unpleasant experience now, one day you'll be able to look back and even smile about it as part of your learning curve. My advice: try to see this as an experience you had to go through and learn from it. Learn from the mistakes you both made and avoid these in future relationships. Yes, there will be more - believe me. This is how you progress towards that one relationship that will hopefully be the right and permanent one. Guys who never have these experiences and marry their first steady girl friend often realize their mistake and lack of experience too late and many times want to 'break out' either by fooling around or leaving the marriage. You're okay - believe that. There will be others. Pull yourself up and face the world. Look up your friends and start living again. Hope this helped! Cheers, Virgo9
@umit_umit (1986)
• India
16 May 10
well its very very true its a dissonence full of remorse but then one has to move in the life with more maturity and caution!!
• Malaysia
16 May 10
hey.. i also had an experienced like you before..to be honest.i still cant forget that girl that took my heart away without no reason.its been 3 years since that happened.ive lost my life.ive lost everything.still cant wake up till now.but,besides of that.ive gain too much experienced that is very expensive too pay.hence,i still cant find any way to overcome this.huh.pity me
@rhinarea (311)
16 May 10
Recovering from breakup is difficult. However, it is important to know and to keep reminding yourself that you can and will move on. But healing takes time, so be patient with your self.
@kielogs (188)
• Philippines
16 May 10
There are some situations that it was not meant. I know it sounds like a cliche but life is too short to dwell on these situations. One must drift away from the person for a long time at the same time keeping one's self busy. In the long run definitely you will meet more people especially when you are still young.
@Aitrita (145)
• Switzerland
16 May 10
well, I sorta was in your situation...it's been months though. ankit_620's reply is so great, I'd just add that you should also consider time. like remember how you feel today about him, then 30 days later remember to check out your feeling! you'd notice that after 30 days your feeling are less intense...so did I...like learning to deal with difficult situations through time.
@Rysonia (310)
• United States
16 May 10
It's not something you are going to be able to over come over night. My recommendation would be to distract yourself, do not whatever you do allow yourself to brood. While a little self examination can be healthy, brooding especially when done immediately following a break up can be a dangerous thing. Spend time with other people, do not lock yourself up in your house, go out and do even if it is just a short walk. Stay active, remember to eat and if necessary exhaust yourself into sleep.